Life's third act - Jane Fonda
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there<00:00:16.560> have<00:00:16.760> been<00:00:17.160> many<00:00:17.520> revolutions<00:00:18.400> over
there have been many revolutions over
there have been many revolutions over
the<00:00:18.800> last<00:00:19.080> century<00:00:19.560> but<00:00:19.800> perhaps<00:00:20.240> none<00:00:20.760> as
the last century but perhaps none as
the last century but perhaps none as
significant<00:00:22.000> as<00:00:22.119> the<00:00:22.279> longevity
significant as the longevity
significant as the longevity
Revolution<00:00:24.599> we<00:00:24.840> are<00:00:25.039> living<00:00:25.519> on<00:00:25.840> average
Revolution we are living on average
Revolution we are living on average
today<00:00:26.960> 34<00:00:27.760> years<00:00:28.560> longer<00:00:29.000> than<00:00:29.119> our<00:00:29.320> great
today 34 years longer than our great
today 34 years longer than our great
grandpar<00:00:29.960> parents<00:00:30.279> did<00:00:30.480> think<00:00:30.679> about<00:00:30.960> that
grandpar parents did think about that
grandpar parents did think about that
that's<00:00:31.599> an<00:00:31.840> entire<00:00:32.840> second<00:00:33.280> adult<00:00:33.719> lifetime
that's an entire second adult lifetime
that's an entire second adult lifetime
that's<00:00:34.879> been<00:00:35.120> added<00:00:35.399> to<00:00:35.600> our<00:00:36.040> lifespan<00:00:37.040> and
that's been added to our lifespan and
that's been added to our lifespan and
yet<00:00:37.360> for<00:00:37.520> the<00:00:37.640> most<00:00:37.879> part<00:00:38.160> our<00:00:38.399> culture<00:00:38.879> has
yet for the most part our culture has
yet for the most part our culture has
not<00:00:39.280> come<00:00:39.480> to<00:00:39.680> terms<00:00:40.520> with<00:00:40.719> what<00:00:40.920> this<00:00:41.079> means
not come to terms with what this means
not come to terms with what this means
we're<00:00:42.079> still<00:00:42.360> living<00:00:42.719> with<00:00:42.879> the<00:00:43.079> old<00:00:43.600> Paradigm
we're still living with the old Paradigm
we're still living with the old Paradigm
of<00:00:44.559> age<00:00:45.440> as<00:00:45.559> an<00:00:45.760> arch<00:00:46.600> that's<00:00:46.800> the<00:00:46.960> metaphor
of age as an arch that's the metaphor
of age as an arch that's the metaphor
the<00:00:47.640> old<00:00:47.960> metaphor<00:00:48.440> you're<00:00:48.640> born<00:00:49.399> you<00:00:49.640> Peak<00:00:49.879> at
the old metaphor you're born you Peak at
the old metaphor you're born you Peak at
midlife<00:00:50.640> and<00:00:50.840> decline<00:00:51.399> into
midlife and decline into
midlife and decline into
decrepitude<00:00:54.559> age<00:00:55.000> as
decrepitude age as
decrepitude age as
pathology<00:00:57.480> but<00:00:57.760> many<00:00:58.120> people<00:00:58.440> today
pathology but many people today
pathology but many people today
philosophers<00:00:59.600> AR<00:01:00.280> doctors<00:01:00.800> scientists<00:01:01.800> are
philosophers AR doctors scientists are
philosophers AR doctors scientists are
taking<00:01:02.359> a<00:01:02.559> new<00:01:02.800> look<00:01:03.039> at<00:01:03.239> what<00:01:03.399> I<00:01:03.559> call<00:01:03.840> the
taking a new look at what I call the
taking a new look at what I call the
third<00:01:04.400> act<00:01:05.119> the<00:01:05.320> last<00:01:05.560> three<00:01:05.880> decades<00:01:06.280> of<00:01:06.680> Life
third act the last three decades of Life
third act the last three decades of Life
they<00:01:07.960> realize<00:01:08.720> that<00:01:08.920> this<00:01:09.040> is<00:01:09.400> actually<00:01:09.960> a
they realize that this is actually a
they realize that this is actually a
developmental<00:01:11.240> stage<00:01:11.600> of<00:01:11.920> life<00:01:12.759> with<00:01:12.960> its<00:01:13.240> own
developmental stage of life with its own
developmental stage of life with its own
significance<00:01:15.200> as<00:01:15.520> different<00:01:16.360> from<00:01:16.680> midlife
significance as different from midlife
significance as different from midlife
as
as
as
adolescences<00:01:19.159> from
adolescences from
adolescences from
childhood<00:01:21.040> and<00:01:21.200> they<00:01:21.320> are<00:01:21.560> asking<00:01:22.079> we<00:01:22.360> we
childhood and they are asking we we
childhood and they are asking we we
should<00:01:22.720> all<00:01:23.119> be<00:01:23.520> asking<00:01:24.520> how<00:01:24.680> do<00:01:24.880> we<00:01:25.079> use<00:01:25.799> this
should all be asking how do we use this
should all be asking how do we use this
time<00:01:27.040> how<00:01:27.159> do<00:01:27.360> we<00:01:27.759> live<00:01:28.000> it<00:01:28.320> successfully<00:01:29.079> what
time how do we live it successfully what
time how do we live it successfully what
is<00:01:29.400> the<00:01:29.600> approach<00:01:29.920> appropriate<00:01:30.360> new<00:01:30.600> metaphor
is the approach appropriate new metaphor
is the approach appropriate new metaphor
for<00:01:31.920> aging<00:01:32.920> I've<00:01:33.119> spent<00:01:33.399> the<00:01:33.600> last<00:01:33.880> year
for aging I've spent the last year
for aging I've spent the last year
researching<00:01:34.720> and<00:01:34.920> writing<00:01:35.280> about<00:01:35.560> this
researching and writing about this
researching and writing about this
