Your elusive creative genius - Elizabeth Gilbert
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I<00:00:16.199> am<00:00:16.359> a<00:00:16.720> writer<00:00:17.680> writing<00:00:18.039> books<00:00:18.480> is<00:00:18.640> my
I am a writer writing books is my
I am a writer writing books is my
profession<00:00:19.520> but<00:00:20.119> it's<00:00:20.279> more<00:00:20.480> than<00:00:20.680> that<00:00:20.880> of
profession but it's more than that of
profession but it's more than that of
course<00:00:21.519> it<00:00:21.640> is<00:00:21.840> also<00:00:22.320> my<00:00:22.560> great<00:00:22.960> Lifelong<00:00:23.720> Love
course it is also my great Lifelong Love
course it is also my great Lifelong Love
and<00:00:24.760> Fascination<00:00:25.760> and<00:00:26.000> I<00:00:26.080> don't<00:00:26.359> expect<00:00:27.000> that
and Fascination and I don't expect that
and Fascination and I don't expect that
that's<00:00:27.320> ever<00:00:27.519> going<00:00:27.599> to<00:00:27.760> change<00:00:28.599> but<00:00:29.439> that
that's ever going to change but that
that's ever going to change but that
said
said
said
um<00:00:31.000> something<00:00:31.400> kind<00:00:31.519> of<00:00:31.840> peculiar<00:00:32.559> has
um something kind of peculiar has
um something kind of peculiar has
happened<00:00:33.079> recently<00:00:33.559> in<00:00:33.719> my<00:00:33.920> life<00:00:34.680> and<00:00:34.800> in<00:00:34.960> my
happened recently in my life and in my
happened recently in my life and in my
career<00:00:35.680> which<00:00:35.840> has<00:00:36.000> caused<00:00:36.280> me<00:00:36.399> to<00:00:36.559> have<00:00:36.640> to
career which has caused me to have to
career which has caused me to have to
sort<00:00:37.000> of<00:00:37.360> recalibrate<00:00:38.360> my<00:00:38.520> whole
sort of recalibrate my whole
sort of recalibrate my whole
relationship<00:00:39.399> with<00:00:39.600> this<00:00:39.760> work<00:00:40.520> and<00:00:40.920> um<00:00:41.120> The
relationship with this work and um The
relationship with this work and um The
Peculiar<00:00:41.800> thing<00:00:42.640> is<00:00:42.800> that<00:00:42.920> I<00:00:43.039> recently<00:00:43.360> wrote
Peculiar thing is that I recently wrote
Peculiar thing is that I recently wrote
this<00:00:43.800> book<00:00:44.120> this<00:00:44.280> Memoir<00:00:44.760> called<00:00:44.960> eat<00:00:45.160> prey
this book this Memoir called eat prey
this book this Memoir called eat prey
love<00:00:46.079> um<00:00:46.559> which<00:00:47.360> decidedly<00:00:48.120> unlike<00:00:48.719> any<00:00:48.920> of<00:00:49.120> my
love um which decidedly unlike any of my
love um which decidedly unlike any of my
previous<00:00:49.800> books<00:00:50.440> um<00:00:50.640> went<00:00:50.840> out<00:00:51.000> in<00:00:51.160> the<00:00:51.280> world
previous books um went out in the world
previous books um went out in the world
for<00:00:52.120> some<00:00:52.320> reason<00:00:52.680> and<00:00:52.840> became<00:00:53.160> this<00:00:53.359> big<00:00:53.680> Mega
for some reason and became this big Mega
for some reason and became this big Mega
sensation<00:00:55.120> International<00:00:55.719> bestseller<00:00:56.399> thing
sensation International bestseller thing
sensation International bestseller thing
the<00:00:57.199> result<00:00:57.559> of<00:00:57.840> which<00:00:58.600> is<00:00:58.840> that<00:00:59.039> everywhere<00:00:59.399> I
the result of which is that everywhere I
the result of which is that everywhere I
go<00:00:59.760> now<00:00:59.960> now<00:01:00.160> people<00:01:00.359> treat<00:01:00.640> me<00:01:00.800> like<00:01:00.960> I'm
go now now people treat me like I'm
go now now people treat me like I'm
doomed<00:01:02.879> um<00:01:03.239> seriously<00:01:04.040> doomed<00:01:05.040> doomed<00:01:05.519> like
doomed um seriously doomed doomed like
