Stroke of insight - Jill Bolte Taylor
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
I<00:00:14.840> grew<00:00:15.840> up<00:00:15.869> to<00:00:16.170> study<00:00:16.410> the<00:00:16.650> brain<00:00:16.890> because<00:00:17.550> I
I grew up to study the brain because I
I grew up to study the brain because I
have<00:00:17.880> a<00:00:17.910> brother<00:00:18.180> who<00:00:18.840> has<00:00:19.050> been<00:00:19.259> diagnosed
have a brother who has been diagnosed
have a brother who has been diagnosed
with<00:00:19.919> a<00:00:20.040> brain<00:00:20.189> disorder<00:00:20.480> schizophrenia<00:00:21.480> and
with a brain disorder schizophrenia and
with a brain disorder schizophrenia and
as<00:00:23.520> a<00:00:23.669> sister<00:00:24.240> and<00:00:24.539> later<00:00:24.779> as<00:00:24.990> a<00:00:25.019> scientist<00:00:25.769> I
as a sister and later as a scientist I
as a sister and later as a scientist I
wanted<00:00:27.210> to<00:00:27.300> understand<00:00:27.869> why<00:00:28.109> is<00:00:28.170> it<00:00:28.500> that<00:00:28.980> I
wanted to understand why is it that I
wanted to understand why is it that I
can<00:00:29.340> take<00:00:29.580> my<00:00:29.820> dreams<00:00:30.210> I<00:00:30.869> can<00:00:31.199> connect<00:00:31.740> them<00:00:31.920> to
can take my dreams I can connect them to
can take my dreams I can connect them to
my<00:00:32.160> reality<00:00:32.369> and<00:00:33.269> I<00:00:33.690> can<00:00:33.900> make<00:00:34.050> my<00:00:34.080> dreams<00:00:34.260> come
my reality and I can make my dreams come
my reality and I can make my dreams come
true<00:00:35.180> what<00:00:36.180> is<00:00:36.300> it<00:00:36.510> about<00:00:36.660> my<00:00:37.019> brother's<00:00:37.470> brain
true what is it about my brother's brain
true what is it about my brother's brain
and<00:00:38.129> his<00:00:38.339> schizophrenia<00:00:39.269> that<00:00:40.080> he<00:00:40.290> cannot
and his schizophrenia that he cannot
and his schizophrenia that he cannot
connect<00:00:41.129> his<00:00:41.370> dreams<00:00:41.850> to<00:00:42.239> a<00:00:42.330> common<00:00:43.049> and
connect his dreams to a common and
connect his dreams to a common and
shared<00:00:43.620> reality<00:00:44.519> so<00:00:45.089> they<00:00:45.269> instead<00:00:45.629> become
shared reality so they instead become
shared reality so they instead become
delusion<00:00:47.159> so<00:00:48.000> I<00:00:48.030> dedicated<00:00:48.449> my<00:00:48.960> career<00:00:49.019> to
delusion so I dedicated my career to
delusion so I dedicated my career to
research<00:00:49.769> into<00:00:50.400> the<00:00:50.610> severe<00:00:51.000> mental
research into the severe mental
research into the severe mental
illnesses<00:00:51.960> and<00:00:52.320> I<00:00:53.100> moved<00:00:53.400> from<00:00:53.549> my<00:00:53.699> home<00:00:53.909> state
illnesses and I moved from my home state
illnesses and I moved from my home state
of<00:00:54.180> Indiana<00:00:54.449> to<00:00:54.930> Boston<00:00:55.500> where<00:00:55.949> I<00:00:55.979> was<00:00:56.159> working
of Indiana to Boston where I was working
of Indiana to Boston where I was working
in<00:00:56.640> the<00:00:56.729> lab<00:00:56.909> of<00:00:56.940> dr.<00:00:57.150> Francine<00:00:57.869> Venice<00:00:58.409> in<00:00:58.619> the
in the lab of dr. Francine Venice in the
in the lab of dr. Francine Venice in the
Harvard<00:00:59.460> Department<00:01:00.059> of<00:01:00.269> Psychiatry<00:01:00.900> and<00:01:01.710> in
Harvard Department of Psychiatry and in
Harvard Department of Psychiatry and in
the<00:01:02.549> lab<00:01:02.760> we<00:01:03.290> were<00:01:04.290> asking<00:01:04.710> the<00:01:04.860> question<00:01:05.369> what
the lab we were asking the question what
the lab we were asking the question what
are<00:01:05.880> the<00:01:06.090> biological<00:01:06.770> differences<00:01:07.770> between
are the biological differences between
are the biological differences between
the<00:01:08.610> brains<00:01:08.640> of<00:01:09.210> individuals<00:01:09.420> who<00:01:10.140> would<00:01:10.290> be
the brains of individuals who would be
the brains of individuals who would be
diagnosed<00:01:10.979> as<00:01:11.220> normal<00:01:11.610> control<00:01:11.760> as<00:01:12.420> compared
diagnosed as normal control as compared
diagnosed as normal control as compared
with<00:01:13.439> the<00:01:13.590> brains<00:01:13.679> of<00:01:14.159> individuals<00:01:14.850> diagnosed
with the brains of individuals diagnosed
with the brains of individuals diagnosed
with<00:01:15.570> schizophrenia<00:01:16.009> schizoaffective<00:01:17.149> or
with schizophrenia schizoaffective or
with schizophrenia schizoaffective or
bipolar<00:01:18.539> disorder<00:01:19.100> so<00:01:20.100> we<00:01:20.310> were<00:01:20.429> essentially
bipolar disorder so we were essentially
bipolar disorder so we were essentially
mapping<00:01:21.960> the<00:01:22.229> micro<00:01:22.710> circuitry<00:01:23.429> of<00:01:23.609> the<00:01:23.909> brain
mapping the micro circuitry of the brain
mapping the micro circuitry of the brain
which<00:01:24.719> cells<00:01:25.079> are<00:01:25.499> communicating<00:01:25.950> with<00:01:26.579> which
which cells are communicating with which
which cells are communicating with which
cells<00:01:27.149> with<00:01:27.810> which<00:01:28.020> chemicals<00:01:28.679> and<00:01:29.009> then<00:01:29.369> in
cells with which chemicals and then in
cells with which chemicals and then in
what<00:01:29.789> quantities<00:01:30.479> of<00:01:30.780> those<00:01:31.079> chemicals<00:01:31.799> so
what quantities of those chemicals so
what quantities of those chemicals so
there<00:01:32.939> was<00:01:33.030> a<00:01:33.060> lot<00:01:33.270> of<00:01:33.420> meaning<00:01:33.869> in<00:01:33.990> my<00:01:34.140> life
there was a lot of meaning in my life
there was a lot of meaning in my life
because<00:01:34.890> I<00:01:34.920> was<00:01:35.189> performing<00:01:35.909> this<00:01:36.030> type<00:01:36.329> of
because I was performing this type of
because I was performing this type of
research<00:01:36.869> during<00:01:37.200> the<00:01:37.439> day<00:01:37.679> but<00:01:38.429> then<00:01:38.640> in<00:01:38.819> the
research during the day but then in the
research during the day but then in the
evenings<00:01:39.420> and<00:01:39.719> and<00:01:40.170> on<00:01:40.530> the<00:01:40.560> weekends<00:01:41.219> I
evenings and and on the weekends I
evenings and and on the weekends I
traveled<00:01:41.909> as<00:01:42.030> an<00:01:42.179> advocate<00:01:42.749> for<00:01:42.960> Nami<00:01:43.200> the
traveled as an advocate for Nami the
traveled as an advocate for Nami the
National<00:01:43.890> Alliance<00:01:44.429> on<00:01:45.090> Mental<00:01:45.149> Illness<00:01:46.100> but
National Alliance on Mental Illness but
National Alliance on Mental Illness but
on<00:01:47.219> the<00:01:47.340> morning<00:01:47.640> of<00:01:47.729> December<00:01:48.210> 10<00:01:48.509> 1996<00:01:49.380> I
on the morning of December 10 1996 I
on the morning of December 10 1996 I
woke<00:01:50.429> up<00:01:50.640> to<00:01:50.819> discover<00:01:50.850> that<00:01:51.450> I<00:01:51.659> had<00:01:52.109> a<00:01:52.139> brain
woke up to discover that I had a brain
woke up to discover that I had a brain
disorder<00:01:52.649> of<00:01:53.219> my<00:01:53.609> own<00:01:53.819> a<00:01:54.270> blood<00:01:55.109> vessel
disorder of my own a blood vessel
disorder of my own a blood vessel
exploded<00:01:55.789> in<00:01:56.789> the<00:01:57.030> left<00:01:57.240> half<00:01:57.539> of<00:01:57.840> my<00:01:58.079> brain
exploded in the left half of my brain
exploded in the left half of my brain
and<00:01:58.950> in<00:01:59.700> the<00:01:59.789> course<00:02:00.060> of<00:02:00.270> four<00:02:00.479> hours<00:02:01.109> I
and in the course of four hours I
and in the course of four hours I
watched<00:02:01.710> my<00:02:02.009> brain<00:02:02.340> completely<00:02:03.259> deteriorate
watched my brain completely deteriorate
watched my brain completely deteriorate
in<00:02:04.469> its<00:02:04.889> ability<00:02:05.429> to<00:02:05.459> process<00:02:05.909> all
in its ability to process all
in its ability to process all
information<00:02:06.740> on<00:02:07.740> the<00:02:08.550> morning<00:02:08.880> of<00:02:09.000> the
information on the morning of the
information on the morning of the
hemorrhage<00:02:09.539> I<00:02:09.810> could<00:02:10.050> not<00:02:10.200> walk<00:02:10.440> talk<00:02:11.220> read
hemorrhage I could not walk talk read
hemorrhage I could not walk talk read
write<00:02:12.600> or<00:02:12.900> recall<00:02:13.470> any<00:02:13.920> of<00:02:14.490> my<00:02:14.760> life<00:02:15.000> I
write or recall any of my life I
write or recall any of my life I
essentially<00:02:16.380> became<00:02:16.650> an<00:02:16.800> infant<00:02:17.220> in<00:02:17.490> a
essentially became an infant in a
essentially became an infant in a
woman's<00:02:18.330> body<00:02:19.520> if<00:02:20.520> you've<00:02:20.730> ever<00:02:20.880> seen<00:02:21.150> a<00:02:21.210> human
woman's body if you've ever seen a human
woman's body if you've ever seen a human
brain
brain
brain
it's<00:02:22.590> obvious<00:02:23.099> that<00:02:23.129> the<00:02:23.430> two<00:02:23.459> hemispheres