subject<00:01:36.560> and<00:01:36.759> I<00:01:36.880> have<00:01:37.079> come<00:01:37.600> to<00:01:37.880> find<00:01:38.399> that<00:01:38.720> a
subject and I have come to find that a
subject and I have come to find that a
more<00:01:39.360> appropriate<00:01:39.960> metaphor<00:01:40.920> for<00:01:41.200> aging<00:01:41.880> is<00:01:42.320> a
more appropriate metaphor for aging is a
more appropriate metaphor for aging is a
staircase<00:01:44.320> the<00:01:44.520> upward<00:01:44.960> Ascension<00:01:45.560> of<00:01:45.719> the
staircase the upward Ascension of the
staircase the upward Ascension of the
human<00:01:46.439> Spirit<00:01:47.399> bringing<00:01:47.840> us<00:01:48.119> into<00:01:48.520> wisdom
human Spirit bringing us into wisdom
human Spirit bringing us into wisdom
wholeness<00:01:50.360> and<00:01:50.880> authenticity<00:01:51.880> aged<00:01:52.439> not<00:01:52.680> at
wholeness and authenticity aged not at
wholeness and authenticity aged not at
all<00:01:53.119> as<00:01:53.360> pathology<00:01:54.159> age<00:01:54.880> as<00:01:55.200> potential<00:01:55.840> and
all as pathology age as potential and
all as pathology age as potential and
guess<00:01:56.399> what<00:01:57.240> this<00:01:57.520> potential<00:01:58.320> is<00:01:58.560> not<00:01:58.799> for<00:01:59.000> the
guess what this potential is not for the
guess what this potential is not for the
lucky<00:01:59.439> few<00:01:59.960> it<00:02:00.079> turns<00:02:00.439> out<00:02:01.200> most<00:02:01.600> people<00:02:02.000> over
lucky few it turns out most people over
lucky few it turns out most people over
50<00:02:03.880> feel<00:02:04.280> better<00:02:04.880> are<00:02:05.119> less<00:02:05.399> stressed<00:02:06.240> less
50 feel better are less stressed less
50 feel better are less stressed less
hostile<00:02:07.119> less<00:02:07.399> anxious<00:02:08.319> we<00:02:08.479> tend<00:02:08.679> to<00:02:08.840> see
hostile less anxious we tend to see
hostile less anxious we tend to see
commonalities<00:02:10.399> more<00:02:10.640> than<00:02:10.879> differences<00:02:11.560> some
commonalities more than differences some
commonalities more than differences some
of<00:02:12.239> the<00:02:12.400> studies<00:02:13.120> even<00:02:13.360> say<00:02:13.599> we're
of the studies even say we're
of the studies even say we're
happier<00:02:15.640> this<00:02:15.879> is<00:02:16.280> not<00:02:16.680> what<00:02:16.879> I<00:02:17.239> expected
happier this is not what I expected
happier this is not what I expected
trust<00:02:17.959> me<00:02:18.440> I<00:02:18.560> come<00:02:18.760> from<00:02:18.879> a<00:02:19.040> long<00:02:19.280> line<00:02:19.519> of
trust me I come from a long line of
trust me I come from a long line of
depressives<00:02:21.319> as<00:02:21.480> I<00:02:21.599> was<00:02:21.840> approaching<00:02:22.360> my<00:02:22.519> late
depressives as I was approaching my late
depressives as I was approaching my late
40s<00:02:23.560> when<00:02:23.720> I<00:02:23.920> would<00:02:24.080> wake<00:02:24.280> up<00:02:24.440> in<00:02:24.560> the<00:02:24.680> morning
40s when I would wake up in the morning
40s when I would wake up in the morning
my<00:02:25.360> first<00:02:26.040> six<00:02:26.440> thoughts<00:02:26.760> would<00:02:26.920> all<00:02:27.120> be
my first six thoughts would all be
my first six thoughts would all be
negative<00:02:27.800> and<00:02:27.920> I<00:02:28.040> got<00:02:28.239> scared<00:02:28.720> I<00:02:28.800> thought<00:02:29.000> oh
negative and I got scared I thought oh
negative and I got scared I thought oh
my<00:02:29.280> gosh<00:02:29.480> I'm<00:02:29.560> going<00:02:29.680> to<00:02:30.000> become<00:02:30.519> a<00:02:30.680> crotchety
my gosh I'm going to become a crotchety
my gosh I'm going to become a crotchety
old<00:02:31.879> lady<00:02:32.879> but<00:02:33.080> now<00:02:33.319> that<00:02:33.519> I<00:02:33.640> am<00:02:33.920> actually
old lady but now that I am actually
old lady but now that I am actually
smack<00:02:34.800> dab<00:02:35.040> in<00:02:35.160> the<00:02:35.239> middle<00:02:35.480> of<00:02:35.680> my<00:02:35.800> own<00:02:36.080> third
smack dab in the middle of my own third
smack dab in the middle of my own third
act<00:02:37.400> I<00:02:37.560> realize<00:02:38.560> I've<00:02:38.760> never<00:02:39.000> been<00:02:39.519> happier<00:02:40.519> I
act I realize I've never been happier I
act I realize I've never been happier I
have<00:02:41.440> such<00:02:41.640> a<00:02:41.920> powerful<00:02:42.360> feeling<00:02:42.720> of
have such a powerful feeling of
have such a powerful feeling of
well-being<00:02:44.840> and<00:02:45.000> I've<00:02:45.400> discovered<00:02:45.720> that<00:02:46.680> when
well-being and I've discovered that when
well-being and I've discovered that when
you're<00:02:47.159> inside<00:02:47.959> oldness<00:02:48.680> as<00:02:48.840> opposed<00:02:49.200> to
you're inside oldness as opposed to
you're inside oldness as opposed to
looking<00:02:49.680> at<00:02:49.840> it<00:02:50.000> from<00:02:50.159> the<00:02:50.360> outside<00:02:50.959> fear
looking at it from the outside fear
looking at it from the outside fear
subsides<00:02:52.360> you<00:02:52.519> realize<00:02:53.000> you're<00:02:53.159> still
subsides you realize you're still
subsides you realize you're still
yourself<00:02:54.760> maybe<00:02:55.080> even<00:02:55.360> more<00:02:55.599> so<00:02:56.480> you<00:02:56.599> know