doomed um seriously doomed doomed like
they<00:01:05.760> come<00:01:05.880> up<00:01:06.000> to<00:01:06.080> me<00:01:06.200> now<00:01:06.360> like<00:01:06.479> all<00:01:06.680> worried
they come up to me now like all worried
they come up to me now like all worried
and<00:01:07.159> they<00:01:07.320> say<00:01:07.880> aren't<00:01:08.080> you<00:01:08.320> afraid<00:01:09.080> um<00:01:09.240> aren't
and they say aren't you afraid um aren't
and they say aren't you afraid um aren't
you<00:01:09.560> afraid<00:01:09.880> you're<00:01:10.119> never<00:01:10.400> going<00:01:10.520> to<00:01:10.640> be<00:01:10.759> able
you afraid you're never going to be able
you afraid you're never going to be able
to<00:01:11.240> top<00:01:11.720> that<00:01:12.640> um<00:01:12.960> aren't<00:01:13.200> you<00:01:13.400> afraid<00:01:13.880> you're
to top that um aren't you afraid you're
to top that um aren't you afraid you're
going<00:01:14.119> to<00:01:14.320> keep<00:01:14.520> writing<00:01:14.799> for<00:01:15.000> your<00:01:15.159> whole
going to keep writing for your whole
going to keep writing for your whole
life<00:01:15.600> and<00:01:15.720> you're<00:01:15.960> never<00:01:16.320> again<00:01:16.600> going<00:01:16.680> to
life and you're never again going to
life and you're never again going to
create<00:01:17.439> a<00:01:17.600> book<00:01:17.840> that<00:01:18.000> anybody<00:01:18.400> in<00:01:18.479> the<00:01:18.600> world
create a book that anybody in the world
create a book that anybody in the world
cares<00:01:19.320> about<00:01:19.680> at<00:01:19.840> all<00:01:20.560> ever
cares about at all ever
cares about at all ever
again<00:01:23.000> so<00:01:23.200> that's<00:01:23.400> reassuring<00:01:24.240> you<00:01:24.360> know<00:01:24.799> um
again so that's reassuring you know um
again so that's reassuring you know um
but<00:01:25.320> it<00:01:25.400> would<00:01:25.560> be<00:01:25.720> worse<00:01:26.119> except<00:01:26.360> for<00:01:26.560> that<00:01:26.799> I
but it would be worse except for that I
but it would be worse except for that I
I<00:01:27.079> happen<00:01:27.320> to<00:01:27.520> remember<00:01:28.040> that<00:01:28.560> over<00:01:28.799> 20<00:01:29.079> years
I happen to remember that over 20 years
I happen to remember that over 20 years
ago<00:01:29.600> when<00:01:29.720> I<00:01:29.920> I<00:01:30.040> first<00:01:30.159> started<00:01:30.439> telling
ago when I I first started telling
ago when I I first started telling
people<00:01:30.920> when<00:01:31.000> I<00:01:31.079> was<00:01:31.200> a<00:01:31.280> teenager<00:01:31.759> that<00:01:31.880> I
people when I was a teenager that I
people when I was a teenager that I
wanted<00:01:32.200> to<00:01:32.360> be<00:01:32.479> a<00:01:32.640> writer<00:01:33.439> I<00:01:33.520> was<00:01:33.680> met<00:01:33.920> with
wanted to be a writer I was met with
wanted to be a writer I was met with
this<00:01:34.280> same<00:01:34.600> kind<00:01:34.759> of<00:01:35.119> sort<00:01:35.280> of<00:01:35.399> fear-based
this same kind of sort of fear-based
this same kind of sort of fear-based
reaction<00:01:36.479> and<00:01:36.640> people<00:01:36.880> would<00:01:37.040> say<00:01:37.520> aren't<00:01:37.720> you
reaction and people would say aren't you
reaction and people would say aren't you
afraid<00:01:38.560> you're<00:01:38.720> never<00:01:38.960> going<00:01:39.079> to<00:01:39.240> have<00:01:39.399> any
afraid you're never going to have any
afraid you're never going to have any
success<00:01:40.159> aren't<00:01:40.399> you<00:01:40.520> afraid<00:01:40.840> the
success aren't you afraid the
success aren't you afraid the
humiliation<00:01:41.520> of<00:01:41.759> rejection<00:01:42.479> will<00:01:42.720> kill<00:01:42.960> you
humiliation of rejection will kill you
humiliation of rejection will kill you
