How to make work-life balance work - Nigel Marsh
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
what<00:00:16.440> I<00:00:16.520> thought<00:00:16.720> I<00:00:16.800> would<00:00:16.960> do<00:00:17.119> is<00:00:17.199> I<00:00:17.279> would
what I thought I would do is I would
what I thought I would do is I would
start<00:00:17.960> with<00:00:18.199> a<00:00:18.439> a<00:00:18.560> simple<00:00:19.359> request<00:00:20.359> uh<00:00:20.480> I'd
start with a a simple request uh I'd
start with a a simple request uh I'd
like<00:00:21.480> all<00:00:21.680> of<00:00:21.880> you<00:00:22.600> to<00:00:23.080> to<00:00:23.279> pause<00:00:23.560> for<00:00:23.720> a<00:00:23.880> moment
like all of you to to pause for a moment
like all of you to to pause for a moment
you<00:00:25.000> wretched<00:00:25.720> weaklings<00:00:26.720> H<00:00:26.880> and<00:00:27.039> take<00:00:27.400> stock
you wretched weaklings H and take stock
you wretched weaklings H and take stock
of<00:00:28.080> your<00:00:28.320> miserable<00:00:29.039> existence
now<00:00:34.040> that<00:00:34.160> was<00:00:34.280> the<00:00:34.440> advice<00:00:34.800> that<00:00:34.960> St<00:00:35.239> Benedict
now that was the advice that St Benedict
now that was the advice that St Benedict
gave<00:00:36.239> his<00:00:36.440> rather<00:00:36.680> startled<00:00:37.200> followers<00:00:37.920> uh<00:00:38.120> in
gave his rather startled followers uh in
gave his rather startled followers uh in
the<00:00:38.559> fifth<00:00:38.920> century<00:00:39.920> uh<00:00:40.000> and<00:00:40.079> it<00:00:40.160> was<00:00:40.280> the
the fifth century uh and it was the
the fifth century uh and it was the
advice<00:00:40.680> that<00:00:40.800> I<00:00:40.920> decided<00:00:41.239> to<00:00:41.320> follow<00:00:41.640> myself
advice that I decided to follow myself
advice that I decided to follow myself
when<00:00:42.160> I<00:00:42.280> turned<00:00:43.399> 40<00:00:44.399> up<00:00:44.559> until<00:00:44.920> that<00:00:45.079> moment<00:00:45.680> I
when I turned 40 up until that moment I
when I turned 40 up until that moment I
had<00:00:45.960> been<00:00:46.199> that<00:00:46.480> classic<00:00:46.960> corporate<00:00:47.399> Warrior
had been that classic corporate Warrior
had been that classic corporate Warrior
I<00:00:48.199> was<00:00:48.320> eating<00:00:48.600> too<00:00:48.840> much<00:00:49.160> I<00:00:49.280> was<00:00:49.399> drinking<00:00:49.760> too
I was eating too much I was drinking too
I was eating too much I was drinking too
much<00:00:50.199> I<00:00:50.280> was<00:00:50.440> working<00:00:50.760> too<00:00:51.000> hard<00:00:51.559> and<00:00:51.680> I<00:00:51.760> was
much I was working too hard and I was
much I was working too hard and I was
neglecting<00:00:52.320> the<00:00:52.680> family<00:00:53.680> uh<00:00:53.800> and<00:00:53.960> I<00:00:54.160> decided
neglecting the family uh and I decided
neglecting the family uh and I decided
that<00:00:55.079> I<00:00:55.160> would<00:00:55.440> try<00:00:56.039> and<00:00:56.199> turn<00:00:56.480> my<00:00:56.680> life<00:00:56.960> around
that I would try and turn my life around
that I would try and turn my life around
in<00:00:57.840> particular<00:00:58.719> I<00:00:58.879> decided<00:00:59.239> I<00:00:59.320> would<00:00:59.440> try<00:00:59.600> to
in particular I decided I would try to
in particular I decided I would try to
address<00:01:00.719> the<00:01:00.840> thorny<00:01:01.359> issue<00:01:02.000> of<00:01:02.199> work<00:01:02.559> life
address the thorny issue of work life
address the thorny issue of work life
balance<00:01:04.479> so<00:01:04.839> I<00:01:05.080> I<00:01:05.199> stepped<00:01:05.680> back<00:01:06.280> from<00:01:06.439> the
balance so I I stepped back from the
balance so I I stepped back from the
workforce<00:01:08.000> and<00:01:08.360> I<00:01:08.479> spent<00:01:08.759> a<00:01:08.960> year<00:01:09.240> at<00:01:09.479> home
workforce and I spent a year at home
workforce and I spent a year at home
with<00:01:10.479> my<00:01:10.759> wife<00:01:11.479> and<00:01:11.680> four<00:01:12.040> young<00:01:13.119> children<00:01:14.119> but
with my wife and four young children but
with my wife and four young children but
all<00:01:14.439> I<00:01:14.560> learned<00:01:14.960> about<00:01:15.240> work<00:01:15.560> life<00:01:15.880> balance
all I learned about work life balance
all I learned about work life balance
from<00:01:16.479> that<00:01:16.720> year<00:01:17.680> was<00:01:17.840> that<00:01:18.119> I<00:01:18.840> found<00:01:19.119> it<00:01:19.360> quite
from that year was that I found it quite
from that year was that I found it quite