it's obvious that the two hemispheres
it's obvious that the two hemispheres
are<00:02:24.480> completely<00:02:25.140> separate<00:02:25.560> from<00:02:25.620> one<00:02:26.159> another
are completely separate from one another
are completely separate from one another
and<00:02:26.700> I<00:02:27.060> have<00:02:27.269> brought<00:02:27.480> for<00:02:27.780> you<00:02:27.810> a<00:02:27.930> real<00:02:28.379> human
and I have brought for you a real human
and I have brought for you a real human
brain
thank<00:02:35.280> you<00:02:35.460> sir<00:02:39.470> so<00:02:40.470> this<00:02:41.070> is<00:02:41.250> a<00:02:41.280> real<00:02:41.550> human
thank you sir so this is a real human
thank you sir so this is a real human
brain<00:02:42.830> this<00:02:43.830> is<00:02:43.890> the<00:02:44.040> front<00:02:44.340> of<00:02:44.430> the<00:02:44.520> brain<00:02:44.760> the
brain this is the front of the brain the
brain this is the front of the brain the
back<00:02:45.750> of<00:02:45.930> the<00:02:45.990> brain<00:02:46.230> with<00:02:46.590> the<00:02:46.620> spinal<00:02:46.710> cord
back of the brain with the spinal cord
back of the brain with the spinal cord
hanging<00:02:47.550> down<00:02:47.910> and<00:02:48.180> this<00:02:49.050> is<00:02:49.200> how<00:02:49.350> it<00:02:49.470> would<00:02:49.620> be
hanging down and this is how it would be
hanging down and this is how it would be
positioned<00:02:49.980> inside<00:02:50.940> of<00:02:51.390> my<00:02:51.540> head<00:02:51.900> and<00:02:52.490> when
positioned inside of my head and when
positioned inside of my head and when
you<00:02:53.610> look<00:02:53.790> at<00:02:53.910> the<00:02:54.000> brain<00:02:54.300> it's<00:02:54.810> obvious<00:02:55.470> that
you look at the brain it's obvious that
you look at the brain it's obvious that
the<00:02:55.860> two<00:02:55.890> cerebral<00:02:56.640> cortices<00:02:57.030> are<00:02:57.960> completely
the two cerebral cortices are completely
the two cerebral cortices are completely
separate<00:02:59.220> from<00:02:59.250> one<00:02:59.610> another<00:03:00.170> for<00:03:01.170> those<00:03:01.320> of
separate from one another for those of
separate from one another for those of
you<00:03:01.590> who<00:03:01.740> understand<00:03:02.220> computers<00:03:02.660> our<00:03:03.660> right
you who understand computers our right
you who understand computers our right
hemisphere<00:03:04.650> functions<00:03:05.220> like<00:03:05.340> a<00:03:05.400> parallel
hemisphere functions like a parallel
hemisphere functions like a parallel
processor<00:03:06.780> while<00:03:07.530> our<00:03:07.770> left<00:03:08.010> hemisphere
processor while our left hemisphere
processor while our left hemisphere
functions<00:03:09.120> like<00:03:09.270> a<00:03:09.330> serial<00:03:09.930> processor<00:03:10.680> the
functions like a serial processor the
functions like a serial processor the
two<00:03:11.880> hemispheres<00:03:12.510> do<00:03:12.810> communicate<00:03:13.560> with<00:03:13.740> one
two hemispheres do communicate with one
two hemispheres do communicate with one
another<00:03:13.980> through<00:03:14.340> the<00:03:14.670> corpus<00:03:15.060> callosum
another through the corpus callosum
another through the corpus callosum
which<00:03:15.930> is<00:03:16.260> made<00:03:16.470> up<00:03:16.650> of<00:03:16.770> some<00:03:17.120> 300<00:03:18.120> million
which is made up of some 300 million
which is made up of some 300 million
axonal<00:03:19.170> fibers<00:03:19.430> but<00:03:20.430> other<00:03:20.580> than<00:03:20.790> that<00:03:20.880> the
axonal fibers but other than that the
axonal fibers but other than that the
two<00:03:21.420> hemispheres<00:03:21.450> are<00:03:22.410> completely<00:03:23.280> separate
two hemispheres are completely separate
two hemispheres are completely separate
because<00:03:24.750> they<00:03:25.230> process<00:03:25.770> information
because they process information
because they process information
differently<00:03:26.990> each<00:03:27.990> of<00:03:28.230> our<00:03:28.380> hemisphere<00:03:28.950> think
differently each of our hemisphere think
differently each of our hemisphere think
about<00:03:29.910> different<00:03:30.330> things<00:03:30.540> they<00:03:31.350> care<00:03:31.740> about
about different things they care about
about different things they care about
different<00:03:32.459> things<00:03:32.700> and<00:03:33.120> dare<00:03:33.600> I<00:03:33.630> say<00:03:34.040> they
different things and dare I say they
different things and dare I say they
have<00:03:35.250> very<00:03:35.490> different<00:03:35.790> personalities<00:03:39.739> excuse
have very different personalities excuse
have very different personalities excuse
me<00:03:40.950> thank<00:03:41.760> you<00:03:42.260> it's<00:03:43.260> been<00:03:43.440> a<00:03:43.500> joy
our<00:03:48.650> right<00:03:49.010> human<00:03:49.400> hemisphere<00:03:50.060> is<00:03:50.360> all<00:03:51.080> about
our right human hemisphere is all about
our right human hemisphere is all about
this<00:03:51.920> present<00:03:52.700> moment<00:03:53.150> it's<00:03:53.570> all<00:03:53.780> about<00:03:54.080> right
this present moment it's all about right
this present moment it's all about right
here<00:03:55.370> right<00:03:55.580> now<00:03:56.360> our<00:03:57.290> right<00:03:57.590> hemisphere<00:03:58.190> it
here right now our right hemisphere it
here right now our right hemisphere it
thinks<00:03:58.700> in<00:03:58.820> pictures<00:03:59.090> and<00:03:59.720> it<00:04:00.290> learns
thinks in pictures and it learns
thinks in pictures and it learns
kinesthetically<00:04:01.060> through<00:04:02.060> the<00:04:02.210> movement<00:04:02.840> of
kinesthetically through the movement of
kinesthetically through the movement of
our<00:04:03.260> bodies<00:04:04.720> information<00:04:05.720> in<00:04:05.990> the<00:04:06.110> form<00:04:06.410> of
our bodies information in the form of
our bodies information in the form of
energy<00:04:06.860> streams<00:04:07.480> in<00:04:08.480> simultaneously<00:04:09.100> through
energy streams in simultaneously through
energy streams in simultaneously through
all<00:04:10.310> of<00:04:10.340> our<00:04:10.640> sensory<00:04:10.700> systems<00:04:11.240> and<00:04:12.050> then<00:04:12.470> it
all of our sensory systems and then it
all of our sensory systems and then it
explodes<00:04:12.650> into<00:04:13.640> this<00:04:13.790> enormous<00:04:14.150> collage<00:04:15.080> of
explodes into this enormous collage of
explodes into this enormous collage of
what<00:04:15.800> this<00:04:16.040> present<00:04:16.250> moment<00:04:17.150> looks<00:04:17.209> like<00:04:17.690> what
what this present moment looks like what
what this present moment looks like what
this<00:04:18.770> present<00:04:19.610> moment<00:04:19.640> smells<00:04:20.360> like<00:04:20.690> and
this present moment smells like and
this present moment smells like and
tastes<00:04:21.350> like<00:04:21.680> what<00:04:22.460> it<00:04:22.490> feels<00:04:22.910> like<00:04:23.210> and<00:04:23.780> what
tastes like what it feels like and what
tastes like what it feels like and what
it<00:04:24.590> sounds<00:04:24.920> like<00:04:25.280> I<00:04:25.990> am<00:04:26.990> an<00:04:27.140> energy<00:04:27.680> being
it sounds like I am an energy being
it sounds like I am an energy being
connected<00:04:29.330> to<00:04:29.900> the<00:04:30.290> energy<00:04:30.590> all<00:04:30.950> around<00:04:31.430> me
connected to the energy all around me
connected to the energy all around me
through<00:04:32.150> the<00:04:32.240> consciousness<00:04:32.960> of<00:04:33.110> my<00:04:33.590> right
through the consciousness of my right
through the consciousness of my right
hemisphere<00:04:34.840> we<00:04:35.840> are<00:04:36.290> energy<00:04:36.980> beings
hemisphere we are energy beings
hemisphere we are energy beings
connected<00:04:38.450> to<00:04:38.780> one<00:04:38.930> another<00:04:39.290> through<00:04:39.560> the
connected to one another through the
connected to one another through the
consciousness<00:04:40.370> of<00:04:40.520> our<00:04:40.640> right<00:04:40.880> hemispheres
consciousness of our right hemispheres
consciousness of our right hemispheres
as<00:04:41.870> one<00:04:42.470> human<00:04:43.250> family<00:04:43.670> and<00:04:44.320> right<00:04:45.320> here<00:04:45.770> right
as one human family and right here right
as one human family and right here right
now<00:04:46.580> we<00:04:47.270> are<00:04:47.390> brothers<00:04:47.780> and<00:04:47.810> sisters<00:04:48.380> on<00:04:48.590> this
now we are brothers and sisters on this
now we are brothers and sisters on this
planet<00:04:49.310> here<00:04:49.790> to<00:04:49.910> make<00:04:50.090> the<00:04:50.240> world<00:04:50.420> a<00:04:50.630> better
planet here to make the world a better
planet here to make the world a better
place<00:04:50.900> and<00:04:51.590> in<00:04:52.340> this<00:04:52.550> moment<00:04:52.940> we<00:04:53.600> are<00:04:53.630> perfect
place and in this moment we are perfect
place and in this moment we are perfect
we<00:04:55.190> are<00:04:55.220> whole<00:04:55.340> and<00:04:56.000> we<00:04:56.720> are<00:04:56.750> beautiful<00:04:58.660> my
we are whole and we are beautiful my
we are whole and we are beautiful my
