Is it normal to talk to yourself?
As your morning alarm blares,
you mutter to yourself,
“Why did I set it so early?”
While brushing your teeth,
you think,
“I need a haircut... unless?”
Rushing out the front door,
you reach for your keys
and realize they’re not there.
Frustrated you shout,
“I can’t do anything right!”
just in time to notice your neighbor.
Being caught talking to yourself
can feel embarrassing,
and some people even stigmatize this
behavior as a sign of mental instability.
But decades of psychology research show
that talking to yourself
is completely normal.
In fact, most, if not all, of us engage
in some form of self-talk
every single day.
So why do we talk to ourselves?
And does what we say matter?
Self-talk refers to the narration
inside your head,
sometimes called inner speech.
It differs from mental imagery
or recalling facts and figures.
Specifically, psychologists
define self-talk
as verbalized thoughts directed toward
yourself or some facet of your life.
This includes personal conversations like
“I need to work on my free throw.”
But it also includes reflections
you have throughout the day,
like “The gym is crowded tonight.
I’ll come back tomorrow.”
And while most self-talk
in adults tends to be silent,
speaking to yourself out loud
also falls into this category.
In fact, psychologists believe our first
experiences with self-talk
are mostly vocal,
as children often speak to themselves
out loud as they play.
In the 1930s, Russian psychologist
Lev Vygotsky hypothesized
that this kind of speech was
actually key to development.
By repeating conversations
they’ve had with adults,
children practice managing their behaviors
and emotions on their own.
Then, as they grow older, this outward
self-talk tends to become internalized,
morphing into a private inner dialogue.
We know this internal self-talk
is important,
and can help you plan,
work through difficult situations,
and even motivate you throughout the day.
But studying self-talk can be difficult.
It relies on study subjects clearly
tracking a behavior that’s spontaneous
and often done without conscious control.
For this reason, scientists are still
working to answer basic questions,
like, why do some people
self-talk more than others?
What areas of the brain are activated
during self-talk?
And how does this activation differ
from normal conversation?
One thing we know for certain, however,
is that what you say in these
conversations can have real impacts
on your attitude and performance.
Engaging in self-talk
that’s instructional or motivational
has been shown to increase focus,
boost self-esteem,
and help tackle everyday tasks.
For example, one study
of collegiate tennis players
found that incorporating instructional
self-talk into practice
increased their concentration
and accuracy.
And just as chatting to a friend
can help decrease stress,
speaking directly to yourself may also
help you regulate your emotions.
Distanced self-talk is when
you talk to yourself,
as if in conversation with another person.
So, rather than
“I’m going to crush this exam,”
you might think,
“Caleb, you are prepared for this test!”
One study found that this kind
of self-talk was especially beneficial
for reducing stress
when engaging in anxiety-inducing tasks,
such as meeting new people
or public speaking.
But where positive self-talk can help you,
negative self-talk can harm you.
Most people are critical
of themselves occasionally,
but when this behavior gets too frequent
or excessively negative,
it can become toxic.
High levels of negative self-talk
are often predictive
of anxiety in children and adults.
And those who constantly blame themselves
for their problems
and ruminate on those situations
typically experience
more intense feelings of depression.
Today, there’s a field
of psychological treatment
called cognitive behavioral therapy,
or CBT,
which is partially focused on regulating
the tone of self-talk.
Cognitive behavioral therapists
often teach strategies
to identify cycles of negative thoughts
and replace them with neutral
or more compassionate reflections.
Over time, these tools can improve
one's mental health.
So the next time you find yourself
chatting with yourself,
remember to be kind.
That inner voice is a partner you’ll be
talking to for many years to come.