easy<00:01:19.920> to<00:01:20.119> balance<00:01:20.920> work<00:01:21.360> and<00:01:21.640> life<00:01:22.320> when<00:01:22.479> I
easy to balance work and life when I
easy to balance work and life when I
didn't<00:01:22.799> have<00:01:22.960> any
work<00:01:27.240> not<00:01:27.439> a<00:01:27.640> very<00:01:27.880> useful<00:01:28.320> skill<00:01:29.000> uh
work not a very useful skill uh
work not a very useful skill uh
especially<00:01:29.960> when<00:01:30.159> the<00:01:30.479> when<00:01:30.600> the<00:01:30.680> money<00:01:30.960> runs
especially when the when the money runs
especially when the when the money runs
out<00:01:32.280> um<00:01:32.439> so<00:01:32.600> I<00:01:32.720> went<00:01:32.920> back<00:01:33.079> to<00:01:33.280> work<00:01:34.280> and<00:01:34.439> I've
out um so I went back to work and I've
out um so I went back to work and I've
spent<00:01:35.399> these<00:01:35.640> seven<00:01:36.040> years
spent these seven years
spent these seven years
since<00:01:37.960> struggling<00:01:38.880> with<00:01:40.119> studying<00:01:41.119> and
since struggling with studying and
since struggling with studying and
writing<00:01:41.759> about<00:01:42.560> work<00:01:42.920> life<00:01:43.159> balance<00:01:44.079> and<00:01:44.159> I
writing about work life balance and I
writing about work life balance and I
have<00:01:44.399> four<00:01:44.640> observations<00:01:45.200> I'd<00:01:45.360> like<00:01:45.479> to<00:01:45.560> share
have four observations I'd like to share
have four observations I'd like to share
with<00:01:46.000> you<00:01:46.680> uh<00:01:47.159> today<00:01:48.159> the<00:01:48.360> first<00:01:49.159> is<00:01:49.320> if
with you uh today the first is if
with you uh today the first is if
Society<00:01:49.920> is<00:01:50.040> to<00:01:50.200> make<00:01:50.399> any<00:01:51.040> progress<00:01:51.840> on<00:01:52.040> this
Society is to make any progress on this
Society is to make any progress on this
issue<00:01:52.680> we<00:01:52.799> need<00:01:52.920> an<00:01:53.159> honest
issue we need an honest
issue we need an honest
debate<00:01:55.719> but<00:01:55.840> the<00:01:55.960> trouble<00:01:56.360> is<00:01:56.840> so<00:01:57.079> many<00:01:57.360> people
debate but the trouble is so many people
debate but the trouble is so many people
talk<00:01:58.360> so<00:01:58.560> much<00:01:58.799> rubbish<00:01:59.640> about<00:01:59.840> about<00:02:00.000> work
talk so much rubbish about about work
talk so much rubbish about about work
life
life
life
balance<00:02:02.320> all<00:02:02.520> the<00:02:02.719> discussions<00:02:03.520> about<00:02:04.240> flexi
balance all the discussions about flexi
balance all the discussions about flexi
time<00:02:05.799> or<00:02:06.360> dress<00:02:06.759> down<00:02:07.079> Fridays<00:02:07.799> or<00:02:08.000> paternity
time or dress down Fridays or paternity
time or dress down Fridays or paternity
leave<00:02:09.520> only<00:02:09.959> serve<00:02:10.440> to<00:02:10.640> mask<00:02:11.120> the<00:02:11.360> core
leave only serve to mask the core
leave only serve to mask the core
issue<00:02:13.400> which<00:02:13.720> is<00:02:14.360> that<00:02:14.599> certain<00:02:15.280> job<00:02:15.760> and
issue which is that certain job and
issue which is that certain job and
career<00:02:16.640> choices<00:02:17.640> are<00:02:18.239> fundamentally
career choices are fundamentally
career choices are fundamentally
incompatible<00:02:21.239> with<00:02:21.440> being<00:02:21.720> meaningfully
incompatible with being meaningfully
incompatible with being meaningfully
engaged<00:02:22.879> on<00:02:23.000> a<00:02:23.160> day-to-day<00:02:23.640> basis<00:02:24.480> with<00:02:24.640> a
engaged on a day-to-day basis with a
engaged on a day-to-day basis with a
young
family<00:02:28.560> now<00:02:28.760> the<00:02:28.920> first<00:02:29.160> step<00:02:29.360> in<00:02:29.480> Sol<00:02:30.040> any
family now the first step in Sol any
family now the first step in Sol any
problem<00:02:31.160> is<00:02:31.360> acknowledging<00:02:31.879> the<00:02:32.040> reality<00:02:32.400> of
problem is acknowledging the reality of
problem is acknowledging the reality of
the<00:02:32.680> situation<00:02:33.120> you're<00:02:33.360> in<00:02:34.160> and<00:02:34.280> the<00:02:34.400> reality
the situation you're in and the reality
the situation you're in and the reality
of<00:02:35.080> the<00:02:35.239> society<00:02:36.120> that<00:02:36.319> we're<00:02:36.840> in<00:02:37.840> is<00:02:38.000> there
of the society that we're in is there
of the society that we're in is there
are<00:02:38.440> thousands<00:02:39.040> and<00:02:39.400> thousands<00:02:39.879> of<00:02:40.080> people
are thousands and thousands of people
are thousands and thousands of people