left<00:04:59.900> hemisphere<00:05:00.140> our<00:05:00.920> left<00:05:01.280> hemisphere<00:05:01.460> is<00:05:02.150> a
left hemisphere our left hemisphere is a
left hemisphere our left hemisphere is a
very<00:05:02.780> different<00:05:03.050> place<00:05:03.370> our<00:05:04.370> left<00:05:04.730> hemisphere
very different place our left hemisphere
very different place our left hemisphere
thinks<00:05:05.690> linearly<00:05:06.230> and<00:05:06.800> methodically<00:05:08.320> our
thinks linearly and methodically our
thinks linearly and methodically our
left<00:05:09.620> hemisphere<00:05:09.770> is<00:05:10.340> all<00:05:10.490> about<00:05:10.760> the<00:05:10.880> past
left hemisphere is all about the past
left hemisphere is all about the past
and<00:05:11.540> it's<00:05:12.380> all<00:05:12.560> about<00:05:12.800> the<00:05:13.370> future<00:05:13.880> our<00:05:14.660> left
and it's all about the future our left
and it's all about the future our left
hemisphere<00:05:15.170> is<00:05:15.740> designed<00:05:16.250> to<00:05:16.550> take<00:05:16.730> that
hemisphere is designed to take that
hemisphere is designed to take that
enormous<00:05:17.120> collage<00:05:18.080> of<00:05:18.110> the<00:05:18.560> present<00:05:18.980> moment
enormous collage of the present moment
enormous collage of the present moment
and<00:05:19.670> start<00:05:20.270> picking<00:05:20.450> out<00:05:20.720> details<00:05:21.380> details
and start picking out details details
and start picking out details details
and<00:05:22.490> more<00:05:22.640> details<00:05:22.700> about<00:05:23.360> those<00:05:23.720> details<00:05:24.290> it
and more details about those details it
and more details about those details it
then<00:05:25.540> categorizes<00:05:26.540> and<00:05:26.690> organizes<00:05:26.840> all<00:05:27.620> that
then categorizes and organizes all that
then categorizes and organizes all that
information<00:05:29.230> associates<00:05:30.230> it<00:05:30.500> with
information associates it with
information associates it with
everything<00:05:30.950> in<00:05:31.220> the<00:05:31.310> past<00:05:31.520> we've<00:05:31.850> ever
everything in the past we've ever
everything in the past we've ever
learned<00:05:32.360> and<00:05:32.780> projects<00:05:33.740> into<00:05:34.010> the<00:05:34.040> future<00:05:34.160> all
learned and projects into the future all
learned and projects into the future all
of<00:05:34.940> our<00:05:35.420> possibilities<00:05:36.380> and<00:05:36.790> our<00:05:37.790> left
of our possibilities and our left
of our possibilities and our left
hemisphere<00:05:38.590> thinks<00:05:39.590> in<00:05:39.770> language<00:05:40.520> it's<00:05:41.240> that
hemisphere thinks in language it's that
hemisphere thinks in language it's that
ongoing<00:05:41.900> brain<00:05:42.800> chatter<00:05:43.130> that<00:05:43.520> connects<00:05:43.970> me
ongoing brain chatter that connects me
ongoing brain chatter that connects me
in<00:05:44.510> my<00:05:44.840> internal<00:05:45.530> world<00:05:45.560> to<00:05:46.520> my<00:05:46.700> external
in my internal world to my external
in my internal world to my external
world<00:05:47.600> it's<00:05:48.470> that<00:05:48.740> little<00:05:48.920> voice<00:05:49.040> that<00:05:49.640> says
world it's that little voice that says
world it's that little voice that says
to<00:05:50.120> me<00:05:50.260> hey<00:05:51.260> you<00:05:51.590> got<00:05:52.010> to<00:05:52.100> remember<00:05:52.370> to<00:05:52.730> pick<00:05:53.000> up
to me hey you got to remember to pick up
to me hey you got to remember to pick up
a<00:05:53.240> Nana's<00:05:53.570> on<00:05:53.660> your<00:05:53.840> way<00:05:53.960> home<00:05:54.170> I<00:05:54.500> need<00:05:55.070> them<00:05:55.370> in
a Nana's on your way home I need them in
a Nana's on your way home I need them in
the<00:05:55.550> morning
the morning
the morning
it's<00:05:56.330> that<00:05:56.570> calculating<00:05:57.350> intelligence<00:05:57.710> that
it's that calculating intelligence that
it's that calculating intelligence that
knows<00:05:58.910> that
knows that
knows that
reminds<00:05:59.740> me<00:05:59.890> when<00:06:00.130> I<00:06:00.160> have<00:06:00.430> to<00:06:00.550> do<00:06:00.670> my<00:06:00.790> laundry
reminds me when I have to do my laundry
reminds me when I have to do my laundry
but<00:06:02.200> perhaps<00:06:02.410> most<00:06:02.830> important<00:06:03.580> it's<00:06:04.090> a<00:06:04.300> little
but perhaps most important it's a little
but perhaps most important it's a little
voice<00:06:04.870> that<00:06:04.900> says<00:06:05.200> to<00:06:05.710> me<00:06:05.890> I<00:06:06.510> am<00:06:07.510> I<00:06:08.460> am<00:06:09.840> and<00:06:10.840> as
voice that says to me I am I am and as
voice that says to me I am I am and as
soon<00:06:11.260> as<00:06:11.410> my<00:06:11.590> left<00:06:11.830> hemisphere<00:06:12.070> says<00:06:12.730> to<00:06:12.910> me<00:06:13.090> I
soon as my left hemisphere says to me I
soon as my left hemisphere says to me I
am<00:06:13.780> I<00:06:14.350> become<00:06:15.220> separate<00:06:16.150> I<00:06:16.300> become<00:06:16.690> a<00:06:16.720> single
am I become separate I become a single
am I become separate I become a single
solid<00:06:17.830> individual<00:06:18.400> separate<00:06:18.880> from<00:06:19.120> the
solid individual separate from the
solid individual separate from the
energy<00:06:19.660> flow<00:06:19.900> around<00:06:20.290> me<00:06:20.620> and<00:06:20.860> separate<00:06:21.670> from
energy flow around me and separate from
energy flow around me and separate from
you<00:06:22.090> and<00:06:22.390> this<00:06:23.230> is<00:06:23.410> a<00:06:23.440> portion<00:06:23.920> of<00:06:24.010> my<00:06:24.190> brain
you and this is a portion of my brain
you and this is a portion of my brain
that<00:06:24.760> I<00:06:24.880> lost<00:06:25.180> on<00:06:25.540> the<00:06:26.020> morning<00:06:26.410> of<00:06:26.590> my<00:06:26.890> stroke
that I lost on the morning of my stroke
that I lost on the morning of my stroke
on<00:06:28.030> the<00:06:28.150> morning<00:06:28.450> of<00:06:28.570> the<00:06:28.600> stroke<00:06:29.020> I<00:06:30.150> woke<00:06:31.150> up
on the morning of the stroke I woke up
on the morning of the stroke I woke up
to<00:06:31.630> a<00:06:31.660> pounding<00:06:32.200> pain<00:06:32.530> behind<00:06:33.460> my<00:06:33.580> left<00:06:33.850> eye
to a pounding pain behind my left eye
to a pounding pain behind my left eye
and<00:06:34.419> it<00:06:35.350> was<00:06:35.470> the<00:06:35.650> kind<00:06:35.890> of<00:06:36.100> pain<00:06:36.430> caustic<00:06:37.300> pain
and it was the kind of pain caustic pain
and it was the kind of pain caustic pain
that<00:06:37.810> you<00:06:37.870> get<00:06:38.020> when<00:06:38.140> you<00:06:38.230> bite<00:06:38.410> into<00:06:38.620> ice
that you get when you bite into ice
that you get when you bite into ice
cream<00:06:39.190> and<00:06:39.550> it<00:06:40.240> just<00:06:40.480> gripped<00:06:40.960> me<00:06:41.230> and<00:06:41.530> then<00:06:42.160> it
cream and it just gripped me and then it
cream and it just gripped me and then it
released<00:06:42.910> me<00:06:43.090> and<00:06:43.450> then<00:06:44.320> it<00:06:44.440> just<00:06:44.650> gripped<00:06:45.280> me
released me and then it just gripped me
released me and then it just gripped me
and<00:06:45.910> then<00:06:46.480> it<00:06:46.570> released<00:06:46.930> me<00:06:47.080> and<00:06:48.070> it<00:06:48.130> was<00:06:48.250> very
and then it released me and it was very
and then it released me and it was very
unusual<00:06:48.669> for<00:06:49.090> me<00:06:49.390> to<00:06:49.419> ever<00:06:49.660> experience<00:06:50.380> any
unusual for me to ever experience any
unusual for me to ever experience any
kind<00:06:50.620> of<00:06:50.919> pain<00:06:51.280> so<00:06:52.000> I<00:06:52.030> thought<00:06:52.330> okay<00:06:52.600> I'll<00:06:52.690> just
kind of pain so I thought okay I'll just
kind of pain so I thought okay I'll just
start<00:06:53.140> my<00:06:53.260> normal<00:06:53.590> routine<00:06:53.980> so<00:06:54.970> I<00:06:55.000> got<00:06:55.240> up<00:06:55.480> and
start my normal routine so I got up and
start my normal routine so I got up and
I<00:06:55.690> jumped<00:06:56.020> onto<00:06:56.140> my<00:06:56.380> cardia<00:06:56.860> glider<00:06:57.190> which<00:06:57.430> is
I jumped onto my cardia glider which is
I jumped onto my cardia glider which is
a<00:06:57.640> full<00:06:58.210> body<00:06:58.510> full<00:06:58.900> exercise<00:06:59.530> machine<00:07:00.660> and
a full body full exercise machine and
a full body full exercise machine and
I'm<00:07:01.810> jamming<00:07:02.200> away<00:07:02.380> on<00:07:02.560> this<00:07:02.710> thing<00:07:02.770> and<00:07:03.370> I'm
I'm jamming away on this thing and I'm
I'm jamming away on this thing and I'm
realizing<00:07:04.810> that<00:07:05.050> my<00:07:05.350> hands<00:07:06.040> look<00:07:06.700> like
realizing that my hands look like
realizing that my hands look like
primitive<00:07:07.300> claws<00:07:08.130> grasping<00:07:09.130> onto<00:07:09.580> the<00:07:09.970> bar
primitive claws grasping onto the bar
primitive claws grasping onto the bar
and<00:07:11.260> I<00:07:11.350> thought<00:07:11.500> that's<00:07:11.710> very<00:07:11.770> peculiar<00:07:12.669> and<00:07:12.700> I