aren't<00:01:43.479> you<00:01:43.640> afraid<00:01:44.200> that<00:01:44.320> you're<00:01:44.439> going<00:01:44.520> to
aren't you afraid that you're going to
aren't you afraid that you're going to
work<00:01:44.799> your<00:01:44.960> whole<00:01:45.200> life<00:01:45.399> at<00:01:45.560> this<00:01:45.799> craft<00:01:46.119> and
work your whole life at this craft and
work your whole life at this craft and
nothing's<00:01:46.520> ever<00:01:46.680> going<00:01:46.799> to<00:01:46.920> come<00:01:47.040> of<00:01:47.159> it<00:01:47.240> and
nothing's ever going to come of it and
nothing's ever going to come of it and
you're<00:01:47.439> going<00:01:47.520> to<00:01:47.680> die<00:01:47.880> on<00:01:48.000> a<00:01:48.240> scrap<00:01:48.680> heap<00:01:48.920> of
you're going to die on a scrap heap of
you're going to die on a scrap heap of
Broken<00:01:49.600> Dreams<00:01:50.119> with<00:01:50.280> your<00:01:50.479> mouth<00:01:51.200> filled
Broken Dreams with your mouth filled
Broken Dreams with your mouth filled
with<00:01:51.840> bitter<00:01:52.240> Ash<00:01:52.680> of
with bitter Ash of
with bitter Ash of
failure<00:01:55.719> like<00:01:55.960> that<00:01:56.159> you<00:01:56.320> know<00:01:56.600> and<00:01:56.960> um<00:01:57.960> the
failure like that you know and um the
failure like that you know and um the
answer<00:01:59.280> short<00:01:59.560> answer<00:01:59.840> answer<00:02:00.200> to<00:02:00.320> all<00:02:00.479> those
answer short answer answer to all those
answer short answer answer to all those
questions<00:02:01.039> is<00:02:01.320> yes<00:02:02.240> um<00:02:02.880> yes<00:02:03.240> I'm<00:02:03.439> afraid<00:02:03.719> of
questions is yes um yes I'm afraid of
questions is yes um yes I'm afraid of
all<00:02:04.039> those<00:02:04.280> things<00:02:05.000> and<00:02:05.119> I<00:02:05.240> always<00:02:05.479> have<00:02:05.640> been
all those things and I always have been
all those things and I always have been
and<00:02:06.039> I'm<00:02:06.200> afraid<00:02:06.479> of<00:02:06.640> many<00:02:06.920> many<00:02:07.159> more<00:02:07.439> things
and I'm afraid of many many more things
and I'm afraid of many many more things
besides<00:02:08.440> that<00:02:09.000> you<00:02:09.119> know<00:02:09.319> people<00:02:09.560> can't<00:02:09.759> even
besides that you know people can't even
besides that you know people can't even
guess<00:02:10.239> at<00:02:10.640> like<00:02:11.640> um<00:02:11.800> seaweed<00:02:12.640> and<00:02:12.879> and<00:02:13.000> other
guess at like um seaweed and and other
guess at like um seaweed and and other
things<00:02:13.560> that<00:02:13.640> are<00:02:13.800> scary<00:02:14.680> but<00:02:15.080> when<00:02:15.200> it<00:02:15.319> comes
things that are scary but when it comes
things that are scary but when it comes
to<00:02:15.760> writing<00:02:16.519> um<00:02:16.879> the<00:02:17.120> the<00:02:17.239> thing<00:02:17.360> that<00:02:17.519> I've
to writing um the the thing that I've
to writing um the the thing that I've
been<00:02:17.720> sort<00:02:17.879> of<00:02:18.000> thinking<00:02:18.280> about<00:02:18.519> lately<00:02:18.800> and
been sort of thinking about lately and
been sort of thinking about lately and
wondering<00:02:19.239> about<00:02:19.480> lately<00:02:19.840> is<00:02:20.160> why<00:02:20.640> you<00:02:20.760> know
wondering about lately is why you know
wondering about lately is why you know
is<00:02:21.120> it<00:02:21.400> rational<00:02:22.360> is<00:02:22.480> it<00:02:22.720> logical<00:02:23.599> that<00:02:24.000> um
is it rational is it logical that um
is it rational is it logical that um
anybody<00:02:24.640> should<00:02:24.879> be<00:02:25.080> expected<00:02:25.959> to<00:02:26.120> be<00:02:26.319> afraid
anybody should be expected to be afraid
anybody should be expected to be afraid