out<00:02:40.840> there<00:02:41.440> leading<00:02:41.920> lives<00:02:42.319> of<00:02:42.599> quiet
out there leading lives of quiet
out there leading lives of quiet
screaming
screaming
screaming
desperation<00:02:45.440> where<00:02:45.640> they<00:02:45.800> work<00:02:46.120> long<00:02:46.599> hard
desperation where they work long hard
desperation where they work long hard
hours<00:02:47.800> at<00:02:48.000> jobs<00:02:48.360> they<00:02:48.640> hate<00:02:49.560> to<00:02:49.720> enable<00:02:50.040> them
hours at jobs they hate to enable them
hours at jobs they hate to enable them
to<00:02:50.280> buy<00:02:50.480> things<00:02:50.680> they<00:02:50.800> don't<00:02:51.080> need<00:02:51.920> to<00:02:52.120> impress
to buy things they don't need to impress
to buy things they don't need to impress
people<00:02:52.840> they<00:02:52.959> don't
like<00:02:58.599> it's<00:02:58.840> my<00:02:59.120> contention<00:02:59.959> that<00:03:00.120> going<00:03:00.319> to
like it's my contention that going to
like it's my contention that going to
work<00:03:00.680> on<00:03:00.760> a<00:03:00.920> Friday<00:03:01.280> in<00:03:01.480> jeans<00:03:01.720> and<00:03:01.959> t-shirt
work on a Friday in jeans and t-shirt
work on a Friday in jeans and t-shirt
isn't<00:03:02.920> really<00:03:03.120> getting<00:03:03.280> to<00:03:03.440> the<00:03:03.560> nub<00:03:03.840> of<00:03:03.959> the
issue<00:03:08.599> the<00:03:08.760> second<00:03:09.319> observation<00:03:10.000> I'd<00:03:10.159> like<00:03:10.280> to
issue the second observation I'd like to
issue the second observation I'd like to
make<00:03:10.560> is<00:03:10.640> we<00:03:10.760> need<00:03:10.879> to<00:03:11.000> face<00:03:11.360> the<00:03:11.519> truth<00:03:12.280> that
make is we need to face the truth that
make is we need to face the truth that
governments<00:03:13.120> and<00:03:13.840> corporations<00:03:14.840> aren't
governments and corporations aren't
governments and corporations aren't
going<00:03:15.440> to<00:03:15.720> solve<00:03:16.080> this<00:03:16.319> issue<00:03:17.000> for<00:03:17.319> us<00:03:18.200> we
going to solve this issue for us we
going to solve this issue for us we
should<00:03:18.480> stop<00:03:18.720> looking<00:03:19.000> outside<00:03:19.799> it's<00:03:19.959> up<00:03:20.120> to
should stop looking outside it's up to
should stop looking outside it's up to
us<00:03:20.680> as<00:03:21.000> individuals<00:03:22.000> to<00:03:22.200> take<00:03:22.560> control<00:03:23.120> and
us as individuals to take control and
us as individuals to take control and
responsibility<00:03:24.519> for<00:03:24.720> the<00:03:24.959> type<00:03:25.239> of<00:03:25.480> lives
responsibility for the type of lives
responsibility for the type of lives
that<00:03:26.040> we<00:03:26.239> want<00:03:26.519> to<00:03:27.200> lead<00:03:28.200> if<00:03:28.319> you<00:03:28.519> don't<00:03:28.840> design
that we want to lead if you don't design
that we want to lead if you don't design
your<00:03:29.439> life<00:03:29.920> someone<00:03:30.280> else<00:03:30.760> will<00:03:31.239> design<00:03:31.560> it
your life someone else will design it
your life someone else will design it
for<00:03:32.040> you<00:03:32.680> and<00:03:32.799> you<00:03:33.000> may<00:03:33.400> just<00:03:33.680> not<00:03:33.959> like<00:03:34.360> their
for you and you may just not like their
for you and you may just not like their
idea<00:03:34.959> of
idea of
idea of
balance<00:03:37.080> it's<00:03:37.400> particularly
balance it's particularly
balance it's particularly
important<00:03:39.760> this<00:03:39.879> isn't<00:03:40.080> on<00:03:40.200> the<00:03:40.239> worldwide
important this isn't on the worldwide
important this isn't on the worldwide
web<00:03:40.760> is<00:03:40.840> it<00:03:40.920> I'm<00:03:41.040> about<00:03:41.159> to<00:03:41.239> get<00:03:41.319> fired<00:03:41.840> it's
web is it I'm about to get fired it's
web is it I'm about to get fired it's
particularly<00:03:42.920> important<00:03:43.920> that<00:03:44.080> you<00:03:44.439> never
particularly important that you never
particularly important that you never
put<00:03:45.080> the<00:03:45.239> quality<00:03:45.560> of<00:03:45.760> your<00:03:46.040> life<00:03:46.599> in<00:03:46.720> the
put the quality of your life in the
put the quality of your life in the
hands<00:03:47.319> of<00:03:47.439> a<00:03:47.599> commercial
hands of a commercial
hands of a commercial
Corporation<00:03:50.480> now<00:03:50.680> I'm<00:03:50.840> not<00:03:51.120> talking<00:03:51.560> here
Corporation now I'm not talking here
Corporation now I'm not talking here
just<00:03:52.159> about<00:03:52.439> the<00:03:52.680> bad<00:03:53.000> companies<00:03:53.519> the<00:03:53.879> the