and I thought that's very peculiar and I
and I thought that's very peculiar and I
looked<00:07:13.030> down<00:07:13.180> at<00:07:13.360> my<00:07:13.390> body<00:07:13.540> and<00:07:14.169> I<00:07:14.680> thought
looked down at my body and I thought
looked down at my body and I thought
whoa<00:07:15.160> I'm<00:07:15.550> a<00:07:15.669> weird-looking<00:07:16.510> thing<00:07:17.040> and<00:07:18.040> it
whoa I'm a weird-looking thing and it
whoa I'm a weird-looking thing and it
was<00:07:18.520> as<00:07:18.700> though<00:07:18.729> my<00:07:18.910> consciousness<00:07:19.660> had
was as though my consciousness had
was as though my consciousness had
shifted<00:07:20.500> away<00:07:20.650> from<00:07:20.800> my<00:07:21.250> normal<00:07:21.520> perception
shifted away from my normal perception
shifted away from my normal perception
of<00:07:22.390> reality<00:07:22.600> where<00:07:23.560> I'm<00:07:23.710> the<00:07:23.740> person<00:07:24.430> on<00:07:24.640> the
of reality where I'm the person on the
of reality where I'm the person on the
machine<00:07:25.180> having<00:07:25.600> the<00:07:25.720> experience<00:07:26.380> to<00:07:26.919> some
machine having the experience to some
machine having the experience to some
esoteric<00:07:27.520> space<00:07:28.210> where<00:07:28.540> I'm<00:07:28.690> witnessing
esoteric space where I'm witnessing
esoteric space where I'm witnessing
myself<00:07:29.740> having<00:07:30.310> this<00:07:30.430> experience<00:07:31.320> there<00:07:32.320> was
myself having this experience there was
myself having this experience there was
all<00:07:32.590> very<00:07:32.710> peculiar<00:07:33.340> and<00:07:33.490> my<00:07:33.580> headache<00:07:33.880> was
all very peculiar and my headache was
all very peculiar and my headache was
just<00:07:34.270> getting<00:07:34.540> worse<00:07:34.690> so<00:07:34.930> I<00:07:34.960> get<00:07:35.169> off<00:07:35.290> the
just getting worse so I get off the
just getting worse so I get off the
machine<00:07:35.560> and<00:07:36.430> I'm<00:07:36.729> walking<00:07:36.910> across<00:07:37.390> my<00:07:37.780> living
machine and I'm walking across my living
machine and I'm walking across my living
room<00:07:38.320> floor<00:07:38.530> and<00:07:38.650> I<00:07:38.860> realized<00:07:39.280> that
room floor and I realized that
room floor and I realized that
everything<00:07:40.300> inside<00:07:40.450> of<00:07:40.750> my<00:07:40.900> body<00:07:41.110> has<00:07:41.500> slowed
everything inside of my body has slowed
everything inside of my body has slowed
way<00:07:42.700> down<00:07:42.729> and<00:07:43.690> every<00:07:44.410> step<00:07:44.770> is<00:07:45.010> very<00:07:45.220> rigid
way down and every step is very rigid
way down and every step is very rigid
and<00:07:46.060> very<00:07:46.350> deliberate<00:07:47.350> there's<00:07:47.620> no<00:07:47.740> fluidity
and very deliberate there's no fluidity
and very deliberate there's no fluidity
to<00:07:49.060> my<00:07:49.210> pace<00:07:49.540> and<00:07:49.570> there's<00:07:50.020> this<00:07:50.530> constriction
to my pace and there's this constriction
to my pace and there's this constriction
in<00:07:51.460> my<00:07:51.669> area<00:07:52.000> of<00:07:52.090> perception<00:07:52.810> so<00:07:53.020> I'm<00:07:53.290> just
in my area of perception so I'm just
in my area of perception so I'm just
focused<00:07:54.220> on<00:07:54.400> internal<00:07:55.090> systems<00:07:55.630> and<00:07:56.140> I'm
focused on internal systems and I'm
focused on internal systems and I'm
standing<00:07:56.830> in<00:07:57.130> my<00:07:57.160> bathroom<00:07:57.430> getting<00:07:57.910> ready<00:07:58.030> to
standing in my bathroom getting ready to
standing in my bathroom getting ready to
step<00:07:58.600> into<00:07:58.750> the<00:07:58.960> shower<00:07:59.229> and<00:07:59.530> I<00:07:59.800> could
step into the shower and I could
step into the shower and I could
actually<00:08:00.190> hear<00:08:00.729> the<00:08:00.880> dialogue<00:08:01.450> inside<00:08:01.990> of<00:08:02.140> my
actually hear the dialogue inside of my
actually hear the dialogue inside of my
body<00:08:02.530> I<00:08:02.680> heard<00:08:02.950> a<00:08:03.010> little<00:08:03.100> voice<00:08:03.250> saying<00:08:03.760> okay
body I heard a little voice saying okay
body I heard a little voice saying okay
you<00:08:04.540> muscles<00:08:05.200> you<00:08:05.380> got<00:08:05.530> a<00:08:05.560> contract<00:08:06.070> and<00:08:06.250> you
you muscles you got a contract and you
you muscles you got a contract and you
muscles<00:08:06.820> you<00:08:06.940> relaxed<00:08:07.270> and<00:08:07.570> now<00:08:07.930> I<00:08:07.960> lost<00:08:08.260> my
muscles you relaxed and now I lost my
muscles you relaxed and now I lost my
balance
balance
balance
propped<00:08:09.770> up<00:08:09.980> against<00:08:10.370> the<00:08:10.520> the<00:08:10.850> wall<00:08:11.060> and<00:08:11.570> I
propped up against the the wall and I
propped up against the the wall and I
look<00:08:12.350> down<00:08:12.560> at<00:08:12.710> my<00:08:12.860> arm<00:08:12.890> and<00:08:13.790> I<00:08:14.090> realized<00:08:14.510> that
look down at my arm and I realized that
look down at my arm and I realized that
I<00:08:14.990> can<00:08:15.170> no<00:08:15.320> longer<00:08:15.580> define<00:08:16.580> the<00:08:16.880> boundaries<00:08:17.480> of
I can no longer define the boundaries of
I can no longer define the boundaries of
my<00:08:18.470> body<00:08:18.830> I<00:08:19.250> can't<00:08:19.970> define<00:08:20.420> where<00:08:20.810> I<00:08:20.840> begin<00:08:21.380> and
my body I can't define where I begin and
my body I can't define where I begin and
where<00:08:22.220> I<00:08:22.250> end<00:08:22.430> because<00:08:23.420> the<00:08:23.600> atoms<00:08:23.990> and<00:08:24.170> the
where I end because the atoms and the
where I end because the atoms and the
molecules<00:08:24.290> of<00:08:25.070> my<00:08:25.250> arm<00:08:25.430> blended<00:08:26.270> with<00:08:26.750> the
molecules of my arm blended with the
molecules of my arm blended with the
atoms<00:08:27.260> and<00:08:27.440> molecules<00:08:27.500> of<00:08:28.340> the<00:08:28.490> wall<00:08:28.670> and<00:08:29.600> all
atoms and molecules of the wall and all
atoms and molecules of the wall and all
I<00:08:29.780> could<00:08:30.080> detect<00:08:30.440> was<00:08:30.710> this<00:08:30.920> energy<00:08:31.730> energy
I could detect was this energy energy
I could detect was this energy energy
and<00:08:33.260> I'm<00:08:33.710> asking<00:08:34.130> myself<00:08:34.310> what<00:08:34.789> is<00:08:34.940> wrong<00:08:35.330> with
and I'm asking myself what is wrong with
and I'm asking myself what is wrong with
me<00:08:35.780> what<00:08:35.810> is<00:08:36.080> going<00:08:36.380> on<00:08:36.680> and<00:08:37.099> in<00:08:37.580> that<00:08:37.729> moment
me what is going on and in that moment
me what is going on and in that moment
my<00:08:38.570> brain<00:08:38.960> shattered<00:08:39.500> my<00:08:39.620> left<00:08:39.830> hemisphere
my brain shattered my left hemisphere
my brain shattered my left hemisphere
brain<00:08:40.550> chatter<00:08:40.789> went<00:08:41.330> totally<00:08:41.630> silent<00:08:42.310> just
brain chatter went totally silent just
brain chatter went totally silent just
like<00:08:43.490> someone<00:08:43.669> took<00:08:43.910> a<00:08:43.970> remote<00:08:44.360> control<00:08:44.870> and
like someone took a remote control and
like someone took a remote control and
pushed<00:08:45.680> the<00:08:45.860> mute<00:08:46.100> button<00:08:46.420> total<00:08:47.420> silence<00:08:47.780> and
pushed the mute button total silence and
pushed the mute button total silence and
at<00:08:49.160> first<00:08:49.340> I<00:08:49.520> was<00:08:49.670> shocked<00:08:50.000> to<00:08:50.270> find<00:08:50.300> myself
at first I was shocked to find myself
at first I was shocked to find myself
inside<00:08:51.170> of<00:08:51.800> a<00:08:51.950> silent<00:08:52.520> mind<00:08:52.790> but<00:08:53.780> then<00:08:53.900> I<00:08:54.020> was
inside of a silent mind but then I was
inside of a silent mind but then I was
immediately<00:08:54.950> captivated<00:08:56.020> by<00:08:57.020> the
immediately captivated by the
immediately captivated by the
magnificence<00:08:57.980> of<00:08:58.160> the<00:08:58.340> energy<00:08:58.970> around<00:08:59.810> me<00:09:00.230> and
magnificence of the energy around me and
magnificence of the energy around me and
because<00:09:01.220> I<00:09:01.340> could<00:09:01.520> no<00:09:01.670> longer<00:09:02.270> identify<00:09:02.930> the
because I could no longer identify the
because I could no longer identify the
boundaries<00:09:03.590> of<00:09:03.650> my<00:09:03.830> body<00:09:04.250> I<00:09:04.460> felt<00:09:05.020> enormous
boundaries of my body I felt enormous
boundaries of my body I felt enormous
and<00:09:06.290> expansive<00:09:07.280> I<00:09:08.120> felt<00:09:08.570> at<00:09:08.690> one<00:09:09.020> with<00:09:09.440> all<00:09:09.470> the
and expansive I felt at one with all the
and expansive I felt at one with all the
energy<00:09:10.040> that<00:09:10.550> was<00:09:10.790> and<00:09:11.120> it<00:09:11.180> was<00:09:11.530> beautiful