yourself maybe even more so you know
yourself maybe even more so you know
Picasso<00:02:57.440> once<00:02:57.680> said<00:02:57.959> it<00:02:58.120> takes<00:02:58.400> a<00:02:58.760> long<00:02:59.200> time
Picasso once said it takes a long time
Picasso once said it takes a long time
to<00:02:59.879> become
to become
to become
young<00:03:03.000> I<00:03:03.080> don't<00:03:03.239> want<00:03:03.360> to<00:03:03.560> romanticize<00:03:04.319> aging
young I don't want to romanticize aging
young I don't want to romanticize aging
obviously<00:03:05.200> there's<00:03:05.440> no<00:03:05.680> guarantee<00:03:06.200> that<00:03:06.319> it
obviously there's no guarantee that it
obviously there's no guarantee that it
can<00:03:06.599> be<00:03:06.720> a<00:03:06.879> time<00:03:07.080> of<00:03:07.239> fruition<00:03:07.920> and<00:03:08.360> growth<00:03:09.360> uh
can be a time of fruition and growth uh
can be a time of fruition and growth uh
some<00:03:09.920> of<00:03:10.040> it<00:03:10.200> is<00:03:10.319> a<00:03:10.480> matter<00:03:10.720> of<00:03:10.920> luck<00:03:11.440> some<00:03:11.640> of
some of it is a matter of luck some of
some of it is a matter of luck some of
it<00:03:12.000> obviously<00:03:12.519> is<00:03:13.000> genetic<00:03:14.000> onethird<00:03:14.640> of<00:03:14.760> it
it obviously is genetic onethird of it
it obviously is genetic onethird of it
in<00:03:15.200> fact<00:03:15.440> is<00:03:15.640> genetic<00:03:16.200> and<00:03:16.360> there<00:03:16.519> isn't<00:03:16.920> much
in fact is genetic and there isn't much
in fact is genetic and there isn't much
we<00:03:17.319> can<00:03:17.440> do<00:03:17.680> about<00:03:18.040> that<00:03:18.720> but<00:03:18.959> that<00:03:19.159> means<00:03:20.159> that
we can do about that but that means that
we can do about that but that means that
2third<00:03:21.480> of<00:03:21.720> how<00:03:21.920> well<00:03:22.159> we<00:03:22.319> do<00:03:22.640> in<00:03:22.799> the<00:03:22.920> third
2third of how well we do in the third
2third of how well we do in the third
act<00:03:23.840> we<00:03:24.040> can<00:03:24.480> do<00:03:24.760> something<00:03:25.280> about<00:03:26.280> we're
act we can do something about we're
act we can do something about we're
going<00:03:26.519> to<00:03:26.799> discuss<00:03:27.560> what<00:03:27.720> we<00:03:27.879> can<00:03:28.080> do<00:03:28.400> to<00:03:28.640> make
going to discuss what we can do to make
going to discuss what we can do to make
these<00:03:29.200> added<00:03:29.519> years
these added years
these added years
really<00:03:31.000> successful<00:03:32.000> and<00:03:32.200> use<00:03:32.599> them<00:03:33.040> to<00:03:33.239> make<00:03:33.400> a
really successful and use them to make a
really successful and use them to make a
difference<00:03:35.200> now<00:03:35.400> let<00:03:35.519> me<00:03:35.680> say<00:03:35.920> something
difference now let me say something
difference now let me say something
about<00:03:36.439> the<00:03:36.599> staircase<00:03:37.280> which<00:03:37.439> may<00:03:37.760> seem<00:03:38.000> like
about the staircase which may seem like
about the staircase which may seem like
an<00:03:38.360> odd<00:03:39.280> metaphor<00:03:40.280> for<00:03:40.840> seniors<00:03:41.439> given<00:03:41.680> the
an odd metaphor for seniors given the
an odd metaphor for seniors given the
fact<00:03:42.080> that<00:03:42.239> many<00:03:42.480> seniors<00:03:42.840> are<00:03:43.040> challenged<00:03:43.560> by
fact that many seniors are challenged by
fact that many seniors are challenged by
stairs<00:03:45.760> myself<00:03:46.480> included
stairs myself included
stairs myself included
um<00:03:49.239> as<00:03:49.360> you<00:03:49.519> may<00:03:49.720> know<00:03:50.680> the<00:03:50.879> entire<00:03:51.319> world
um as you may know the entire world
um as you may know the entire world
operates<00:03:52.439> on<00:03:52.599> a<00:03:52.840> universal<00:03:53.799> law<00:03:54.400> entropy<00:03:55.200> the
operates on a universal law entropy the
operates on a universal law entropy the
second<00:03:55.720> law<00:03:56.200> of
second law of
second law of
Thermodynamics<00:03:57.959> entropy<00:03:58.519> means<00:03:58.879> that
Thermodynamics entropy means that
Thermodynamics entropy means that
everything<00:03:59.400> in<00:03:59.519> the<00:03:59.879> world<00:04:00.360> everything<00:04:00.840> is<00:04:01.000> in
everything in the world everything is in
everything in the world everything is in
a<00:04:01.319> state<00:04:01.560> of<00:04:01.760> Decline<00:04:02.319> and<00:04:02.519> Decay<00:04:03.120> the<00:04:03.680> arch
a state of Decline and Decay the arch
a state of Decline and Decay the arch
there's<00:04:04.920> only<00:04:05.319> one<00:04:05.640> exception<00:04:06.239> to<00:04:06.439> this
there's only one exception to this
there's only one exception to this
universal<00:04:07.519> law<00:04:08.519> and<00:04:08.680> that<00:04:08.799> is<00:04:08.959> the<00:04:09.120> human
universal law and that is the human
universal law and that is the human
Spirit<00:04:10.680> which<00:04:10.840> can<00:04:11.120> continue<00:04:11.760> to<00:04:12.000> evolve
Spirit which can continue to evolve
Spirit which can continue to evolve
upwards<00:04:13.360> the<00:04:13.760> staircase<00:04:14.760> bringing<00:04:15.239> us<00:04:15.840> into
upwards the staircase bringing us into