just about the bad companies the the
just about the bad companies the the
abattoirs<00:03:54.640> of<00:03:54.760> the<00:03:54.879> human<00:03:55.159> soul<00:03:55.480> as<00:03:55.560> I<00:03:55.680> call
abattoirs of the human soul as I call
abattoirs of the human soul as I call
them<00:03:58.760> I'm<00:03:58.920> talking<00:03:59.239> about<00:04:00.040> all<00:04:00.760> companies
them I'm talking about all companies
them I'm talking about all companies
because<00:04:02.079> commercial<00:04:02.760> companies<00:04:03.159> are
because commercial companies are
because commercial companies are
inherently<00:04:04.519> designed<00:04:05.519> to<00:04:05.720> get<00:04:05.920> as<00:04:06.280> much<00:04:06.599> out
inherently designed to get as much out
inherently designed to get as much out
of<00:04:07.000> you<00:04:07.720> as<00:04:07.920> they<00:04:08.040> can<00:04:08.239> get<00:04:08.439> away<00:04:08.760> with<00:04:09.760> it's<00:04:10.000> in
of you as they can get away with it's in
of you as they can get away with it's in
their<00:04:10.519> nature<00:04:10.920> it's<00:04:11.120> in<00:04:11.280> their<00:04:11.480> DNA<00:04:11.959> it's<00:04:12.200> what
their nature it's in their DNA it's what
their nature it's in their DNA it's what
they<00:04:12.560> do<00:04:13.239> even<00:04:13.680> the<00:04:13.959> good<00:04:14.239> well-intentioned
they do even the good well-intentioned
they do even the good well-intentioned
companies<00:04:16.560> on<00:04:16.759> the<00:04:16.959> one<00:04:17.320> hand<00:04:18.040> putting<00:04:18.519> child
companies on the one hand putting child
companies on the one hand putting child
care<00:04:19.199> facilities<00:04:19.639> in<00:04:19.759> the<00:04:19.919> workplace<00:04:20.600> is
care facilities in the workplace is
care facilities in the workplace is
wonderful<00:04:21.440> and
wonderful and
wonderful and
enlightened<00:04:23.199> on<00:04:23.360> the<00:04:23.520> other<00:04:23.840> hand<00:04:24.080> it's<00:04:24.199> a
enlightened on the other hand it's a
enlightened on the other hand it's a
nightmare<00:04:25.000> that<00:04:25.160> just<00:04:25.320> means<00:04:25.600> you<00:04:25.759> spend<00:04:26.080> more
nightmare that just means you spend more
nightmare that just means you spend more
time<00:04:26.520> at<00:04:26.639> the<00:04:26.759> bloody
time at the bloody
time at the bloody
office<00:04:29.440> we<00:04:29.639> we<00:04:29.840> have<00:04:29.960> to<00:04:30.120> be<00:04:30.320> responsible<00:04:31.080> for
office we we have to be responsible for
office we we have to be responsible for
setting<00:04:31.960> and<00:04:32.479> enforcing<00:04:33.479> the<00:04:33.680> boundaries
setting and enforcing the boundaries
setting and enforcing the boundaries
that<00:04:34.680> we<00:04:34.800> want<00:04:35.000> in<00:04:35.120> our
that we want in our
that we want in our
life<00:04:37.680> the<00:04:37.800> third<00:04:38.360> observation<00:04:39.360> is<00:04:39.600> we<00:04:39.800> have<00:04:39.919> to
life the third observation is we have to
life the third observation is we have to
be<00:04:40.880> careful<00:04:41.840> with<00:04:42.000> the<00:04:42.360> time<00:04:42.800> frame<00:04:43.800> that<00:04:43.960> we
be careful with the time frame that we
be careful with the time frame that we
choose<00:04:45.120> upon<00:04:45.400> which<00:04:45.639> to<00:04:45.800> judge<00:04:46.080> our
choose upon which to judge our
choose upon which to judge our
balance<00:04:48.400> before<00:04:48.680> I<00:04:48.800> went<00:04:49.039> back<00:04:49.199> to<00:04:49.680> work<00:04:50.440> after
balance before I went back to work after
balance before I went back to work after
my<00:04:50.840> year<00:04:51.280> at<00:04:51.479> home<00:04:52.360> I<00:04:52.560> I<00:04:52.720> sat<00:04:53.160> down<00:04:54.160> and<00:04:54.280> I<00:04:54.400> wrote
my year at home I I sat down and I wrote
my year at home I I sat down and I wrote
out<00:04:55.000> a<00:04:56.160> detailed
out a detailed
out a detailed
stepbystep<00:04:58.759> description<00:05:00.000> of<00:05:00.199> the<00:05:00.520> ideal
stepbystep description of the ideal
stepbystep description of the ideal
balanced<00:05:01.960> day<00:05:02.600> that<00:05:02.759> I<00:05:03.000> aspired
balanced day that I aspired
balanced day that I aspired
to<00:05:05.080> and<00:05:05.199> it<00:05:05.320> went<00:05:05.600> like<00:05:06.360> this<00:05:07.360> wake<00:05:07.720> up<00:05:08.440> well
to and it went like this wake up well
to and it went like this wake up well
rested<00:05:09.680> after<00:05:09.919> a<00:05:10.039> good<00:05:10.240> night's
rested after a good night's
rested after a good night's