energy that was and it was beautiful
energy that was and it was beautiful
there<00:09:12.880> and<00:09:13.880> then<00:09:13.970> all<00:09:14.090> of<00:09:14.120> a<00:09:14.240> sudden<00:09:14.270> my<00:09:14.660> left
there and then all of a sudden my left
there and then all of a sudden my left
hemisphere<00:09:14.990> comes<00:09:15.530> back<00:09:15.740> online<00:09:15.950> and<00:09:16.400> it<00:09:16.520> says
hemisphere comes back online and it says
hemisphere comes back online and it says
to<00:09:16.910> me<00:09:17.060> hey<00:09:17.300> we<00:09:17.840> had<00:09:17.990> a<00:09:18.020> problem<00:09:18.290> we<00:09:18.680> got<00:09:18.800> a
to me hey we had a problem we got a
to me hey we had a problem we got a
problem<00:09:19.160> we<00:09:19.610> gotta<00:09:19.790> get<00:09:19.910> some<00:09:20.060> help<00:09:20.210> but<00:09:20.510> I'm
problem we gotta get some help but I'm
problem we gotta get some help but I'm
going<00:09:20.840> oh<00:09:21.020> I<00:09:21.380> got<00:09:21.800> a<00:09:21.830> problem<00:09:22.100> I<00:09:22.370> got<00:09:22.490> a<00:09:22.550> problem
going oh I got a problem I got a problem
going oh I got a problem I got a problem
so<00:09:23.240> it's<00:09:23.870> like<00:09:24.050> okay
so it's like okay
so it's like okay
okay<00:09:24.860> I<00:09:24.890> got<00:09:25.250> a<00:09:25.280> problem<00:09:25.430> but<00:09:25.820> then<00:09:25.940> I
okay I got a problem but then I
okay I got a problem but then I
immediately<00:09:26.650> drifted<00:09:27.650> right<00:09:27.680> back<00:09:28.130> out<00:09:28.430> into
immediately drifted right back out into
immediately drifted right back out into
the<00:09:29.330> consciousness<00:09:30.140> and<00:09:30.350> I<00:09:30.770> fictionally
the consciousness and I fictionally
the consciousness and I fictionally
refer<00:09:32.030> to<00:09:32.150> this<00:09:32.330> space<00:09:32.600> as<00:09:32.900> lala<00:09:33.680> land<00:09:34.210> but<00:09:35.210> it
refer to this space as lala land but it
refer to this space as lala land but it
was<00:09:35.480> beautiful<00:09:36.170> there<00:09:36.350> imagine<00:09:37.310> what<00:09:37.460> it
was beautiful there imagine what it
was beautiful there imagine what it
would<00:09:37.670> be<00:09:37.700> like<00:09:38.060> to<00:09:38.240> be<00:09:38.360> totally<00:09:38.870> disconnected
would be like to be totally disconnected
would be like to be totally disconnected
from<00:09:39.710> your<00:09:39.980> brain<00:09:40.250> chatter<00:09:40.550> that<00:09:41.120> connects
from your brain chatter that connects
from your brain chatter that connects
you<00:09:41.690> to<00:09:41.720> the<00:09:41.990> external<00:09:42.020> world<00:09:42.770> so<00:09:43.430> here<00:09:43.730> I<00:09:43.760> am
you to the external world so here I am
you to the external world so here I am
in<00:09:44.030> this<00:09:44.330> space<00:09:44.720> and<00:09:45.020> my<00:09:45.350> job<00:09:45.680> and<00:09:46.100> any<00:09:46.220> stress
in this space and my job and any stress
in this space and my job and any stress
related<00:09:47.210> to<00:09:47.330> mice<00:09:47.510> my<00:09:47.810> job<00:09:48.110> it<00:09:48.320> was<00:09:48.440> gone<00:09:48.770> and<00:09:49.430> I
related to mice my job it was gone and I
related to mice my job it was gone and I
felt<00:09:49.790> lighter<00:09:50.510> in<00:09:51.110> my<00:09:51.440> body<00:09:52.090> and<00:09:53.090> imagine<00:09:53.750> all
felt lighter in my body and imagine all
felt lighter in my body and imagine all
of<00:09:54.020> the<00:09:54.320> relationships<00:09:54.920> in<00:09:55.310> the<00:09:55.370> external
of the relationships in the external
of the relationships in the external
world<00:09:56.150> and<00:09:56.450> any<00:09:56.570> stressors<00:09:57.110> related<00:09:57.680> to<00:09:57.800> any
world and any stressors related to any
world and any stressors related to any
of<00:09:57.980> those<00:09:58.220> they<00:09:58.430> were<00:09:58.490> gone<00:09:58.820> and<00:09:59.810> I<00:09:59.900> felt<00:10:00.140> this
of those they were gone and I felt this
of those they were gone and I felt this
sense<00:10:00.560> of<00:10:00.740> peacefulness<00:10:02.710> and<00:10:03.710> imagine<00:10:04.130> what
sense of peacefulness and imagine what
sense of peacefulness and imagine what
it<00:10:04.310> would<00:10:04.490> feel<00:10:04.520> like<00:10:04.760> to<00:10:05.180> lose<00:10:06.040> 37<00:10:07.040> years<00:10:07.430> of
it would feel like to lose 37 years of
it would feel like to lose 37 years of
emotional<00:10:08.420> baggage
emotional baggage
emotional baggage
oh<00:10:10.350> I<00:10:11.760> felt<00:10:12.990> euphoria<00:10:14.370> euphoria<00:10:16.230> it<00:10:17.230> was
oh I felt euphoria euphoria it was
oh I felt euphoria euphoria it was
beautiful<00:10:18.070> there<00:10:18.190> and<00:10:18.310> then<00:10:18.399> again<00:10:18.610> my<00:10:18.790> left
beautiful there and then again my left
beautiful there and then again my left
hemisphere<00:10:19.120> comes<00:10:19.660> online<00:10:20.110> and<00:10:20.350> it<00:10:20.440> says<00:10:20.589> hey
hemisphere comes online and it says hey
hemisphere comes online and it says hey
you've<00:10:21.160> got<00:10:21.490> to<00:10:21.519> pay<00:10:21.880> attention<00:10:21.930> we've<00:10:22.930> got<00:10:23.199> to
you've got to pay attention we've got to
you've got to pay attention we've got to
get<00:10:23.560> help<00:10:23.800> and<00:10:23.980> I'm<00:10:24.070> thinking<00:10:24.310> I've<00:10:24.430> got<00:10:24.550> to
get help and I'm thinking I've got to
get help and I'm thinking I've got to
get<00:10:24.820> help<00:10:25.060> I<00:10:25.180> gotta<00:10:25.329> focus<00:10:25.570> so<00:10:26.290> I<00:10:26.320> get<00:10:26.500> out<00:10:26.649> of
get help I gotta focus so I get out of
get help I gotta focus so I get out of
the<00:10:26.829> shower<00:10:27.070> and<00:10:27.250> I<00:10:27.639> mechanically<00:10:28.360> dress<00:10:28.660> and
the shower and I mechanically dress and
the shower and I mechanically dress and
I'm<00:10:28.930> walking<00:10:29.079> around<00:10:29.290> my<00:10:29.589> apartment<00:10:29.680> and<00:10:30.550> I'm
I'm walking around my apartment and I'm
I'm walking around my apartment and I'm
thinking<00:10:30.940> I<00:10:31.000> got<00:10:31.029> to<00:10:31.240> get<00:10:31.300> to<00:10:31.360> work<00:10:31.600> I<00:10:31.750> got<00:10:31.930> to
thinking I got to get to work I got to
thinking I got to get to work I got to
get<00:10:32.079> to<00:10:32.139> work
get to work
get to work
can<00:10:33.250> I<00:10:33.399> Drive<00:10:33.699> can<00:10:34.600> I<00:10:34.720> Drive<00:10:35.050> and<00:10:35.470> in<00:10:35.680> that
can I Drive can I Drive and in that
can I Drive can I Drive and in that
moment<00:10:36.040> my<00:10:36.310> right<00:10:36.579> arm<00:10:36.820> went<00:10:37.000> totally
moment my right arm went totally
moment my right arm went totally
paralyzed<00:10:37.779> by<00:10:37.959> my<00:10:38.139> side<00:10:38.410> did<00:10:39.100> I<00:10:39.220> realize<00:10:39.699> oh<00:10:39.880> my
paralyzed by my side did I realize oh my
paralyzed by my side did I realize oh my
gosh<00:10:40.420> am<00:10:40.959> I<00:10:41.019> having<00:10:41.260> a<00:10:41.320> stroke
gosh am I having a stroke
gosh am I having a stroke
I'm<00:10:42.160> having<00:10:42.399> a<00:10:42.490> stroke<00:10:42.790> and<00:10:43.449> then<00:10:43.540> the<00:10:43.690> next
I'm having a stroke and then the next
I'm having a stroke and then the next
thing<00:10:44.110> my<00:10:44.260> brain<00:10:44.529> says<00:10:44.829> to<00:10:44.949> me<00:10:45.100> is<00:10:45.250> wow<00:10:46.199> this<00:10:47.199> is
thing my brain says to me is wow this is
thing my brain says to me is wow this is
so<00:10:47.560> cool
so cool
so cool
this<00:10:50.079> is<00:10:50.260> so<00:10:50.470> cool<00:10:51.029> how<00:10:52.029> many<00:10:52.300> brain
this is so cool how many brain
this is so cool how many brain
scientists<00:10:53.709> have<00:10:53.829> the<00:10:53.949> opportunity<00:10:54.699> to<00:10:54.850> study
scientists have the opportunity to study
scientists have the opportunity to study
their<00:10:55.420> own<00:10:55.540> brain<00:10:55.899> from<00:10:56.199> the<00:10:56.260> inside<00:10:56.709> out
their own brain from the inside out
their own brain from the inside out
and<00:10:59.540> then<00:10:59.839> it<00:10:59.990> crosses<00:11:00.260> my<00:11:00.649> mind<00:11:00.790> but<00:11:01.790> I'm<00:11:01.940> a
and then it crosses my mind but I'm a
and then it crosses my mind but I'm a
very<00:11:02.270> busy<00:11:02.480> woman
very busy woman
very busy woman
time<00:11:05.029> for<00:11:05.300> a<00:11:05.360> strong
time for a strong
time for a strong
it's<00:11:06.800> like<00:11:06.950> okay<00:11:07.339> I<00:11:07.610> can't<00:11:07.880> stop<00:11:08.149> the<00:11:08.300> stroke
it's like okay I can't stop the stroke
it's like okay I can't stop the stroke
from<00:11:08.690> happening<00:11:08.779> so<00:11:09.350> I'll<00:11:09.470> do<00:11:09.649> this<00:11:09.860> for<00:11:10.670> a
from happening so I'll do this for a
from happening so I'll do this for a