of<00:02:26.920> the<00:02:27.080> work<00:02:27.360> that<00:02:27.480> they<00:02:27.599> feel<00:02:27.800> they<00:02:27.920> were<00:02:28.120> put
of the work that they feel they were put
of the work that they feel they were put
on<00:02:28.400> this<00:02:28.519> Earth<00:02:28.760> to<00:02:28.920> do<00:02:29.360> you<00:02:29.480> know<00:02:29.920> um<00:02:30.120> and<00:02:30.319> what
on this Earth to do you know um and what
on this Earth to do you know um and what
is<00:02:30.640> it<00:02:31.480> specifically<00:02:32.400> about<00:02:32.959> creative
is it specifically about creative
is it specifically about creative
Ventures<00:02:34.560> that<00:02:34.680> seems<00:02:35.000> to<00:02:35.239> make<00:02:35.440> us<00:02:35.720> really
Ventures that seems to make us really
Ventures that seems to make us really
nervous<00:02:36.400> about<00:02:36.599> each<00:02:36.720> other's<00:02:37.040> mental<00:02:37.360> health
nervous about each other's mental health
nervous about each other's mental health
in<00:02:38.120> a<00:02:38.319> way<00:02:38.519> that<00:02:38.720> other<00:02:39.000> careers<00:02:39.800> kind<00:02:39.920> of
in a way that other careers kind of
in a way that other careers kind of
don't<00:02:40.280> do<00:02:40.680> you<00:02:40.840> know<00:02:41.239> um<00:02:41.599> like<00:02:41.800> my<00:02:42.000> dad<00:02:42.680> for
don't do you know um like my dad for
don't do you know um like my dad for
example<00:02:43.360> was<00:02:43.480> a<00:02:43.640> chemical<00:02:44.000> engineer<00:02:44.840> and<00:02:45.080> um<00:02:45.280> I
example was a chemical engineer and um I
example was a chemical engineer and um I
don't<00:02:45.519> recall<00:02:45.920> once<00:02:46.319> in<00:02:46.480> his<00:02:46.640> 40<00:02:47.000> Years<00:02:47.319> of
don't recall once in his 40 Years of
don't recall once in his 40 Years of
chemical<00:02:47.840> engineering<00:02:48.360> anybody<00:02:48.800> asking<00:02:49.120> him
chemical engineering anybody asking him
chemical engineering anybody asking him
if<00:02:49.360> he<00:02:49.480> was<00:02:49.680> afraid<00:02:50.280> to<00:02:50.440> be<00:02:50.599> a<00:02:50.720> chemical
if he was afraid to be a chemical
if he was afraid to be a chemical
engineer<00:02:51.680> you<00:02:51.760> know<00:02:51.959> it<00:02:52.120> just<00:02:52.840> didn't<00:02:53.200> come
engineer you know it just didn't come
engineer you know it just didn't come
like<00:02:53.599> get<00:02:53.840> chemical<00:02:54.120> engineering<00:02:54.560> block<00:02:54.959> John
like get chemical engineering block John
like get chemical engineering block John
you<00:02:55.440> know<00:02:55.640> how's<00:02:55.840> it<00:02:56.000> going<00:02:56.560> and<00:02:56.879> um<00:02:57.879> it<00:02:58.040> it
you know how's it going and um it it
you know how's it going and um it it
just<00:02:58.319> didn't<00:02:58.640> come<00:02:58.840> up<00:02:59.120> like<00:02:59.280> that<00:02:59.440> you<00:02:59.560> know
just didn't come up like that you know
just didn't come up like that you know
but<00:03:00.519> to<00:03:00.680> be<00:03:00.840> fair<00:03:01.360> right<00:03:01.720> um<00:03:01.920> chemical
but to be fair right um chemical
but to be fair right um chemical
Engineers<00:03:02.879> as<00:03:02.959> a<00:03:03.239> group<00:03:03.799> you<00:03:03.920> know<00:03:04.120> haven't
Engineers as a group you know haven't
Engineers as a group you know haven't
really<00:03:04.519> earned<00:03:04.799> a<00:03:05.000> reputation<00:03:05.560> over<00:03:05.760> the
really earned a reputation over the
really earned a reputation over the
centuries<00:03:06.360> for<00:03:06.560> being<00:03:07.280> alcoholic<00:03:07.799> manic
centuries for being alcoholic manic
centuries for being alcoholic manic