sleep<00:05:12.479> have
sleep have
sleep have
sex<00:05:14.880> walk<00:05:15.240> the<00:05:15.639> dog<00:05:16.639> have<00:05:16.880> breakfast<00:05:17.479> with<00:05:17.680> my
sex walk the dog have breakfast with my
sex walk the dog have breakfast with my
wife<00:05:18.479> and
wife and
wife and
children<00:05:20.440> have<00:05:20.680> sex
children have sex
children have sex
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
again<00:05:24.440> Drive<00:05:24.720> the<00:05:24.880> kids<00:05:25.080> to<00:05:25.280> school<00:05:25.759> on<00:05:25.880> the
again Drive the kids to school on the
again Drive the kids to school on the
way<00:05:26.160> to<00:05:26.319> the<00:05:26.840> office<00:05:27.840> do<00:05:28.120> three<00:05:28.400> hours<00:05:28.759> work
way to the office do three hours work
way to the office do three hours work
play<00:05:30.280> sport<00:05:30.600> with<00:05:30.720> a<00:05:30.840> friend<00:05:31.039> at
play sport with a friend at
play sport with a friend at
lunchtime<00:05:32.919> do<00:05:33.120> another<00:05:33.360> three<00:05:33.600> hours<00:05:34.160> work
lunchtime do another three hours work
lunchtime do another three hours work
meet<00:05:35.440> some<00:05:35.639> mates<00:05:35.960> in<00:05:36.080> the<00:05:36.199> pub<00:05:36.440> for<00:05:36.560> an<00:05:36.680> early
meet some mates in the pub for an early
meet some mates in the pub for an early
evening
evening
evening
drink<00:05:39.000> drive<00:05:39.479> home<00:05:40.160> for<00:05:40.440> dinner<00:05:41.240> with<00:05:41.440> my<00:05:41.680> wife
drink drive home for dinner with my wife
drink drive home for dinner with my wife
and<00:05:42.880> kids<00:05:43.880> meditate<00:05:44.400> for<00:05:44.600> half<00:05:44.759> an<00:05:45.360> hour<00:05:46.360> have
and kids meditate for half an hour have
and kids meditate for half an hour have
sex<00:05:48.440> walk<00:05:48.759> the<00:05:49.319> dog<00:05:50.319> have<00:05:50.520> sex<00:05:51.400> again<00:05:52.400> go<00:05:52.560> to
[Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause]
bed<00:05:59.840> how<00:06:00.000> often<00:06:00.240> do<00:06:00.360> you<00:06:00.479> think<00:06:00.600> I<00:06:00.720> had<00:06:00.880> that
bed how often do you think I had that
bed how often do you think I had that
day<00:06:04.039> uh<00:06:04.440> we<00:06:04.560> we<00:06:04.680> need<00:06:04.840> to<00:06:05.000> be<00:06:05.560> realistic<00:06:06.560> you
day uh we we need to be realistic you
day uh we we need to be realistic you
can't<00:06:07.039> do<00:06:07.199> it<00:06:07.560> all<00:06:08.120> in<00:06:08.319> one<00:06:08.639> day<00:06:09.080> we<00:06:09.199> need<00:06:09.360> to
can't do it all in one day we need to
can't do it all in one day we need to
elongate<00:06:11.000> the<00:06:11.199> time<00:06:11.479> frame<00:06:11.840> upon<00:06:12.120> which<00:06:12.240> we
elongate the time frame upon which we
elongate the time frame upon which we
judge<00:06:12.880> the<00:06:13.039> balance<00:06:13.400> in<00:06:13.520> our<00:06:13.759> life<00:06:14.000> but<00:06:14.080> we
judge the balance in our life but we
judge the balance in our life but we
need<00:06:14.319> to<00:06:14.479> elongate<00:06:15.080> it<00:06:15.840> without<00:06:16.240> falling<00:06:16.639> into
need to elongate it without falling into
need to elongate it without falling into
the<00:06:17.120> Trap<00:06:17.880> of<00:06:18.039> the<00:06:18.199> I'll<00:06:18.479> have<00:06:18.599> a<00:06:18.840> life<00:06:19.199> when<00:06:19.360> I
the Trap of the I'll have a life when I
the Trap of the I'll have a life when I
retire<00:06:21.000> when<00:06:21.199> my<00:06:21.400> kids<00:06:21.599> have<00:06:21.800> left<00:06:22.080> home<00:06:22.720> when
retire when my kids have left home when
retire when my kids have left home when
my<00:06:23.360> wife<00:06:23.599> has<00:06:23.759> divorced<00:06:24.240> me<00:06:24.680> my<00:06:24.840> health<00:06:25.120> is
my wife has divorced me my health is
my wife has divorced me my health is
failing<00:06:25.800> I've<00:06:25.960> got<00:06:26.080> no<00:06:26.240> mates<00:06:26.560> or<00:06:26.759> interests
failing I've got no mates or interests
failing I've got no mates or interests
left<00:06:29.560> a<00:06:29.759> day<00:06:29.919> is<00:06:30.120> too<00:06:30.360> short<00:06:31.000> after<00:06:31.240> our<00:06:31.440> retire
left a day is too short after our retire
left a day is too short after our retire
is<00:06:32.039> too<00:06:32.280> long<00:06:32.560> there's<00:06:32.800> got<00:06:32.919> to<00:06:33.080> be<00:06:33.280> a<00:06:33.400> middle
is too long there's got to be a middle
is too long there's got to be a middle