week<00:11:10.880> or<00:11:11.060> two<00:11:11.240> and<00:11:11.720> then<00:11:11.870> I'll<00:11:12.020> get<00:11:12.170> back<00:11:12.350> to<00:11:12.380> my
week or two and then I'll get back to my
week or two and then I'll get back to my
routine<00:11:12.920> okay<00:11:13.160> so<00:11:13.760> I<00:11:13.820> got<00:11:13.970> a<00:11:14.000> call<00:11:14.180> help<00:11:14.480> I<00:11:14.570> got
routine okay so I got a call help I got
routine okay so I got a call help I got
a<00:11:14.750> call<00:11:14.990> work<00:11:15.200> I<00:11:15.410> couldn't<00:11:15.709> remember<00:11:15.980> the
a call work I couldn't remember the
a call work I couldn't remember the
number<00:11:16.459> at<00:11:16.550> work<00:11:16.670> so<00:11:17.000> I<00:11:17.029> remembered<00:11:17.690> in<00:11:18.170> my
number at work so I remembered in my
number at work so I remembered in my
office<00:11:18.709> I<00:11:18.980> had<00:11:19.100> a<00:11:19.130> business<00:11:19.339> card<00:11:19.820> with<00:11:19.910> my
office I had a business card with my
office I had a business card with my
number<00:11:20.630> on<00:11:20.750> him<00:11:20.930> so<00:11:21.649> I<00:11:21.709> go<00:11:21.860> into<00:11:22.010> my<00:11:22.100> business
number on him so I go into my business
number on him so I go into my business
room<00:11:22.760> I<00:11:23.000> pull<00:11:23.540> out<00:11:23.570> a<00:11:23.690> three<00:11:24.080> inch<00:11:24.260> stack<00:11:24.560> of
room I pull out a three inch stack of
room I pull out a three inch stack of
business<00:11:24.860> cards<00:11:25.100> and<00:11:25.700> I'm<00:11:26.089> looking<00:11:26.420> at<00:11:26.570> the
business cards and I'm looking at the
business cards and I'm looking at the
card<00:11:26.930> on<00:11:27.110> top<00:11:27.140> and<00:11:27.589> even<00:11:27.830> though<00:11:27.950> I<00:11:27.980> could<00:11:28.220> see
card on top and even though I could see
card on top and even though I could see
clearly<00:11:28.459> in<00:11:29.270> my<00:11:29.420> mind's<00:11:29.690> eye<00:11:30.140> what<00:11:31.040> my
clearly in my mind's eye what my
clearly in my mind's eye what my
business<00:11:31.430> card<00:11:31.940> looked<00:11:32.209> like<00:11:32.390> I<00:11:32.570> couldn't
business card looked like I couldn't
business card looked like I couldn't
tell<00:11:33.260> if<00:11:33.890> this<00:11:34.100> was<00:11:34.160> my<00:11:34.490> card<00:11:34.760> or<00:11:34.940> not<00:11:35.060> because
tell if this was my card or not because
tell if this was my card or not because
all<00:11:35.390> I<00:11:35.450> could<00:11:35.630> see<00:11:35.779> were<00:11:35.899> pixels<00:11:36.470> and<00:11:37.220> the
all I could see were pixels and the
all I could see were pixels and the
pixels<00:11:37.790> of<00:11:37.940> the<00:11:38.089> words<00:11:38.300> blended<00:11:39.140> with<00:11:39.350> the
pixels of the words blended with the
pixels of the words blended with the
pixels<00:11:39.860> of<00:11:40.040> the<00:11:40.130> background<00:11:40.730> and<00:11:40.940> the<00:11:41.029> pixels
pixels of the background and the pixels
pixels of the background and the pixels
of<00:11:42.170> the<00:11:42.380> symbols<00:11:42.890> and<00:11:43.070> I<00:11:43.160> just<00:11:43.399> couldn't<00:11:43.760> tell
of the symbols and I just couldn't tell
of the symbols and I just couldn't tell
and<00:11:44.510> then<00:11:44.930> I<00:11:44.959> would<00:11:45.200> wait<00:11:45.380> for<00:11:45.589> what<00:11:45.709> I<00:11:45.740> call<00:11:45.950> a
and then I would wait for what I call a
and then I would wait for what I call a
wave<00:11:46.279> of<00:11:46.730> clarity<00:11:47.360> and<00:11:47.600> in<00:11:48.110> that<00:11:48.290> moment<00:11:48.560> I
wave of clarity and in that moment I
wave of clarity and in that moment I
would<00:11:49.250> be<00:11:49.490> able<00:11:49.730> to<00:11:49.850> reattach<00:11:50.180> to<00:11:50.450> normal
would be able to reattach to normal
would be able to reattach to normal
reality<00:11:51.320> and<00:11:51.950> I<00:11:52.310> could<00:11:52.520> tell<00:11:52.760> that's<00:11:53.209> not<00:11:53.540> the
reality and I could tell that's not the
reality and I could tell that's not the
card<00:11:53.899> that's<00:11:54.230> not<00:11:54.380> the<00:11:54.529> card<00:11:54.709> that's<00:11:55.100> not<00:11:55.310> the
card that's not the card that's not the
card that's not the card that's not the
card<00:11:55.640> it<00:11:56.149> took<00:11:56.600> me<00:11:56.750> 45<00:11:57.320> minutes<00:11:58.310> to<00:11:58.730> get<00:11:58.880> one
card it took me 45 minutes to get one
card it took me 45 minutes to get one
inch<00:11:59.660> down<00:12:00.140> inside<00:12:00.649> of<00:12:00.800> that<00:12:00.890> stack<00:12:01.220> of<00:12:01.399> cards
inch down inside of that stack of cards
inch down inside of that stack of cards
in<00:12:01.910> the<00:12:02.270> mean<00:12:02.450> time<00:12:02.750> for<00:12:03.080> 45<00:12:03.589> minutes<00:12:04.040> the
in the mean time for 45 minutes the
in the mean time for 45 minutes the
hemorrhage<00:12:04.490> is<00:12:04.640> getting<00:12:04.910> bigger<00:12:05.150> in<00:12:05.360> my<00:12:05.480> left
hemorrhage is getting bigger in my left
hemorrhage is getting bigger in my left
hemisphere<00:12:05.930> I<00:12:06.470> do<00:12:06.709> not<00:12:07.100> understand<00:12:07.670> numbers<00:12:08.089> I
hemisphere I do not understand numbers I
hemisphere I do not understand numbers I
do<00:12:08.390> not<00:12:08.750> understand<00:12:09.260> a<00:12:09.350> telephone<00:12:09.800> but<00:12:10.040> it's
do not understand a telephone but it's
do not understand a telephone but it's
the<00:12:10.220> only<00:12:10.370> plan<00:12:10.760> I<00:12:10.820> have<00:12:11.209> so<00:12:11.690> I<00:12:11.720> take<00:12:11.990> the<00:12:12.140> foam
the only plan I have so I take the foam
the only plan I have so I take the foam
pad<00:12:12.680> and<00:12:12.950> I<00:12:13.010> put<00:12:13.220> it<00:12:13.310> right<00:12:13.339> here<00:12:13.820> I<00:12:14.029> take<00:12:14.480> the
pad and I put it right here I take the
pad and I put it right here I take the
business<00:12:15.050> card<00:12:15.290> I<00:12:15.410> put<00:12:15.589> it<00:12:15.709> right<00:12:15.740> here<00:12:15.950> and
business card I put it right here and
business card I put it right here and
I'm<00:12:16.760> matching<00:12:17.060> the<00:12:17.360> shape<00:12:17.570> of<00:12:18.260> the<00:12:18.650> squiggles
I'm matching the shape of the squiggles
I'm matching the shape of the squiggles
on<00:12:19.520> the<00:12:19.640> card<00:12:19.940> to<00:12:20.660> the<00:12:20.779> shape<00:12:21.110> of<00:12:21.350> the
on the card to the shape of the
on the card to the shape of the
squiggles<00:12:21.830> on<00:12:22.430> the<00:12:22.550> foam<00:12:22.820> pad<00:12:23.209> but<00:12:23.839> then<00:12:23.959> I
squiggles on the foam pad but then I
squiggles on the foam pad but then I
would<00:12:24.230> drift<00:12:24.470> back<00:12:24.680> out<00:12:24.860> into<00:12:25.040> lala<00:12:25.400> land<00:12:25.820> and
would drift back out into lala land and
would drift back out into lala land and
not<00:12:26.690> remember<00:12:27.260> if<00:12:27.410> when<00:12:27.620> I<00:12:27.650> come<00:12:27.770> back<00:12:28.160> and<00:12:28.370> if
not remember if when I come back and if
not remember if when I come back and if
I'd<00:12:28.580> already<00:12:28.730> dialed<00:12:29.330> those<00:12:29.510> numbers<00:12:30.020> so<00:12:30.800> I
I'd already dialed those numbers so I
I'd already dialed those numbers so I
had<00:12:31.190> to<00:12:31.310> wield<00:12:31.580> my<00:12:31.940> paralyzed<00:12:32.570> arm<00:12:33.050> like<00:12:33.200> a
had to wield my paralyzed arm like a
had to wield my paralyzed arm like a
stump<00:12:33.740> and<00:12:34.070> cover<00:12:34.790> the<00:12:35.150> numbers<00:12:35.660> as<00:12:35.990> I<00:12:36.380> went
stump and cover the numbers as I went
stump and cover the numbers as I went
along<00:12:36.890> and<00:12:36.950> pushed<00:12:37.610> them<00:12:37.910> so<00:12:38.510> that<00:12:38.720> as<00:12:38.870> I<00:12:39.050> would
along and pushed them so that as I would
along and pushed them so that as I would
come<00:12:39.440> back<00:12:39.680> to<00:12:39.740> normal<00:12:40.310> reality<00:12:40.580> I'd<00:12:41.029> be<00:12:41.180> able
come back to normal reality I'd be able
come back to normal reality I'd be able
to<00:12:41.450> tell<00:12:41.720> yes<00:12:42.320> I've<00:12:42.560> already<00:12:42.740> dialed<00:12:43.279> that
to tell yes I've already dialed that
to tell yes I've already dialed that
number<00:12:44.620> eventually<00:12:45.620> the<00:12:45.920> whole<00:12:46.070> number<00:12:46.400> gets
number eventually the whole number gets
number eventually the whole number gets
dialed<00:12:47.060> and<00:12:47.300> I'm<00:12:48.110> listening<00:12:48.709> to<00:12:48.740> the<00:12:48.920> song<00:12:49.130> and
dialed and I'm listening to the song and
dialed and I'm listening to the song and
my<00:12:49.700> colleague<00:12:50.150> picks<00:12:50.420> up<00:12:50.570> the<00:12:50.690> phone<00:12:50.870> and<00:12:51.079> he
my colleague picks up the phone and he
my colleague picks up the phone and he
says<00:12:51.470> to<00:12:51.650> me<00:12:52.390> whoa