upwards the staircase bringing us into
wholeness
wholeness
wholeness
authenticity<00:04:18.519> and<00:04:18.799> wisdom<00:04:19.799> and<00:04:20.320> here's<00:04:20.519> an
authenticity and wisdom and here's an
authenticity and wisdom and here's an
example<00:04:21.359> of<00:04:21.519> what<00:04:21.680> I<00:04:21.759> mean<00:04:22.320> this<00:04:22.759> this<00:04:23.040> upward
example of what I mean this this upward
example of what I mean this this upward
Ascension<00:04:24.320> can<00:04:24.600> happen<00:04:25.000> even<00:04:25.240> in<00:04:25.400> the<00:04:25.600> face<00:04:25.800> of
Ascension can happen even in the face of
Ascension can happen even in the face of
extreme<00:04:26.520> physical<00:04:26.960> challenges<00:04:27.880> about<00:04:28.160> three
extreme physical challenges about three
extreme physical challenges about three
years<00:04:28.639> ago<00:04:28.960> I<00:04:29.080> read<00:04:29.280> an<00:04:29.400> article<00:04:29.919> in<00:04:30.000> the<00:04:30.080> New
years ago I read an article in the New
years ago I read an article in the New
York<00:04:30.680> Times<00:04:31.680> um<00:04:32.160> was<00:04:32.320> about<00:04:32.520> a<00:04:32.680> man<00:04:32.960> named<00:04:33.240> Neil
York Times um was about a man named Neil
York Times um was about a man named Neil
singer<00:04:34.240> 57<00:04:34.840> years<00:04:35.039> old<00:04:35.320> a<00:04:35.520> retired<00:04:35.960> lawyer<00:04:36.960> who
singer 57 years old a retired lawyer who
singer 57 years old a retired lawyer who
had<00:04:37.280> joined<00:04:37.720> the<00:04:37.840> writers<00:04:38.320> group<00:04:38.639> at<00:04:38.840> Sarah
had joined the writers group at Sarah
had joined the writers group at Sarah
Lawrence<00:04:40.039> where<00:04:40.199> he<00:04:40.360> found<00:04:40.800> his<00:04:41.000> writer's
Lawrence where he found his writer's
Lawrence where he found his writer's
voice<00:04:42.840> two<00:04:43.120> years<00:04:43.440> later<00:04:43.840> he<00:04:44.000> was<00:04:44.240> diagnosed
voice two years later he was diagnosed
voice two years later he was diagnosed
with<00:04:45.560> ALS<00:04:46.560> commonly<00:04:46.960> known<00:04:47.199> as<00:04:47.320> lugar's
with ALS commonly known as lugar's
with ALS commonly known as lugar's
disease<00:04:48.479> it's<00:04:48.639> a<00:04:48.800> terrible<00:04:49.240> disease<00:04:49.639> it's
disease it's a terrible disease it's
disease it's a terrible disease it's
fatal<00:04:50.840> it<00:04:51.039> wastes<00:04:51.639> the<00:04:51.800> body<00:04:52.199> but<00:04:52.400> the<00:04:52.560> Mind
fatal it wastes the body but the Mind
fatal it wastes the body but the Mind
remains<00:04:53.919> intact<00:04:54.919> in<00:04:55.160> this<00:04:55.440> article<00:04:55.960> Mr
remains intact in this article Mr
remains intact in this article Mr
Selinger<00:04:56.800> wrote<00:04:57.120> The<00:04:57.360> Following<00:04:58.360> to<00:04:58.639> describe
Selinger wrote The Following to describe
Selinger wrote The Following to describe
what<00:04:59.479> was<00:04:59.880> happening<00:05:00.240> to<00:05:00.560> him<00:05:01.560> and<00:05:01.800> I
what was happening to him and I
what was happening to him and I
quote<00:05:03.759> as<00:05:04.000> my<00:05:04.240> muscles
quote as my muscles
quote as my muscles
weakened<00:05:06.400> my<00:05:06.600> writing<00:05:07.120> became<00:05:08.080> stronger<00:05:09.080> as<00:05:09.240> I
weakened my writing became stronger as I
weakened my writing became stronger as I
slowly<00:05:10.039> lost<00:05:10.560> my<00:05:11.120> speech<00:05:12.120> I<00:05:12.280> gained<00:05:12.759> my
slowly lost my speech I gained my
slowly lost my speech I gained my
voice<00:05:14.560> as<00:05:14.720> I<00:05:14.919> diminished<00:05:15.800> I<00:05:16.240> grew<00:05:17.240> as<00:05:17.440> I<00:05:17.680> lost
voice as I diminished I grew as I lost
voice as I diminished I grew as I lost
so<00:05:18.560> much<00:05:19.120> I<00:05:19.440> finally<00:05:20.000> started<00:05:20.440> to<00:05:20.639> find
so much I finally started to find
so much I finally started to find
myself<00:05:23.720> Neil<00:05:23.960> singer<00:05:24.560> to<00:05:24.720> me<00:05:24.840> is<00:05:25.039> the
myself Neil singer to me is the
myself Neil singer to me is the
embodiment<00:05:26.360> of<00:05:26.520> mounting<00:05:27.000> the<00:05:27.400> staircase<00:05:28.400> in
embodiment of mounting the staircase in
embodiment of mounting the staircase in
his<00:05:28.800> third<00:05:29.160> Act
his third Act
his third Act
now<00:05:31.120> we're<00:05:31.360> all<00:05:31.600> born<00:05:32.039> with<00:05:32.280> spirit<00:05:32.720> all<00:05:32.880> of<00:05:33.080> us
now we're all born with spirit all of us
now we're all born with spirit all of us
but<00:05:34.199> sometimes<00:05:34.479> it<00:05:34.680> gets<00:05:34.960> tamped<00:05:35.360> down
but sometimes it gets tamped down
but sometimes it gets tamped down
beneath<00:05:36.039> the<00:05:36.199> challenges<00:05:36.720> of<00:05:36.960> life<00:05:37.840> violence
beneath the challenges of life violence
beneath the challenges of life violence
abuse
abuse
abuse
neglect<00:05:40.840> perhaps<00:05:41.199> our<00:05:41.440> parents<00:05:41.800> suffered
neglect perhaps our parents suffered
neglect perhaps our parents suffered
from<00:05:42.440> depression<00:05:43.440> perhaps<00:05:43.840> they<00:05:44.000> weren't