way<00:06:36.360> a<00:06:36.520> fourth<00:06:37.120> observation<00:06:38.120> we<00:06:38.280> need<00:06:38.440> to
way a fourth observation we need to
way a fourth observation we need to
approach<00:06:40.000> balance<00:06:41.000> in<00:06:41.120> a<00:06:41.319> balanced
approach balance in a balanced
approach balance in a balanced
way<00:06:43.479> a<00:06:43.639> friend<00:06:44.080> came<00:06:44.240> to<00:06:44.360> see<00:06:44.599> me<00:06:45.039> last<00:06:45.240> year
way a friend came to see me last year
way a friend came to see me last year
and<00:06:45.599> she<00:06:45.720> doesn't<00:06:46.080> mind<00:06:46.280> me<00:06:46.400> telling<00:06:46.639> the
and she doesn't mind me telling the
and she doesn't mind me telling the
story<00:06:47.319> a<00:06:47.400> friend<00:06:47.639> came<00:06:47.800> to<00:06:47.880> see<00:06:48.039> me<00:06:48.280> last<00:06:48.479> year
story a friend came to see me last year
story a friend came to see me last year
and<00:06:49.000> said<00:06:49.199> Nigel<00:06:49.599> I've<00:06:49.800> read<00:06:50.000> your<00:06:50.199> book<00:06:50.680> and<00:06:50.759> I
and said Nigel I've read your book and I
and said Nigel I've read your book and I
realized<00:06:51.199> that<00:06:51.360> my<00:06:51.520> life<00:06:51.720> is<00:06:51.960> completely<00:06:52.479> out
realized that my life is completely out
realized that my life is completely out
of<00:06:52.840> balance<00:06:53.599> it's<00:06:54.120> totally<00:06:54.880> dominated<00:06:55.479> by
of balance it's totally dominated by
of balance it's totally dominated by
work<00:06:56.639> I<00:06:56.759> work<00:06:57.080> 10<00:06:57.360> hours<00:06:57.599> a<00:06:57.800> day<00:06:58.039> I<00:06:58.199> commute<00:06:58.599> 2
work I work 10 hours a day I commute 2
work I work 10 hours a day I commute 2
hours<00:06:59.039> a<00:06:59.199> day
hours a day
hours a day
all<00:07:00.280> my<00:07:00.440> relationships<00:07:01.000> have<00:07:01.199> failed<00:07:01.960> there's
all my relationships have failed there's
all my relationships have failed there's
nothing<00:07:02.840> in<00:07:03.039> my<00:07:03.319> life<00:07:03.560> apart<00:07:03.840> from<00:07:04.039> my<00:07:04.360> work<00:07:05.360> so
nothing in my life apart from my work so
nothing in my life apart from my work so
I've<00:07:05.800> decided<00:07:06.599> to<00:07:06.840> get<00:07:06.960> a<00:07:07.160> grip<00:07:07.479> and<00:07:07.599> sort<00:07:07.879> it
I've decided to get a grip and sort it
I've decided to get a grip and sort it
out<00:07:09.440> so<00:07:09.639> I<00:07:09.800> joined<00:07:10.080> a
gym<00:07:13.919> now<00:07:14.280> I<00:07:14.440> don't<00:07:14.800> mean<00:07:15.479> to<00:07:16.000> mock<00:07:17.000> but<00:07:17.240> being<00:07:17.520> a
gym now I don't mean to mock but being a
gym now I don't mean to mock but being a
fit<00:07:18.280> 10-hour<00:07:18.800> a<00:07:18.919> day<00:07:19.199> office<00:07:19.520> rat<00:07:20.479> isn't<00:07:20.879> more
fit 10-hour a day office rat isn't more
fit 10-hour a day office rat isn't more
balanced<00:07:21.919> it's<00:07:22.160> more
balanced it's more
balanced it's more
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
fit<00:07:26.319> lovely<00:07:27.039> though<00:07:27.240> physical<00:07:27.599> exercise<00:07:28.120> may
fit lovely though physical exercise may
fit lovely though physical exercise may
be<00:07:28.720> there<00:07:28.840> are<00:07:29.000> other<00:07:29.479> parts<00:07:29.800> to<00:07:30.080> life<00:07:30.639> there's
be there are other parts to life there's
be there are other parts to life there's
the<00:07:30.960> intellectual<00:07:31.599> side<00:07:31.840> there's<00:07:32.000> the
the intellectual side there's the
the intellectual side there's the
emotional<00:07:32.639> side<00:07:32.879> there's<00:07:33.039> the<00:07:33.280> spiritual
emotional side there's the spiritual
emotional side there's the spiritual
side<00:07:34.520> and<00:07:34.639> to<00:07:34.800> be<00:07:35.599> balanced<00:07:36.599> I<00:07:36.800> believe<00:07:37.240> we
side and to be balanced I believe we
side and to be balanced I believe we
have<00:07:37.599> to<00:07:37.840> attend<00:07:38.280> to<00:07:38.639> all<00:07:38.879> of<00:07:39.120> those<00:07:39.440> areas<00:07:40.280> not
have to attend to all of those areas not
have to attend to all of those areas not
just<00:07:40.639> do<00:07:40.879> 50<00:07:41.120> stomach
just do 50 stomach
just do 50 stomach
crunches<00:07:43.720> now<00:07:44.319> that<00:07:44.479> can<00:07:44.639> be<00:07:44.800> daunting<00:07:45.759> cuz
crunches now that can be daunting cuz
crunches now that can be daunting cuz