depressives<00:03:09.000> um<00:03:09.480> and<00:03:10.480> we<00:03:10.680> writers<00:03:11.680> you<00:03:11.799> know
depressives um and we writers you know
depressives um and we writers you know
we<00:03:12.080> kind<00:03:12.200> of<00:03:12.319> do<00:03:12.519> have<00:03:12.720> that<00:03:12.879> reputation<00:03:13.440> and
we kind of do have that reputation and
we kind of do have that reputation and
not<00:03:13.840> not<00:03:14.040> just<00:03:14.239> writers<00:03:14.799> but<00:03:15.040> creative<00:03:15.440> people
not not just writers but creative people
not not just writers but creative people
across<00:03:16.280> all<00:03:17.040> genres<00:03:17.560> it<00:03:17.680> seems<00:03:18.000> have<00:03:18.239> this
across all genres it seems have this
across all genres it seems have this
reputation<00:03:19.000> for<00:03:19.200> being<00:03:19.519> enormously<00:03:20.480> mentally
reputation for being enormously mentally
reputation for being enormously mentally
unstable<00:03:21.920> um<00:03:22.200> and<00:03:22.360> you<00:03:22.480> know<00:03:22.599> all<00:03:22.720> you<00:03:22.840> have<00:03:22.920> to
unstable um and you know all you have to
unstable um and you know all you have to
do<00:03:23.159> is<00:03:23.319> look<00:03:23.480> at<00:03:24.000> the<00:03:24.239> very<00:03:24.560> Grim<00:03:25.239> death<00:03:25.519> count
do is look at the very Grim death count
do is look at the very Grim death count
in<00:03:26.080> the<00:03:26.200> 20th<00:03:26.599> century<00:03:27.000> alone<00:03:27.560> of<00:03:27.760> of<00:03:27.920> really
in the 20th century alone of of really
in the 20th century alone of of really
magnificent<00:03:28.760> creative<00:03:29.120> minds<00:03:29.439> who<00:03:29.799> died
magnificent creative minds who died
magnificent creative minds who died
young<00:03:30.760> and<00:03:30.920> often<00:03:31.200> at<00:03:31.360> their<00:03:31.519> own<00:03:31.840> hands<00:03:32.360> you
young and often at their own hands you
young and often at their own hands you
know<00:03:32.799> um<00:03:32.920> and<00:03:33.040> even<00:03:33.239> the<00:03:33.400> ones<00:03:34.000> who<00:03:34.200> didn't
know um and even the ones who didn't
know um and even the ones who didn't
literally<00:03:35.200> commit<00:03:35.519> suicide<00:03:36.040> seem<00:03:36.280> to<00:03:36.400> be
literally commit suicide seem to be
literally commit suicide seem to be
really<00:03:36.879> undone<00:03:37.560> by<00:03:37.799> their<00:03:38.080> gifts<00:03:38.560> you<00:03:38.680> know<00:03:39.040> um
really undone by their gifts you know um
really undone by their gifts you know um
Norman<00:03:39.480> maor<00:03:40.280> just<00:03:40.439> before<00:03:40.680> he<00:03:40.799> died<00:03:41.200> last
Norman maor just before he died last
Norman maor just before he died last
interview<00:03:41.920> he<00:03:42.040> said<00:03:42.400> every<00:03:42.599> one<00:03:42.760> of<00:03:42.920> my<00:03:43.080> books
interview he said every one of my books
interview he said every one of my books
has<00:03:43.680> killed<00:03:44.040> me<00:03:44.360> a<00:03:44.480> little
has killed me a little
has killed me a little
more<00:03:46.319> an<00:03:46.519> extraordinary<00:03:47.319> statement<00:03:47.920> to<00:03:48.120> make
more an extraordinary statement to make
more an extraordinary statement to make
about<00:03:48.640> your<00:03:48.879> life's<00:03:49.239> work<00:03:49.599> you<00:03:49.720> know<00:03:49.920> but<00:03:50.080> we
about your life's work you know but we
about your life's work you know but we
don't<00:03:50.799> even<00:03:51.080> blink<00:03:51.560> when<00:03:51.720> we<00:03:51.840> hear<00:03:52.040> somebody
don't even blink when we hear somebody
don't even blink when we hear somebody
say<00:03:52.760> this<00:03:53.040> because<00:03:53.239> we've<00:03:53.439> heard<00:03:53.760> that<00:03:53.920> kind