from depression perhaps they weren't
from depression perhaps they weren't
able<00:05:44.600> to<00:05:44.840> love<00:05:45.120> us<00:05:45.400> Beyond<00:05:45.960> how<00:05:46.199> we<00:05:46.800> performed
able to love us Beyond how we performed
able to love us Beyond how we performed
in<00:05:47.560> the<00:05:47.800> world<00:05:48.800> um<00:05:49.280> perhaps<00:05:49.720> we<00:05:49.919> still<00:05:50.240> suffer
in the world um perhaps we still suffer
in the world um perhaps we still suffer
from<00:05:51.000> a<00:05:51.360> a<00:05:51.560> psychic<00:05:52.120> pain<00:05:52.440> a<00:05:52.600> wound<00:05:53.319> perhaps<00:05:53.759> we
from a a psychic pain a wound perhaps we
from a a psychic pain a wound perhaps we
feel<00:05:54.160> that<00:05:54.360> many<00:05:54.600> of<00:05:54.759> our<00:05:55.000> relationships<00:05:55.960> have
feel that many of our relationships have
feel that many of our relationships have
not<00:05:56.400> had<00:05:56.600> closure<00:05:57.440> and<00:05:57.560> so<00:05:57.919> we<00:05:58.080> can<00:05:58.280> feel
not had closure and so we can feel
not had closure and so we can feel
unfinished
unfinished
unfinished
perhaps<00:06:01.520> the<00:06:01.840> task<00:06:02.639> of<00:06:02.800> the<00:06:02.960> third<00:06:03.520> Act<00:06:04.520> is<00:06:04.960> to
perhaps the task of the third Act is to
perhaps the task of the third Act is to
finish<00:06:05.560> up<00:06:05.759> the<00:06:05.960> task<00:06:06.199> of<00:06:06.319> finishing
finish up the task of finishing
finish up the task of finishing
ourselves<00:06:08.680> for<00:06:08.880> me<00:06:09.120> it<00:06:09.319> began<00:06:10.280> as<00:06:10.440> I<00:06:10.560> was
ourselves for me it began as I was
ourselves for me it began as I was
approaching<00:06:11.840> my<00:06:12.039> third<00:06:12.400> act<00:06:12.759> my<00:06:12.960> 60th
approaching my third act my 60th
approaching my third act my 60th
birthday<00:06:15.039> how<00:06:15.199> was<00:06:15.360> I<00:06:15.599> supposed<00:06:15.880> to<00:06:16.000> live<00:06:16.199> it
birthday how was I supposed to live it
birthday how was I supposed to live it
what<00:06:17.039> was<00:06:17.160> I<00:06:17.319> supposed<00:06:17.639> to<00:06:17.880> accomplish<00:06:18.360> in
what was I supposed to accomplish in
what was I supposed to accomplish in
this<00:06:18.720> Final<00:06:19.120> Act<00:06:19.800> and<00:06:19.960> I<00:06:20.160> realized<00:06:20.720> that<00:06:20.880> in
this Final Act and I realized that in
this Final Act and I realized that in
order<00:06:21.680> to<00:06:21.840> know<00:06:22.120> where<00:06:22.319> I<00:06:22.440> was<00:06:23.000> going<00:06:24.000> I<00:06:24.120> had<00:06:24.280> to
order to know where I was going I had to
order to know where I was going I had to
know<00:06:24.639> where<00:06:24.840> I'd<00:06:25.199> been<00:06:26.199> and<00:06:26.400> so<00:06:27.000> I<00:06:27.120> went<00:06:27.479> back
know where I'd been and so I went back
know where I'd been and so I went back
and<00:06:27.960> I<00:06:28.160> studied<00:06:28.759> my<00:06:28.919> first<00:06:29.120> two<00:06:29.360> Act
and I studied my first two Act
and I studied my first two Act
trying<00:06:30.639> to<00:06:30.880> see<00:06:31.479> who<00:06:31.759> I<00:06:31.960> was<00:06:32.400> then<00:06:32.919> who<00:06:33.120> I
trying to see who I was then who I
trying to see who I was then who I
really<00:06:33.840> was<00:06:34.199> not<00:06:34.440> who<00:06:35.400> my<00:06:35.680> parents<00:06:36.080> or<00:06:36.319> other
really was not who my parents or other
really was not who my parents or other
people<00:06:36.919> told<00:06:37.199> me<00:06:37.440> I<00:06:37.720> was<00:06:38.360> or<00:06:38.639> treated<00:06:39.039> me<00:06:39.319> like
people told me I was or treated me like
people told me I was or treated me like
I<00:06:39.639> was<00:06:39.880> but<00:06:40.039> who<00:06:40.240> was<00:06:40.440> I<00:06:40.800> who<00:06:40.960> were<00:06:41.160> my<00:06:41.400> parents
I was but who was I who were my parents
I was but who was I who were my parents
not<00:06:42.280> as<00:06:42.520> parents<00:06:42.880> but<00:06:43.039> as
not as parents but as
not as parents but as
people<00:06:45.000> who<00:06:45.160> were<00:06:45.360> my<00:06:45.759> grandparents<00:06:46.759> how<00:06:46.880> did
people who were my grandparents how did
people who were my grandparents how did
they<00:06:47.280> treat<00:06:47.639> my<00:06:47.840> parents<00:06:48.599> these<00:06:48.840> kinds<00:06:49.039> of
things<00:06:52.599> I<00:06:53.039> discovered<00:06:53.840> a<00:06:53.960> couple<00:06:54.199> of<00:06:54.400> years
things I discovered a couple of years
things I discovered a couple of years
later<00:06:55.280> that<00:06:55.680> this<00:06:56.080> process<00:06:56.560> that<00:06:56.720> I<00:06:56.840> had<00:06:57.039> gone
later that this process that I had gone
later that this process that I had gone
through<00:06:58.199> is<00:06:58.400> called<00:06:58.840> by<00:06:59.080> Psych<00:06:59.560> ol<00:06:59.639> ologists
through is called by Psych ol ologists
through is called by Psych ol ologists
doing<00:07:00.599> a<00:07:00.800> Life<00:07:01.080> review<00:07:02.000> and<00:07:02.160> they<00:07:02.319> say<00:07:02.560> it<00:07:02.720> can
doing a Life review and they say it can