and<00:12:58.290> I<00:12:58.380> think<00:12:58.770> that<00:12:58.980> myself<00:12:59.490> oh<00:12:59.850> my<00:13:00.510> gosh<00:13:00.930> he
and I think that myself oh my gosh he
and I think that myself oh my gosh he
sounds<00:13:01.620> like<00:13:01.650> a<00:13:01.740> golden<00:13:02.190> retriever
sounds like a golden retriever
sounds like a golden retriever
and<00:13:04.730> so<00:13:04.970> I<00:13:05.000> say<00:13:05.600> to<00:13:05.630> him<00:13:05.870> clear<00:13:06.230> in<00:13:06.410> my<00:13:06.589> mind<00:13:06.620> I
and so I say to him clear in my mind I
and so I say to him clear in my mind I
say<00:13:07.310> to<00:13:07.370> him<00:13:07.610> this<00:13:07.850> is<00:13:08.000> Jill<00:13:08.300> I<00:13:08.600> need<00:13:08.660> help
say to him this is Jill I need help
say to him this is Jill I need help
and<00:13:09.410> what<00:13:09.800> comes<00:13:09.980> out<00:13:10.190> of<00:13:10.220> my<00:13:10.519> voice<00:13:10.790> is<00:13:11.980> I
and what comes out of my voice is I
and what comes out of my voice is I
think<00:13:13.670> oh<00:13:13.790> my<00:13:14.000> gosh<00:13:14.209> I<00:13:14.509> sound<00:13:14.779> like<00:13:14.899> a<00:13:15.019> golden
think oh my gosh I sound like a golden
think oh my gosh I sound like a golden
retriever<00:13:15.500> so<00:13:16.190> I<00:13:16.220> couldn't<00:13:16.699> know<00:13:16.970> I<00:13:17.300> didn't
retriever so I couldn't know I didn't
retriever so I couldn't know I didn't
know<00:13:17.870> that<00:13:17.899> I<00:13:18.110> couldn't<00:13:18.529> speak<00:13:18.829> or<00:13:19.040> understand
know that I couldn't speak or understand
know that I couldn't speak or understand
language<00:13:19.730> until<00:13:20.449> I<00:13:20.600> tried<00:13:20.899> so<00:13:21.860> he<00:13:22.040> recognizes
language until I tried so he recognizes
language until I tried so he recognizes
that<00:13:22.850> I<00:13:22.940> need<00:13:23.120> help<00:13:23.360> and<00:13:23.509> he<00:13:23.690> and<00:13:24.110> he<00:13:24.230> gets<00:13:24.410> me
that I need help and he and he gets me
that I need help and he and he gets me
help<00:13:24.860> and<00:13:25.069> a<00:13:25.639> little<00:13:25.880> while<00:13:26.029> later<00:13:26.269> I'm<00:13:26.720> I'm
help and a little while later I'm I'm
help and a little while later I'm I'm
riding<00:13:27.920> in<00:13:28.069> an<00:13:28.190> ambulance<00:13:28.399> from<00:13:29.300> one<00:13:29.540> hospital
riding in an ambulance from one hospital
riding in an ambulance from one hospital
across<00:13:30.470> Boston<00:13:31.100> to<00:13:31.339> Mass<00:13:31.490> General<00:13:31.519> Hospital
across Boston to Mass General Hospital
across Boston to Mass General Hospital
and<00:13:33.589> I<00:13:33.680> curl<00:13:33.920> up<00:13:34.130> into<00:13:34.370> a<00:13:34.490> little<00:13:34.670> fetal<00:13:35.209> ball
and I curl up into a little fetal ball
and I curl up into a little fetal ball
and<00:13:37.060> just<00:13:38.060> like<00:13:38.269> a<00:13:38.300> balloon<00:13:38.690> with<00:13:39.529> the<00:13:39.709> last
and just like a balloon with the last
and just like a balloon with the last
last<00:13:40.670> bit<00:13:41.660> of<00:13:41.690> air<00:13:42.050> of<00:13:42.319> just<00:13:42.620> just<00:13:43.430> right<00:13:43.670> out
last bit of air of just just right out
last bit of air of just just right out
of<00:13:43.880> the<00:13:44.060> balloon<00:13:44.329> I<00:13:44.600> just<00:13:44.959> felt<00:13:45.649> my<00:13:45.829> energy
of the balloon I just felt my energy
of the balloon I just felt my energy
lift<00:13:46.670> and<00:13:47.060> just<00:13:47.720> I<00:13:47.990> felt<00:13:48.560> my<00:13:48.709> spirit<00:13:49.190> surrender
lift and just I felt my spirit surrender
lift and just I felt my spirit surrender
and<00:13:51.490> in<00:13:52.490> that<00:13:52.730> moment<00:13:52.940> I<00:13:53.300> knew<00:13:53.329> that<00:13:54.290> I<00:13:54.319> was<00:13:54.709> no
and in that moment I knew that I was no
and in that moment I knew that I was no
longer<00:13:55.160> the<00:13:55.399> choreographer<00:13:56.060> of<00:13:56.149> my<00:13:56.329> life<00:13:56.540> and
longer the choreographer of my life and
longer the choreographer of my life and
either<00:13:58.160> the<00:13:58.610> doctors<00:13:58.970> rescue<00:13:59.389> my<00:13:59.540> body<00:13:59.779> and
either the doctors rescue my body and
either the doctors rescue my body and
give<00:14:00.139> me<00:14:00.290> a<00:14:00.350> second<00:14:00.740> chance<00:14:00.920> at<00:14:01.279> life<00:14:01.519> or<00:14:01.910> this
give me a second chance at life or this
give me a second chance at life or this
was<00:14:02.329> perhaps<00:14:02.540> my<00:14:02.930> moment<00:14:03.920> of<00:14:04.069> transition<00:14:09.190> when
was perhaps my moment of transition when
was perhaps my moment of transition when
I<00:14:10.220> woke<00:14:10.579> later<00:14:11.209> that<00:14:11.449> afternoon<00:14:11.660> I<00:14:12.380> was
I woke later that afternoon I was
I woke later that afternoon I was
shocked<00:14:13.339> to<00:14:13.880> discover<00:14:14.060> that<00:14:14.569> I<00:14:14.630> was<00:14:14.930> still
shocked to discover that I was still
shocked to discover that I was still
alive<00:14:17.380> when<00:14:18.380> I<00:14:18.410> felt<00:14:18.860> my<00:14:18.980> spirit<00:14:19.040> surrender<00:14:19.519> I
alive when I felt my spirit surrender I
alive when I felt my spirit surrender I
said<00:14:20.209> goodbye<00:14:20.420> to<00:14:20.990> my<00:14:21.290> life<00:14:21.709> and<00:14:22.220> my<00:14:23.029> mind<00:14:23.300> was
said goodbye to my life and my mind was
said goodbye to my life and my mind was
now<00:14:23.779> suspended<00:14:24.500> between<00:14:24.709> two<00:14:25.040> very<00:14:25.910> opposite
now suspended between two very opposite
now suspended between two very opposite
planes<00:14:27.110> of<00:14:27.470> reality<00:14:28.630> stimulation<00:14:29.630> coming<00:14:30.110> in
planes of reality stimulation coming in
planes of reality stimulation coming in
through<00:14:30.589> my<00:14:30.740> sensory<00:14:31.490> systems<00:14:32.060> felt<00:14:32.449> like
through my sensory systems felt like
through my sensory systems felt like
pure<00:14:33.019> pain<00:14:33.819> light<00:14:34.819> burned<00:14:35.540> my<00:14:35.899> brain<00:14:36.260> like
pure pain light burned my brain like
pure pain light burned my brain like
wildfire<00:14:37.279> and<00:14:37.699> sounds<00:14:38.420> were<00:14:38.600> so<00:14:39.230> loud<00:14:39.709> and
wildfire and sounds were so loud and
wildfire and sounds were so loud and
chaotic<00:14:40.610> that<00:14:41.360> I<00:14:41.420> could<00:14:41.779> not<00:14:41.959> pick<00:14:42.410> a<00:14:42.440> voice
chaotic that I could not pick a voice
chaotic that I could not pick a voice
out<00:14:43.190> from<00:14:43.699> the<00:14:43.819> background<00:14:44.079> noise<00:14:45.079> and<00:14:45.620> I<00:14:45.740> just
out from the background noise and I just
out from the background noise and I just
wanted<00:14:46.370> to<00:14:46.579> escape<00:14:47.380> because<00:14:48.380> I<00:14:48.860> could<00:14:49.430> not
wanted to escape because I could not
wanted to escape because I could not
identify<00:14:49.819> the<00:14:50.449> position<00:14:50.839> of<00:14:51.319> my<00:14:51.500> body<00:14:51.740> in
identify the position of my body in
identify the position of my body in
space<00:14:52.189> I<00:14:52.850> felt<00:14:53.660> enormous<00:14:54.350> and<00:14:55.300> expansive<00:14:56.410> like
space I felt enormous and expansive like
space I felt enormous and expansive like
a<00:14:57.439> genie<00:14:58.189> just<00:14:58.850> liberated<00:14:59.000> from<00:14:59.779> her<00:14:59.959> bottle
a genie just liberated from her bottle
a genie just liberated from her bottle
and<00:15:01.660> my<00:15:02.660> spirit<00:15:03.170> soared<00:15:03.680> free<00:15:04.339> like<00:15:04.759> a<00:15:04.790> great
and my spirit soared free like a great
and my spirit soared free like a great
whale<00:15:06.339> gliding<00:15:07.339> through<00:15:07.610> a<00:15:07.639> sea<00:15:07.970> of<00:15:08.509> silent
whale gliding through a sea of silent
whale gliding through a sea of silent
euphoria<00:15:11.709> nirvana<00:15:12.709> I<00:15:13.279> found<00:15:13.970> nirvana
euphoria nirvana I found nirvana
euphoria nirvana I found nirvana
I<00:15:17.769> remember<00:15:18.769> thinking<00:15:19.069> there's<00:15:19.490> no<00:15:19.939> way<00:15:20.269> I
I remember thinking there's no way I
I remember thinking there's no way I
would<00:15:20.930> ever<00:15:21.079> be<00:15:21.259> able<00:15:21.290> to<00:15:21.470> squeeze<00:15:21.800> the
would ever be able to squeeze the
would ever be able to squeeze the
enormousness<00:15:22.449> of<00:15:23.449> myself<00:15:23.899> back<00:15:24.350> inside<00:15:24.800> this
enormousness of myself back inside this
enormousness of myself back inside this
tiny<00:15:25.459> little<00:15:25.730> body<00:15:28.240> but<00:15:29.240> then<00:15:29.360> I<00:15:29.449> realized<00:15:29.899> but
tiny little body but then I realized but
tiny little body but then I realized but
I'm<00:15:30.649> still<00:15:31.069> alive<00:15:31.749> I'm<00:15:32.749> still<00:15:32.809> alive<00:15:33.230> and<00:15:34.009> I