say this because we've heard that kind
say this because we've heard that kind
of<00:03:54.239> stuff<00:03:54.799> for<00:03:55.040> so<00:03:55.319> long<00:03:55.640> and<00:03:55.879> somehow<00:03:56.280> we've
of stuff for so long and somehow we've
of stuff for so long and somehow we've
completely<00:03:57.239> internalized<00:03:57.920> and<00:03:58.159> accepted
completely internalized and accepted
completely internalized and accepted
collectively<00:03:59.799> this<00:04:00.000> notion<00:04:00.519> that<00:04:00.760> creativity
collectively this notion that creativity
collectively this notion that creativity
and<00:04:01.560> suffering<00:04:02.040> are<00:04:02.239> somehow<00:04:02.680> inherently
and suffering are somehow inherently
and suffering are somehow inherently
linked<00:04:04.319> and<00:04:04.480> that<00:04:04.640> Artistry<00:04:05.400> in<00:04:05.519> the<00:04:05.640> end<00:04:06.040> will
linked and that Artistry in the end will
linked and that Artistry in the end will
always<00:04:06.920> ultimately<00:04:07.680> lead<00:04:08.040> to<00:04:08.319> anguish<00:04:09.159> and
always ultimately lead to anguish and
always ultimately lead to anguish and
the<00:04:09.439> question<00:04:09.920> that<00:04:10.040> I<00:04:10.120> want<00:04:10.239> to<00:04:10.439> ask
the question that I want to ask
the question that I want to ask
everybody<00:04:11.040> here<00:04:11.159> today<00:04:11.560> is<00:04:11.959> um<00:04:12.120> are<00:04:12.280> you<00:04:12.439> guys
everybody here today is um are you guys
everybody here today is um are you guys
all<00:04:12.840> cool<00:04:13.159> with<00:04:13.360> that<00:04:13.640> idea<00:04:14.120> like<00:04:14.280> are<00:04:14.640> you
all cool with that idea like are you
all cool with that idea like are you
comfortable<00:04:16.160> with<00:04:16.359> that<00:04:16.720> because<00:04:17.320> um<00:04:17.479> you
comfortable with that because um you
comfortable with that because um you
look<00:04:17.759> at<00:04:17.880> it<00:04:18.040> even<00:04:18.199> from<00:04:18.359> an<00:04:18.519> inch<00:04:18.759> away<00:04:19.120> and
look at it even from an inch away and
look at it even from an inch away and
you<00:04:19.440> know<00:04:19.639> I'm<00:04:19.840> not<00:04:20.199> at<00:04:20.320> all<00:04:20.799> comfortable<00:04:21.440> with
you know I'm not at all comfortable with
you know I'm not at all comfortable with
that<00:04:22.280> assumption<00:04:22.880> I<00:04:23.000> think<00:04:23.160> it's<00:04:23.320> odious<00:04:24.160> and
that assumption I think it's odious and
that assumption I think it's odious and
I<00:04:24.479> also<00:04:24.800> think<00:04:25.000> it's<00:04:25.560> dangerous<00:04:26.320> and<00:04:26.520> I<00:04:26.600> don't
I also think it's dangerous and I don't
I also think it's dangerous and I don't
want<00:04:26.800> to<00:04:26.919> see<00:04:27.080> it<00:04:27.240> perpetuated<00:04:27.960> into<00:04:28.199> the<00:04:28.360> next
want to see it perpetuated into the next
want to see it perpetuated into the next
Century<00:04:29.039> I<00:04:29.120> think<00:04:29.680> better<00:04:30.080> if<00:04:30.199> we<00:04:30.360> encourage
Century I think better if we encourage
Century I think better if we encourage
you<00:04:31.000> know<00:04:31.120> our<00:04:31.280> great<00:04:31.479> creative<00:04:31.800> minds<00:04:32.039> to
you know our great creative minds to
you know our great creative minds to
live<00:04:32.800> you<00:04:32.919> know<00:04:33.320> um<00:04:33.680> and<00:04:34.479> uh<00:04:34.639> and<00:04:34.759> I<00:04:34.919> I
live you know um and uh and I I
live you know um and uh and I I
definitely<00:04:35.440> know<00:04:35.880> that<00:04:36.680> in<00:04:36.919> in<00:04:37.120> my<00:04:37.360> case<00:04:37.720> in<00:04:37.880> my
definitely know that in in my case in my