doing a Life review and they say it can
give<00:07:03.199> new<00:07:03.599> significance<00:07:04.240> and<00:07:04.479> Clarity<00:07:04.919> and
give new significance and Clarity and
give new significance and Clarity and
meaning<00:07:05.840> to<00:07:06.000> a<00:07:06.199> person's<00:07:06.960> life<00:07:07.960> you<00:07:08.120> may
meaning to a person's life you may
meaning to a person's life you may
discover<00:07:09.360> as<00:07:09.560> I<00:07:09.800> did<00:07:10.680> that<00:07:10.879> a<00:07:11.039> lot<00:07:11.240> of<00:07:11.479> things
discover as I did that a lot of things
discover as I did that a lot of things
that<00:07:12.000> you<00:07:12.240> used<00:07:12.479> to<00:07:12.599> think<00:07:12.800> were<00:07:13.000> your<00:07:13.639> fault<00:07:14.639> a
that you used to think were your fault a
that you used to think were your fault a
lot<00:07:14.879> of<00:07:15.000> things<00:07:15.199> that<00:07:15.319> you<00:07:15.560> used<00:07:15.759> to<00:07:15.919> think
lot of things that you used to think
lot of things that you used to think
about<00:07:16.440> yourself<00:07:17.440> really<00:07:17.879> had<00:07:18.120> nothing<00:07:18.440> to<00:07:18.599> do
about yourself really had nothing to do
about yourself really had nothing to do
with<00:07:19.319> you<00:07:20.319> it<00:07:20.440> wasn't<00:07:20.800> your<00:07:21.080> fault<00:07:22.080> you're
with you it wasn't your fault you're
with you it wasn't your fault you're
just<00:07:22.639> fine<00:07:23.639> and<00:07:23.759> you're<00:07:24.039> able<00:07:24.720> to<00:07:24.919> go<00:07:25.160> back<00:07:25.440> and
just fine and you're able to go back and
just fine and you're able to go back and
forgive<00:07:26.240> them<00:07:27.240> and<00:07:27.400> forgive<00:07:28.120> yourself<00:07:29.120> you're
forgive them and forgive yourself you're
forgive them and forgive yourself you're
able<00:07:29.879> to<00:07:30.720> free<00:07:31.440> yourself<00:07:32.440> from<00:07:32.639> your<00:07:33.160> past<00:07:34.160> you
able to free yourself from your past you
able to free yourself from your past you
can<00:07:34.479> work<00:07:34.720> to<00:07:34.960> change<00:07:35.639> your<00:07:35.919> relationship<00:07:36.800> to
can work to change your relationship to
can work to change your relationship to
your<00:07:37.479> past<00:07:38.479> now<00:07:38.720> while<00:07:38.919> I<00:07:39.039> was<00:07:39.240> writing<00:07:39.639> about
your past now while I was writing about
your past now while I was writing about
this<00:07:40.240> I<00:07:40.400> Came<00:07:40.599> Upon<00:07:40.879> a<00:07:41.039> book<00:07:41.280> called<00:07:41.639> Man's
this I Came Upon a book called Man's
this I Came Upon a book called Man's
Search<00:07:42.479> for<00:07:42.680> meaning<00:07:43.560> by<00:07:43.759> Victor<00:07:44.080> Frankle
Search for meaning by Victor Frankle
Search for meaning by Victor Frankle
Victor<00:07:45.479> Frankle<00:07:45.919> was<00:07:46.080> a<00:07:46.240> German<00:07:46.639> psychiatrist
Victor Frankle was a German psychiatrist
Victor Frankle was a German psychiatrist
who<00:07:47.759> who'd<00:07:47.960> spent<00:07:48.280> five<00:07:48.520> years<00:07:48.720> in<00:07:48.840> a<00:07:49.000> Nazi
who who'd spent five years in a Nazi
who who'd spent five years in a Nazi
concentration<00:07:50.120> camp<00:07:51.039> and<00:07:51.159> he<00:07:51.319> wrote<00:07:51.599> that
concentration camp and he wrote that
concentration camp and he wrote that
while<00:07:52.080> he<00:07:52.199> was<00:07:52.360> in<00:07:52.520> the<00:07:53.000> camp<00:07:54.000> he<00:07:54.159> could<00:07:54.560> tell
while he was in the camp he could tell
while he was in the camp he could tell
should<00:07:55.840> they<00:07:56.000> ever<00:07:56.240> be<00:07:56.520> released<00:07:57.520> which<00:07:57.680> of
should they ever be released which of
should they ever be released which of
the<00:07:58.039> people<00:07:58.639> would<00:07:58.840> be<00:07:59.120> okay
the people would be okay
the people would be okay
and<00:08:00.479> which<00:08:01.120> would<00:08:01.400> not<00:08:02.319> and<00:08:02.479> he<00:08:02.639> wrote
this<00:08:07.520> everything<00:08:07.919> you<00:08:08.159> have<00:08:08.360> in<00:08:08.560> life<00:08:08.879> can<00:08:09.000> be
this everything you have in life can be
this everything you have in life can be
taken<00:08:09.599> from<00:08:09.800> you<00:08:10.120> except<00:08:10.560> one<00:08:11.199> thing<00:08:12.199> your
taken from you except one thing your
taken from you except one thing your
freedom<00:08:12.919> to<00:08:13.319> choose<00:08:14.319> how<00:08:14.639> you<00:08:14.759> will<00:08:15.080> respond
freedom to choose how you will respond
freedom to choose how you will respond
to<00:08:16.080> the
to the
to the
situation<00:08:18.479> this<00:08:18.680> is<00:08:18.919> what<00:08:19.120> determines<00:08:19.720> the
situation this is what determines the
situation this is what determines the
quality<00:08:20.280> of<00:08:20.440> the<00:08:20.599> life<00:08:20.840> we've<00:08:21.080> lived<00:08:22.000> not
quality of the life we've lived not
quality of the life we've lived not
whether<00:08:22.560> we've<00:08:22.759> been<00:08:22.919> rich<00:08:23.080> or<00:08:23.240> poor<00:08:24.080> famous
whether we've been rich or poor famous
whether we've been rich or poor famous