people<00:07:46.159> say<00:07:46.360> bloody<00:07:46.680> hell<00:07:46.879> mate<00:07:47.240> I<00:07:47.360> haven't
people say bloody hell mate I haven't
people say bloody hell mate I haven't
got<00:07:47.680> time<00:07:47.800> to<00:07:47.960> get<00:07:48.120> fit<00:07:48.680> you<00:07:48.759> want<00:07:48.919> me<00:07:49.000> to<00:07:49.080> go<00:07:49.199> to
got time to get fit you want me to go to
got time to get fit you want me to go to
church<00:07:49.520> and<00:07:49.639> call<00:07:49.800> my<00:07:50.360> mother<00:07:51.360> and<00:07:51.520> I
church and call my mother and I
church and call my mother and I
understand<00:07:52.919> I<00:07:53.080> I<00:07:53.360> truly<00:07:54.280> understand<00:07:54.560> how<00:07:54.720> that
understand I I truly understand how that
understand I I truly understand how that
can<00:07:54.960> be<00:07:55.120> daunting<00:07:56.120> but<00:07:56.240> an<00:07:56.440> incident<00:07:57.159> that
can be daunting but an incident that
can be daunting but an incident that
happened<00:07:57.639> a<00:07:57.720> couple<00:07:57.960> of<00:07:58.120> years<00:07:58.319> ago<00:07:58.919> gave<00:07:59.120> me<00:07:59.360> A
happened a couple of years ago gave me A
happened a couple of years ago gave me A
New<00:07:59.960> Perspective<00:08:00.960> my<00:08:01.120> wife<00:08:01.319> who<00:08:01.440> was
New Perspective my wife who was
New Perspective my wife who was
somewhere<00:08:01.800> in<00:08:01.879> the<00:08:02.000> audience<00:08:02.879> uh<00:08:03.000> today
somewhere in the audience uh today
somewhere in the audience uh today
called<00:08:04.240> me<00:08:04.400> up<00:08:04.680> at<00:08:04.800> the<00:08:05.240> office<00:08:06.240> and<00:08:06.400> said
called me up at the office and said
called me up at the office and said
Nigel<00:08:07.800> you<00:08:07.879> need<00:08:08.039> to<00:08:08.240> pick<00:08:08.520> our<00:08:08.680> younger<00:08:09.000> son
Nigel you need to pick our younger son
Nigel you need to pick our younger son
up<00:08:09.400> Harry<00:08:10.080> from<00:08:10.400> school<00:08:11.400> she<00:08:11.520> had<00:08:11.639> to<00:08:11.720> be
up Harry from school she had to be
up Harry from school she had to be
somewhere<00:08:12.120> else<00:08:12.280> with<00:08:12.400> the<00:08:12.520> other<00:08:12.720> three
somewhere else with the other three
somewhere else with the other three
children<00:08:13.240> for<00:08:13.400> that<00:08:14.000> evening<00:08:15.000> so<00:08:15.159> I<00:08:15.360> left<00:08:15.639> work
children for that evening so I left work
children for that evening so I left work
an<00:08:16.319> hour<00:08:16.560> early<00:08:16.879> that<00:08:17.360> afternoon<00:08:18.360> and<00:08:18.560> picked
an hour early that afternoon and picked
an hour early that afternoon and picked
Harry<00:08:19.280> up<00:08:19.599> at<00:08:19.759> the<00:08:19.840> school<00:08:20.560> Gates<00:08:21.560> we<00:08:21.720> walked
Harry up at the school Gates we walked
Harry up at the school Gates we walked
down<00:08:22.159> to<00:08:22.280> the<00:08:22.400> local<00:08:23.080> park<00:08:24.080> messed<00:08:24.400> around<00:08:24.639> on
down to the local park messed around on
down to the local park messed around on
the<00:08:24.879> swings<00:08:25.400> played<00:08:25.639> some<00:08:25.800> silly<00:08:26.159> games<00:08:27.159> I
the swings played some silly games I
the swings played some silly games I
then<00:08:27.440> walked<00:08:27.720> him<00:08:27.840> up<00:08:27.960> the<00:08:28.080> hill<00:08:28.240> to<00:08:28.360> the<00:08:28.479> local
then walked him up the hill to the local
then walked him up the hill to the local
cafe<00:08:29.680> and<00:08:29.879> we<00:08:29.960> shared<00:08:30.199> a<00:08:30.360> pizza<00:08:30.759> for
cafe and we shared a pizza for
cafe and we shared a pizza for
tea<00:08:32.599> then<00:08:32.760> walked<00:08:33.080> down<00:08:33.279> the<00:08:33.399> hill<00:08:33.599> to<00:08:33.760> our
tea then walked down the hill to our
tea then walked down the hill to our
home<00:08:35.159> uh<00:08:35.279> and<00:08:35.360> I<00:08:35.479> gave<00:08:35.640> him<00:08:35.760> his<00:08:36.000> bath<00:08:36.760> and<00:08:36.880> put
home uh and I gave him his bath and put
home uh and I gave him his bath and put
him<00:08:37.159> in<00:08:37.320> his<00:08:37.479> Batman
him in his Batman
him in his Batman
pajamas<00:08:39.440> I<00:08:39.599> then<00:08:39.839> read<00:08:40.120> him<00:08:40.360> a<00:08:40.519> chapter<00:08:40.919> of<00:08:41.080> R
pajamas I then read him a chapter of R
pajamas I then read him a chapter of R
DARS<00:08:41.880> James<00:08:42.240> and<00:08:42.360> the<00:08:42.479> Giant<00:08:43.240> Peach<00:08:44.240> I<00:08:44.360> then