definitely know that in in my case in my
situation<00:04:38.960> um<00:04:39.120> it<00:04:39.199> would<00:04:39.360> be<00:04:39.639> very<00:04:39.919> dangerous
situation um it would be very dangerous
situation um it would be very dangerous
for<00:04:40.680> me<00:04:40.840> to<00:04:41.080> start<00:04:41.400> sort<00:04:41.600> of<00:04:41.759> leaking<00:04:42.360> down
for me to start sort of leaking down
for me to start sort of leaking down
that<00:04:42.960> dark<00:04:43.520> path<00:04:44.000> of<00:04:44.199> assumption<00:04:45.120> you<00:04:45.240> know
that dark path of assumption you know
that dark path of assumption you know
particularly<00:04:46.000> given<00:04:46.720> the<00:04:46.880> circumstance<00:04:47.479> that
particularly given the circumstance that
particularly given the circumstance that
I'm<00:04:47.759> in<00:04:48.000> right<00:04:48.160> now<00:04:48.560> in<00:04:48.720> my<00:04:49.039> career<00:04:49.520> which<00:04:49.639> is
I'm in right now in my career which is
I'm in right now in my career which is
you<00:04:50.240> know<00:04:50.639> like<00:04:50.800> check<00:04:50.960> it<00:04:51.039> out<00:04:51.240> I'm<00:04:51.400> pretty
you know like check it out I'm pretty
you know like check it out I'm pretty
young<00:04:51.880> I'm<00:04:52.000> only<00:04:52.199> about<00:04:52.440> 40<00:04:52.800> years<00:04:53.039> old<00:04:53.600> I
young I'm only about 40 years old I
young I'm only about 40 years old I
still<00:04:54.320> have<00:04:54.479> maybe<00:04:54.759> another<00:04:55.080> four<00:04:55.440> Decades<00:04:55.880> of
still have maybe another four Decades of
still have maybe another four Decades of
work<00:04:56.360> left<00:04:56.600> in<00:04:56.759> me<00:04:57.440> and<00:04:57.600> it's<00:04:58.199> exceedingly
work left in me and it's exceedingly
work left in me and it's exceedingly
likely<00:04:59.800> that<00:05:00.039> anything<00:05:00.440> I<00:05:00.680> write<00:05:01.000> from<00:05:01.199> this
likely that anything I write from this
likely that anything I write from this
point<00:05:01.600> forward<00:05:01.960> is<00:05:02.080> going<00:05:02.240> to<00:05:02.320> be<00:05:02.479> judged<00:05:02.800> by
point forward is going to be judged by
point forward is going to be judged by
the<00:05:03.039> world<00:05:03.360> as<00:05:03.520> the<00:05:03.600> work<00:05:03.840> that<00:05:04.000> came<00:05:04.360> after
the world as the work that came after
the world as the work that came after
the<00:05:05.080> freakish<00:05:05.720> success<00:05:06.240> of<00:05:06.400> my<00:05:06.639> last<00:05:06.880> book
the freakish success of my last book
the freakish success of my last book
right<00:05:08.280> um<00:05:09.039> I<00:05:09.440> I<00:05:09.479> should<00:05:09.680> just<00:05:09.759> put<00:05:09.880> it<00:05:10.000> bluntly
right um I I should just put it bluntly
right um I I should just put it bluntly
because<00:05:10.560> we're<00:05:10.759> all<00:05:11.160> sort<00:05:11.360> of<00:05:11.479> friends<00:05:11.759> here
because we're all sort of friends here
because we're all sort of friends here
now<00:05:12.160> it's<00:05:12.320> exceedingly<00:05:12.880> likely<00:05:13.199> that<00:05:13.320> my
now it's exceedingly likely that my
now it's exceedingly likely that my
greatest<00:05:13.919> success<00:05:14.360> is<00:05:14.560> behind<00:05:14.919> me<00:05:15.680> you<00:05:15.800> know
greatest success is behind me you know
greatest success is behind me you know
um<00:05:16.320> so<00:05:16.639> Jesus<00:05:17.080> what<00:05:17.199> a<00:05:17.440> thought<00:05:17.800> you<00:05:17.919> know<00:05:18.199> like
um so Jesus what a thought you know like
um so Jesus what a thought you know like
that's<00:05:18.880> the<00:05:19.039> kind<00:05:19.199> of<00:05:19.440> thought<00:05:19.720> that<00:05:19.880> could
