Cú Chulainn, hero of Ulster,
stood at the ford at Cooley,
ready to face an entire army
singlehandedly—
all for the sake of a single bull.
The army in question belonged
to Queen Meadhbh of Connaught.
Enraged at her husband’s possession
of a white bull of awesome strength,
she had set out to capture
the fabled brown bull of Ulster
at any cost.
Unfortunately, the King of Ulster
had chosen this moment
to force the goddess Macha to race
her chariot while pregnant.
In retaliation, she struck down him
and his entire army with stomach cramps
that eerily resembled childbirth—
all except Cú Chulainn.
Though he was the best warrior in Ulster,
Cú Chulainn knew he could not take on
Queen Meadhbh’s whole army at once.
He invoked the sacred rite
of single combat
in order to fight
the intruders one by one.
But as Queen Meadhbh’s army
approached,
one thing worried him
more than the grueling ordeal ahead.
Years before, Cú Chulainn had travelled
to Scotland
to train with the renowned
warrior Scáthach.
There, he met a young warrior
from Connaught named Ferdiad.
They lived and trained side-by-side,
and soon became close friends.
When they returned
to their respective homes,
Cú Chulainn and Ferdiad found themselves
on opposite sides of a war.
Cú Chulainn knew Ferdiad
was marching in Meadhbh’s army,
and that if he succeeded
in fending off her troops,
they would eventually meet.
Day after day, Cú Chulainn
defended Ulster alone.
He sent the heads of some
of his adversaries back to Meadhbh’s camp,
while the rushing waters of the ford
carried others away.
At times, he slipped into a trance
and slayed hundreds of soldiers in a row.
Whenever he saw the queen in the distance,
he hurled stones at her—
never quite hitting her,
but once coming close enough
to knock a squirrel off her shoulder.
Back at the Connaught camp,
Ferdiad was laying low,
doing everything he could
to avoid the moment
when he’d have to face
his best friend in combat.
But the Queen was impatient
to get her hands on the prize bull,
and she knew Ferdiad was
her best chance to defeat Cú Chulainn.
So she goaded him
and questioned his honor
until he had no choice but to fight.
The two faced off at the ford, matching
each other exactly in strength and skill
no matter what weapons they used.
Then, on the third day of their fight,
Ferdiad began to gain the upper hand
over the exhausted Cu Chulainn.
But Cú Chulainn had one last trick
up his sleeve:
their teacher had shared
a secret with him alone.
She told him how
to summon the Gáe Bulg,
a magical spear fashioned
from the bones of sea monsters
that lay at the bottom of the ocean.
Cu Chulainn called the spear,
stabbed Ferdiad to death, and collapsed.
Meadhbh seized her chance
and swooped in with the rest of her army
to capture the brown bull.
At last, the men of Ulster were recovering
from their magical illness,
and they surged out in pursuit.
But they were too late: Queen Meadhbh
crossed the border unscathed,
dragging the brown bull with her.
Once home, Meadhbh
demanded another battle,
this time between the brown bull
and her husband’s white bull.
The bulls were well matched,
and struggled into the night,
dragging each other all over Ireland.
At long last, the brown bull
killed the white bull,
and Queen Meadhbh was finally satisfied.
But the brown bull’s victory
meant nothing to him.
He was tired, injured, and devastated.
Soon after, he died of a broken heart,
leaving behind a land
that would remain ravaged
by Meadhbh’s war for years to come.