DARS James and the Giant Peach I then
DARS James and the Giant Peach I then
put<00:08:44.640> him<00:08:44.760> to<00:08:44.920> bed<00:08:45.240> tucked<00:08:45.519> him<00:08:45.640> in<00:08:45.839> gave<00:08:46.000> him<00:08:46.080> a
put him to bed tucked him in gave him a
put him to bed tucked him in gave him a
kiss<00:08:46.360> on<00:08:46.440> his<00:08:46.560> forehead<00:08:46.920> and<00:08:47.040> said<00:08:47.279> good<00:08:47.440> night
kiss on his forehead and said good night
kiss on his forehead and said good night
mate<00:08:48.640> and<00:08:48.800> walked<00:08:49.120> out<00:08:49.600> of<00:08:49.760> his<00:08:50.320> bedroom<00:08:51.320> as<00:08:51.440> I
mate and walked out of his bedroom as I
mate and walked out of his bedroom as I
was<00:08:51.720> walking<00:08:52.000> out<00:08:52.440> of<00:08:52.560> his<00:08:52.680> bedroom<00:08:53.000> he<00:08:53.080> said
was walking out of his bedroom he said
was walking out of his bedroom he said
dad<00:08:54.440> I<00:08:54.560> went<00:08:54.760> yes<00:08:54.920> mate<00:08:55.560> he<00:08:55.720> went<00:08:55.959> dad<00:08:56.399> this<00:08:56.519> has
dad I went yes mate he went dad this has
dad I went yes mate he went dad this has
been<00:08:56.839> the<00:08:57.040> best<00:08:57.399> day<00:08:58.040> of<00:08:58.279> my<00:08:58.600> life
ever<00:09:03.200> I<00:09:03.279> hadn't<00:09:03.519> done
ever I hadn't done
ever I hadn't done
anything<00:09:05.399> hadn't<00:09:05.640> taken<00:09:05.839> him<00:09:05.920> to<00:09:06.040> Disney
anything hadn't taken him to Disney
anything hadn't taken him to Disney
World<00:09:06.480> or<00:09:06.560> bought<00:09:06.720> him<00:09:06.800> a
World or bought him a
World or bought him a
PlayStation<00:09:08.640> now<00:09:08.880> my<00:09:09.079> point<00:09:09.440> is<00:09:10.000> the<00:09:10.279> small
PlayStation now my point is the small
PlayStation now my point is the small
things
things
things
matter<00:09:13.800> being<00:09:14.160> more<00:09:14.519> balanced<00:09:15.360> doesn't<00:09:16.079> mean
matter being more balanced doesn't mean
matter being more balanced doesn't mean
dramatic<00:09:17.240> upheaval<00:09:17.839> in<00:09:18.000> your<00:09:18.240> life<00:09:18.720> with<00:09:18.880> the
dramatic upheaval in your life with the
dramatic upheaval in your life with the
smallest<00:09:20.040> investment<00:09:21.040> in<00:09:21.200> the<00:09:21.440> right<00:09:21.760> places
smallest investment in the right places
smallest investment in the right places
you<00:09:22.720> can<00:09:23.200> radically<00:09:23.800> transform<00:09:24.440> the<00:09:24.640> quality
you can radically transform the quality
you can radically transform the quality
of<00:09:25.120> your<00:09:25.279> relationships<00:09:26.200> and<00:09:26.320> the<00:09:26.480> quality<00:09:26.839> of
of your relationships and the quality of
of your relationships and the quality of
your<00:09:27.200> life<00:09:28.160> moreover<00:09:29.360> I<00:09:29.519> think<00:09:29.959> it<00:09:30.120> can
your life moreover I think it can
your life moreover I think it can
transform<00:09:31.480> Society<00:09:32.480> because<00:09:32.680> if<00:09:32.920> enough
transform Society because if enough
transform Society because if enough
people<00:09:33.760> do<00:09:34.079> it<00:09:34.720> we<00:09:34.880> can<00:09:35.079> change<00:09:35.680> society's
people do it we can change society's
people do it we can change society's
definition<00:09:36.800> of<00:09:37.440> success<00:09:38.440> away<00:09:38.800> from<00:09:39.000> the
definition of success away from the
definition of success away from the
moronically<00:09:40.040> simplistic<00:09:40.600> notion<00:09:41.200> that<00:09:41.360> the
moronically simplistic notion that the
moronically simplistic notion that the
person<00:09:41.800> with<00:09:41.959> the<00:09:42.079> most<00:09:42.279> money<00:09:42.600> when<00:09:42.720> he<00:09:42.839> dies
person with the most money when he dies
person with the most money when he dies
wins<00:09:44.320> to<00:09:44.519> a<00:09:44.640> more<00:09:44.959> thoughtful<00:09:45.920> and<00:09:46.240> balanced
wins to a more thoughtful and balanced
wins to a more thoughtful and balanced
definition<00:09:48.079> of<00:09:48.240> what<00:09:48.360> a<00:09:48.600> life<00:09:49.040> well-lived
definition of what a life well-lived
definition of what a life well-lived
looks
looks
looks
like<00:09:51.760> and<00:09:52.079> that<00:09:52.600> I<00:09:52.720> think<00:09:53.279> is<00:09:53.399> an<00:09:53.560> idea<00:09:53.880> worth
spreading
Work–life Balance (Literature Subject), Nigel Marsh, TED, TEDx, TEDxSydney, empoyer employee family career TED-Ed TED Ed, TEDEducation