or<00:08:24.879> unknown<00:08:25.879> healthy<00:08:26.319> or
or unknown healthy or
or unknown healthy or
suffering<00:08:28.080> what<00:08:28.319> determines<00:08:28.960> our<00:08:29.159> quality<00:08:29.759> of
suffering what determines our quality of
suffering what determines our quality of
life<00:08:30.759> is<00:08:31.120> how<00:08:31.360> we<00:08:31.639> relate<00:08:32.479> to<00:08:32.760> these<00:08:33.039> realities
life is how we relate to these realities
life is how we relate to these realities
what<00:08:33.959> kind<00:08:34.120> of<00:08:34.320> meaning<00:08:35.120> we<00:08:35.320> assign<00:08:35.719> them<00:08:35.919> what
what kind of meaning we assign them what
what kind of meaning we assign them what
kind<00:08:36.279> of<00:08:36.839> attitude<00:08:37.479> we<00:08:37.599> cling<00:08:37.880> to<00:08:38.200> about<00:08:38.479> them
kind of attitude we cling to about them
kind of attitude we cling to about them
what<00:08:39.320> state<00:08:39.560> of<00:08:39.800> mind<00:08:40.320> we<00:08:40.519> allow<00:08:40.880> them<00:08:41.039> to
what state of mind we allow them to
what state of mind we allow them to
trigger<00:08:43.120> perhaps<00:08:43.560> the<00:08:43.680> Central<00:08:44.080> purpose<00:08:44.399> of
trigger perhaps the Central purpose of
trigger perhaps the Central purpose of
the<00:08:44.680> third<00:08:45.040> Act<00:08:45.720> is<00:08:45.880> to<00:08:46.120> go<00:08:46.399> back<00:08:47.279> and<00:08:47.399> to<00:08:47.680> try
the third Act is to go back and to try
the third Act is to go back and to try
if<00:08:48.760> appropriate<00:08:49.760> to<00:08:50.320> change<00:08:50.839> our
if appropriate to change our
if appropriate to change our
relationship<00:08:52.240> to<00:08:52.480> the<00:08:53.080> past<00:08:54.080> it<00:08:54.240> turns<00:08:54.640> out
relationship to the past it turns out
relationship to the past it turns out
that<00:08:55.480> cognitive<00:08:56.000> research<00:08:56.440> shows<00:08:57.320> when<00:08:57.519> we
that cognitive research shows when we
that cognitive research shows when we
are<00:08:57.880> able<00:08:58.200> to<00:08:58.399> do<00:08:58.680> this<00:08:58.880> it<00:08:59.079> manif<00:08:59.640> ests
are able to do this it manif ests
are able to do this it manif ests
neurologically<00:09:01.680> neural<00:09:02.320> pathways<00:09:02.959> are
neurologically neural pathways are
neurologically neural pathways are
created<00:09:04.120> in<00:09:04.240> the<00:09:04.399> brain<00:09:04.760> you<00:09:04.880> see<00:09:05.120> if<00:09:05.279> you<00:09:05.519> have
created in the brain you see if you have
created in the brain you see if you have
over<00:09:06.160> time<00:09:06.720> reacted<00:09:07.399> negatively<00:09:08.360> to<00:09:08.680> past
over time reacted negatively to past
over time reacted negatively to past
events<00:09:09.279> in<00:09:09.519> people<00:09:10.200> neural<00:09:10.760> pathways<00:09:11.480> are
events in people neural pathways are
events in people neural pathways are
laid<00:09:12.000> down<00:09:12.399> by<00:09:12.959> chemical<00:09:13.360> and<00:09:13.600> electrical
laid down by chemical and electrical
laid down by chemical and electrical
signals<00:09:14.600> that<00:09:14.680> are<00:09:14.839> sent<00:09:15.079> through<00:09:15.240> the<00:09:15.440> brain
signals that are sent through the brain
signals that are sent through the brain
and<00:09:16.560> over<00:09:16.839> time<00:09:17.279> these<00:09:17.440> neural<00:09:17.920> Pathways
and over time these neural Pathways
and over time these neural Pathways
become<00:09:18.760> hardwired<00:09:19.760> they<00:09:19.959> become<00:09:20.240> the<00:09:20.399> norm
become hardwired they become the norm
become hardwired they become the norm
even<00:09:21.519> if<00:09:21.640> it's<00:09:21.880> bad<00:09:22.120> for<00:09:22.320> us<00:09:22.560> because<00:09:22.760> it
even if it's bad for us because it
even if it's bad for us because it
causes<00:09:23.320> us<00:09:23.880> Stress<00:09:24.360> and
causes us Stress and
causes us Stress and
Anxiety<00:09:26.360> if<00:09:27.000> however<00:09:27.800> we<00:09:27.959> can<00:09:28.200> go<00:09:28.480> back<00:09:29.480> and
Anxiety if however we can go back and
Anxiety if however we can go back and
alter<00:09:30.320> our<00:09:30.600> relationship<00:09:31.680> revision<00:09:32.680> our
alter our relationship revision our
alter our relationship revision our
relationship<00:09:33.839> to<00:09:34.120> past<00:09:34.480> people<00:09:35.000> and<00:09:35.200> events
relationship to past people and events
relationship to past people and events
neural<00:09:36.240> Pathways<00:09:36.760> can<00:09:36.959> change<00:09:37.720> and<00:09:37.880> if<00:09:38.040> we<00:09:38.160> can
neural Pathways can change and if we can
neural Pathways can change and if we can
maintain<00:09:39.399> the<00:09:39.560> more<00:09:40.120> positive<00:09:41.120> uh<00:09:41.279> feelings
maintain the more positive uh feelings
maintain the more positive uh feelings
about<00:09:42.079> the<00:09:42.320> past<00:09:42.920> that<00:09:43.120> becomes<00:09:43.519> the<00:09:43.680> new<00:09:43.880> Norm
about the past that becomes the new Norm
about the past that becomes the new Norm
it<00:09:44.920> it's<00:09:45.079> like<00:09:45.360> resetting<00:09:46.160> a
it it's like resetting a
it it's like resetting a