I'm still alive I'm still alive and I
I'm still alive I'm still alive and I
have<00:15:34.459> found<00:15:34.610> nirvana<00:15:34.939> and<00:15:35.899> and<00:15:36.259> if<00:15:36.589> I<00:15:36.800> have
have found nirvana and and if I have
have found nirvana and and if I have
found<00:15:37.370> Nirvana<00:15:38.089> and<00:15:38.240> I'm<00:15:38.329> still<00:15:38.720> alive<00:15:38.809> then
found Nirvana and I'm still alive then
found Nirvana and I'm still alive then
everyone<00:15:40.279> who<00:15:40.430> is<00:15:40.579> alive<00:15:40.879> can<00:15:41.529> find<00:15:42.529> nirvana
everyone who is alive can find nirvana
everyone who is alive can find nirvana
and<00:15:45.860> I<00:15:45.949> pictured<00:15:46.309> a<00:15:46.399> world<00:15:46.430> filled<00:15:47.240> with
and I pictured a world filled with
and I pictured a world filled with
beautiful<00:15:48.769> peaceful<00:15:50.800> compassionate<00:15:51.800> loving
beautiful peaceful compassionate loving
beautiful peaceful compassionate loving
people<00:15:52.519> who<00:15:53.120> knew<00:15:53.420> that<00:15:54.050> they<00:15:54.170> could<00:15:54.350> come<00:15:54.559> to
people who knew that they could come to
people who knew that they could come to
this<00:15:54.829> space<00:15:55.189> at<00:15:55.519> any<00:15:55.759> time<00:15:56.499> and<00:15:57.499> that<00:15:58.040> they
this space at any time and that they
this space at any time and that they
could<00:15:58.370> purposely<00:15:59.089> choose<00:16:00.459> to<00:16:01.459> step<00:16:01.790> to<00:16:02.029> the
could purposely choose to step to the
could purposely choose to step to the
right<00:16:02.300> of<00:16:02.540> their<00:16:02.720> left<00:16:02.930> hemispheres<00:16:03.589> and<00:16:04.959> find
right of their left hemispheres and find
right of their left hemispheres and find
this<00:16:06.170> peace<00:16:06.529> and<00:16:07.370> then<00:16:07.639> I<00:16:07.670> realized<00:16:08.059> what<00:16:08.600> a
this peace and then I realized what a
this peace and then I realized what a
tremendous<00:16:08.749> gift<00:16:09.639> this<00:16:10.639> experience<00:16:11.269> could<00:16:11.509> be
tremendous gift this experience could be
tremendous gift this experience could be
what<00:16:11.930> what<00:16:12.439> a<00:16:12.470> stroke<00:16:12.980> of<00:16:13.160> insight<00:16:13.999> this<00:16:14.629> could
what what a stroke of insight this could
what what a stroke of insight this could
be<00:16:15.379> to<00:16:16.370> how<00:16:16.550> we<00:16:16.610> live<00:16:17.059> our<00:16:17.240> lives<00:16:18.129> and<00:16:19.129> it
be to how we live our lives and it
be to how we live our lives and it
motivated<00:16:20.240> me<00:16:20.360> to<00:16:21.079> recover<00:16:24.759> two-and-a-half
motivated me to recover two-and-a-half
motivated me to recover two-and-a-half
weeks<00:16:25.970> after<00:16:26.480> the<00:16:26.629> hemorrhage<00:16:27.189> the<00:16:28.189> surgeons
weeks after the hemorrhage the surgeons
weeks after the hemorrhage the surgeons
went<00:16:28.879> in<00:16:29.120> and<00:16:29.509> they<00:16:29.870> removed<00:16:30.199> a<00:16:30.319> blood<00:16:30.500> clot
went in and they removed a blood clot
went in and they removed a blood clot
the<00:16:30.800> size<00:16:30.949> of<00:16:31.250> a<00:16:31.339> golf<00:16:31.490> ball<00:16:31.639> that<00:16:32.209> was<00:16:32.300> pushing
the size of a golf ball that was pushing
the size of a golf ball that was pushing
on<00:16:32.750> my<00:16:32.930> language<00:16:33.290> centers<00:16:33.709> Here<00:16:34.009> I<00:16:34.040> am<00:16:34.129> with<00:16:34.730> my
on my language centers Here I am with my
on my language centers Here I am with my
momma<00:16:35.120> who's<00:16:35.870> a<00:16:35.990> true<00:16:36.290> angel<00:16:36.680> in<00:16:36.800> my<00:16:36.829> life<00:16:38.319> it
momma who's a true angel in my life it
momma who's a true angel in my life it
took<00:16:39.500> me<00:16:39.680> eight<00:16:40.129> years<00:16:40.189> to<00:16:40.990> completely
took me eight years to completely
took me eight years to completely
recover<00:16:43.120> so<00:16:44.120> who<00:16:45.079> are<00:16:45.319> we<00:16:45.350> we<00:16:46.279> are<00:16:46.839> the<00:16:47.839> life
recover so who are we we are the life
recover so who are we we are the life
force<00:16:48.350> power<00:16:48.740> of<00:16:49.309> the<00:16:49.759> universe<00:16:50.240> with<00:16:51.230> manual
force power of the universe with manual
force power of the universe with manual
dexterity<00:16:52.540> and<00:16:53.540> two<00:16:54.079> cognitive<00:16:54.709> minds<00:16:55.220> and<00:16:55.699> we
dexterity and two cognitive minds and we
dexterity and two cognitive minds and we
have<00:16:56.870> the<00:16:56.990> power<00:16:57.230> to<00:16:57.470> choose<00:16:57.769> moment<00:16:58.639> by
have the power to choose moment by
have the power to choose moment by
moment<00:16:58.790> who<00:16:59.480> and<00:16:59.839> how<00:17:00.439> we<00:17:00.500> want<00:17:01.009> to<00:17:01.069> be<00:17:01.279> in<00:17:01.490> the
moment who and how we want to be in the
moment who and how we want to be in the
world<00:17:02.199> right<00:17:03.199> here<00:17:03.470> right<00:17:04.039> now<00:17:04.309> I<00:17:04.339> can<00:17:04.850> step
world right here right now I can step
world right here right now I can step
into<00:17:05.630> the<00:17:05.809> consciousness<00:17:06.079> of<00:17:06.649> my<00:17:06.709> right
into the consciousness of my right
into the consciousness of my right
hemisphere<00:17:07.449> where<00:17:08.449> we<00:17:09.079> are<00:17:09.409> I<00:17:09.799> am<00:17:10.280> the
hemisphere where we are I am the
hemisphere where we are I am the
life-force<00:17:11.179> power<00:17:11.600> of<00:17:11.959> the<00:17:12.020> universe<00:17:12.439> I<00:17:12.589> am
life-force power of the universe I am
life-force power of the universe I am
the<00:17:13.100> life-force<00:17:13.459> power<00:17:13.970> the<00:17:14.510> 50<00:17:15.140> trillion
the life-force power the 50 trillion
the life-force power the 50 trillion
beautiful<00:17:16.039> molecular<00:17:16.689> geniuses<00:17:17.689> that<00:17:17.839> make
beautiful molecular geniuses that make
beautiful molecular geniuses that make
up<00:17:18.169> my<00:17:18.319> form<00:17:18.709> and<00:17:19.039> one<00:17:19.699> with<00:17:20.270> all<00:17:20.539> that<00:17:20.780> is<00:17:21.280> or<00:17:22.280> I
up my form and one with all that is or I
up my form and one with all that is or I
can<00:17:24.230> choose<00:17:24.409> to<00:17:24.620> step<00:17:24.799> into<00:17:25.039> the
can choose to step into the
can choose to step into the
consciousness<00:17:25.549> of<00:17:25.819> my<00:17:25.880> left<00:17:26.240> hemisphere
consciousness of my left hemisphere
consciousness of my left hemisphere
where<00:17:27.930> I<00:17:27.960> become<00:17:28.260> a<00:17:28.290> single<00:17:28.590> individual<00:17:29.430> a
where I become a single individual a
where I become a single individual a
solid<00:17:30.560> separate<00:17:31.560> from<00:17:31.770> the<00:17:31.890> flow<00:17:32.390> separate
solid separate from the flow separate
solid separate from the flow separate
from<00:17:33.630> you
from you
from you
I<00:17:34.080> am<00:17:35.010> dr.<00:17:35.520> Jill<00:17:35.730> Bolte<00:17:36.090> Taylor<00:17:36.500> intellectual
I am dr. Jill Bolte Taylor intellectual
I am dr. Jill Bolte Taylor intellectual
neuroanatomist
these<00:17:41.670> are<00:17:42.210> the<00:17:42.780> wee<00:17:43.310> inside<00:17:44.310> of<00:17:44.520> me<00:17:46.070> which
these are the wee inside of me which
these are the wee inside of me which
would<00:17:47.280> you<00:17:47.460> choose<00:17:50.090> which<00:17:51.090> do<00:17:51.450> you<00:17:51.480> choose<00:17:51.830> and
would you choose which do you choose and
would you choose which do you choose and
when<00:17:54.600> I<00:17:57.530> believe<00:17:58.530> that<00:17:59.040> the<00:17:59.160> more<00:17:59.340> time<00:17:59.670> we
when I believe that the more time we
when I believe that the more time we
spend<00:18:00.510> choosing<00:18:01.380> to<00:18:01.860> run<00:18:01.950> the<00:18:02.010> deep<00:18:02.160> inner
spend choosing to run the deep inner
spend choosing to run the deep inner
peace<00:18:02.610> circuitry<00:18:03.390> of<00:18:03.480> our<00:18:03.630> right<00:18:03.840> hemispheres
peace circuitry of our right hemispheres
peace circuitry of our right hemispheres
the<00:18:05.580> more<00:18:05.790> peace<00:18:06.090> we<00:18:06.570> will<00:18:06.780> project<00:18:07.080> into<00:18:07.650> the
the more peace we will project into the
the more peace we will project into the
world<00:18:08.010> and<00:18:08.370> the<00:18:09.120> more<00:18:09.270> peaceful<00:18:09.840> our<00:18:10.290> planet
world and the more peaceful our planet
world and the more peaceful our planet
will<00:18:10.920> be<00:18:11.040> and<00:18:11.940> I<00:18:12.780> thought<00:18:12.990> that<00:18:13.320> was<00:18:13.950> an<00:18:14.100> idea
will be and I thought that was an idea
will be and I thought that was an idea
worth<00:18:14.760> spreading
[Applause]
Jill Bolte Taylor, TEDEducation, TED-Ed, TED, Ed, stroke, brain
