How to overcome your mistakes
In a 2019 study, over 400 participants
were enlisted to learn
a mysterious, invented language.
Individuals were asked
about three pairs of runes—
for example, which of these two characters
represents an animal?
Then, after a brief break,
they were asked about the same rune pairs
with questions flipped,
as in, which of these two runes
represents a non-living object?
But this game had a secret—
The subjects’ answers in round one
determined the runes’ meanings
in round two.
In the first round,
participants either had all their answers
marked as correct no matter what,
or they were forced to fail
every question.
This meant that at the break,
every participant had
the same amount of information,
and in round two
they were playing for real.
But despite this even playing field,
the successful participants from round one
rose to the top of the ranks,
while those cast as failures kept,
well, failing.
People often describe failure
as a teachable moment—
a necessary stumble
on our way to improvement.
But learning from our mistakes
isn't always easy,
especially when those failures
are demoralizing, overwhelming,
or just downright confusing.
So what exactly prevents us from turning
our mistakes into mastery?
Perhaps the most obvious hurdle
to learning from failure
is how painful it can be.
People generally want to think
of themselves as capable and competent,
and experiencing failure threatens
that self-image.
In a survey following a replication
of the rune study,
participants in the failure group
indicated much lower levels
of self-confidence after participating.
It’s tempting to dismiss this
pain as a temporary setback.
But some studies have found that when
people feel demoralized or incompetent,
their brains often stop processing
new information.
This suggests that if a threat
to your self-esteem is large enough,
it can undermine your ability to learn.
However, your tolerance for failure
also depends on your relationship
with the task at hand.
In a study from 2011, researchers surveyed
a group of American students
enrolled in introductory and advanced
French courses.
These students completed a questionnaire
asking what kind of teacher
they preferred—
one who emphasized their
strengths and successes,
or one who highlighted their mistakes
and corrected their weaknesses.
In general, responses showed
that while beginner students
sought positive reinforcement,
advanced students were more eager
for critical feedback.
Researchers have theorized a handful
of explanations for these results.
Having just started out,
beginners are still determining
if they enjoy learning French
and if they want to continue studying,
so they might crave praise
as a way to stay motivated.
On the other hand, the advanced students
are already invested,
so they may want to improve their skills
as efficiently as possible.
The process of gaining expertise also
comes with its fair share of failure,
so the advanced students may have built
a higher tolerance for making mistakes.
But whether you're an expert or a novice,
it’s usually much more straightforward
to learn from your successes
than your failures.
For example, imagine getting
your grade back on an exam.
If you aced it, you could reasonably
assume you made good choices
around when, what, and how much to study,
and you can replicate those decisions
for the next test.
But if you failed,
it could be for any number of reasons.
Maybe you didn’t study enough,
maybe you studied the wrong information,
or maybe you did everything right
and the test covered things you shouldn't
have been expected to know.
In cases like this,
it’s unclear exactly what went wrong,
making it difficult to learn
how to improve.
Wanting to learn from our failures
is completely natural,
and there’s a lot to gain
by being resilient
and cultivating a growth mindset.
But fixating on your failures can make
it easy to forget all your successes.
And building on what you’re doing right
can be more effective
than focusing on what you did wrong.