thermostat<00:09:48.079> you<00:09:48.200> know<00:09:48.399> it's<00:09:48.920> it's<00:09:49.120> not<00:09:49.519> having
thermostat you know it's it's not having
thermostat you know it's it's not having
experiences<00:09:51.240> that<00:09:51.440> make<00:09:51.920> us<00:09:53.360> Wise<00:09:54.360> It's
experiences that make us Wise It's
experiences that make us Wise It's
reflecting<00:09:55.519> on<00:09:55.720> the<00:09:56.000> experiences<00:09:56.839> that<00:09:57.000> we've
reflecting on the experiences that we've
reflecting on the experiences that we've
had<00:09:58.079> that<00:09:58.240> makes<00:09:58.560> us<00:09:58.839> wise<00:09:59.120> and<00:09:59.399> that<00:09:59.560> helps<00:09:59.880> us
had that makes us wise and that helps us
had that makes us wise and that helps us
become<00:10:00.760> whole<00:10:01.640> brings<00:10:02.079> wisdom<00:10:02.440> and
become whole brings wisdom and
become whole brings wisdom and
authenticity<00:10:03.800> it<00:10:04.000> helps<00:10:04.279> us<00:10:04.560> become<00:10:05.200> what<00:10:05.360> we
authenticity it helps us become what we
authenticity it helps us become what we
might<00:10:05.800> have
might have
might have
been<00:10:07.720> women<00:10:08.120> start<00:10:08.519> off<00:10:08.880> whole<00:10:09.399> don't<00:10:09.640> we<00:10:09.800> I
been women start off whole don't we I
been women start off whole don't we I
mean<00:10:10.000> as<00:10:10.200> girls<00:10:10.560> we're<00:10:10.760> feisty<00:10:11.480> yaho<00:10:12.320> says<00:10:13.320> we
mean as girls we're feisty yaho says we
mean as girls we're feisty yaho says we
have<00:10:13.800> agency<00:10:14.800> we<00:10:14.920> are<00:10:15.160> the<00:10:15.519> subjects<00:10:16.040> of<00:10:16.160> our
have agency we are the subjects of our
have agency we are the subjects of our
own<00:10:16.680> lives<00:10:17.519> but<00:10:17.839> very<00:10:18.200> often<00:10:18.720> many<00:10:19.040> if<00:10:19.200> not
own lives but very often many if not
own lives but very often many if not
most<00:10:19.680> of<00:10:19.800> us<00:10:20.000> when<00:10:20.120> we<00:10:20.279> hit<00:10:20.519> puberty<00:10:21.480> we<00:10:21.600> start
most of us when we hit puberty we start
most of us when we hit puberty we start
worrying<00:10:22.279> about<00:10:22.519> fitting<00:10:22.880> in<00:10:23.120> and<00:10:23.279> being
worrying about fitting in and being
worrying about fitting in and being
popular<00:10:24.880> and<00:10:25.079> we<00:10:25.399> we<00:10:25.600> become<00:10:25.959> the<00:10:26.399> subjects
popular and we we become the subjects
popular and we we become the subjects
and<00:10:27.079> objects<00:10:27.480> of<00:10:27.680> other<00:10:27.920> people's<00:10:28.399> lives<00:10:29.360> but
and objects of other people's lives but
and objects of other people's lives but
now<00:10:29.959> in<00:10:30.120> our<00:10:30.320> third<00:10:31.079> acts<00:10:32.079> it<00:10:32.279> may<00:10:32.560> be<00:10:32.920> possible
now in our third acts it may be possible
now in our third acts it may be possible
for<00:10:33.600> us<00:10:34.480> to<00:10:34.760> Circle<00:10:35.320> back<00:10:35.519> to<00:10:35.720> where<00:10:35.920> we
for us to Circle back to where we
for us to Circle back to where we
started<00:10:37.440> and<00:10:37.600> know<00:10:37.880> it<00:10:38.720> for<00:10:38.959> the<00:10:39.120> first<00:10:39.480> time
started and know it for the first time
started and know it for the first time
and<00:10:40.519> if<00:10:40.680> we<00:10:40.839> can<00:10:41.040> do<00:10:41.360> that<00:10:41.600> it<00:10:41.720> will<00:10:42.000> not<00:10:42.399> just
and if we can do that it will not just
and if we can do that it will not just
be<00:10:43.079> for<00:10:43.839> ourselves<00:10:44.839> older<00:10:45.360> women<00:10:45.920> are<00:10:46.120> the
be for ourselves older women are the
be for ourselves older women are the
largest<00:10:46.800> demographic<00:10:47.480> in<00:10:47.639> the<00:10:48.200> world<00:10:49.200> if<00:10:49.399> we
largest demographic in the world if we
largest demographic in the world if we
can<00:10:49.800> go<00:10:50.120> back<00:10:50.480> and<00:10:50.720> redefine<00:10:51.480> ourselves<00:10:52.480> and
can go back and redefine ourselves and
can go back and redefine ourselves and
become<00:10:53.279> whole<00:10:54.279> this<00:10:54.639> will<00:10:55.639> create<00:10:56.040> a<00:10:56.240> cultural
become whole this will create a cultural
become whole this will create a cultural
shift<00:10:57.120> in<00:10:57.279> the<00:10:57.839> world<00:10:58.839> and<00:10:59.000> it<00:10:59.320> will<00:10:59.600> give<00:10:59.800> an
shift in the world and it will give an
shift in the world and it will give an
example<00:11:00.639> to<00:11:00.839> younger<00:11:01.279> Generations<00:11:02.040> so<00:11:02.200> that
example to younger Generations so that
example to younger Generations so that
they<00:11:02.519> can<00:11:02.720> reconceive<00:11:03.200> their<00:11:03.639> own<00:11:04.040> lifespan
they can reconceive their own lifespan
they can reconceive their own lifespan
thank<00:11:05.200> you<00:11:05.399> very
thank you very
thank you very
[Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause]
much<00:11:12.240> thank<00:11:12.440> you
Jane Fonda, TED, TEDx, TEDxWomen, life, expectancy, TED-Ed, TED, Ed, TEDEducation