that's the kind of thought that could
that's the kind of thought that could
lead<00:05:20.319> a<00:05:20.520> person<00:05:20.759> to<00:05:21.000> start<00:05:21.600> drinking<00:05:22.039> Jin<00:05:22.400> at
lead a person to start drinking Jin at
lead a person to start drinking Jin at
9:00<00:05:23.039> in<00:05:23.120> the<00:05:23.199> morning<00:05:23.840> and<00:05:24.840> you<00:05:24.960> know<00:05:25.120> I<00:05:25.199> don't
9:00 in the morning and you know I don't
9:00 in the morning and you know I don't
want<00:05:25.479> to<00:05:26.199> go<00:05:26.520> there<00:05:26.840> you<00:05:26.960> know<00:05:27.080> I<00:05:27.160> would<00:05:27.360> prefer
want to go there you know I would prefer
want to go there you know I would prefer
to<00:05:27.840> keep<00:05:28.039> doing<00:05:28.319> this<00:05:28.479> work<00:05:28.720> that<00:05:28.880> I<00:05:29.000> love<00:05:29.360> and
to keep doing this work that I love and
to keep doing this work that I love and
so<00:05:29.880> the<00:05:30.039> question<00:05:30.919> becomes<00:05:31.680> how<00:05:32.280> you<00:05:32.400> know<00:05:32.800> and
so the question becomes how you know and
so the question becomes how you know and
and<00:05:33.479> so<00:05:34.080> it<00:05:34.199> seems<00:05:34.440> to<00:05:34.600> me<00:05:34.840> upon<00:05:35.160> a<00:05:35.280> lot<00:05:35.440> of
and so it seems to me upon a lot of
and so it seems to me upon a lot of
reflection<00:05:36.400> that<00:05:36.560> that<00:05:36.680> the<00:05:36.800> way<00:05:36.960> that<00:05:37.080> I<00:05:37.199> have
reflection that that the way that I have
reflection that that the way that I have
to<00:05:37.720> work<00:05:38.080> now<00:05:38.280> in<00:05:38.360> order<00:05:38.560> to<00:05:38.720> continue<00:05:39.080> writing
to work now in order to continue writing
to work now in order to continue writing
is<00:05:40.000> that<00:05:40.160> I<00:05:40.240> have<00:05:40.360> to<00:05:40.560> create<00:05:40.840> some<00:05:40.960> sort<00:05:41.160> of
is that I have to create some sort of
is that I have to create some sort of
protective<00:05:41.759> psychological<00:05:42.560> construct<00:05:43.280> right
protective psychological construct right
protective psychological construct right
I<00:05:43.560> have<00:05:43.680> to<00:05:44.199> sort<00:05:44.400> of<00:05:44.560> find<00:05:44.800> some<00:05:44.960> way<00:05:45.120> to<00:05:45.280> have
I have to sort of find some way to have
I have to sort of find some way to have
a<00:05:46.000> a<00:05:46.160> safe<00:05:46.600> distance<00:05:47.160> you<00:05:47.319> know<00:05:47.560> between<00:05:48.440> me<00:05:48.960> as
a a safe distance you know between me as
a a safe distance you know between me as
I<00:05:49.199> am<00:05:49.360> writing<00:05:50.000> and<00:05:50.319> my<00:05:50.759> very<00:05:51.039> natural<00:05:51.520> anxiety
I am writing and my very natural anxiety
I am writing and my very natural anxiety
about<00:05:52.520> what<00:05:52.680> the<00:05:52.880> reaction<00:05:53.520> to<00:05:53.680> that<00:05:53.800> writing
about what the reaction to that writing
about what the reaction to that writing
is<00:05:54.280> going<00:05:54.400> to<00:05:54.520> be<00:05:54.720> from<00:05:54.880> now<00:05:55.080> on<00:05:55.919> and<00:05:56.199> and<00:05:56.360> as
is going to be from now on and and as
is going to be from now on and and as
I've<00:05:56.639> been<00:05:56.840> looking<00:05:57.360> over<00:05:57.520> the<00:05:57.680> last<00:05:57.880> year<00:05:58.080> for
I've been looking over the last year for
I've been looking over the last year for
like<00:05:58.680> models<00:05:59.080> for<00:05:59.240> how<00:05:59.560> to<00:05:59.680> do<00:05:59.919> that<00:06:00.400> I've<00:06:00.520> been
like models for how to do that I've been
like models for how to do that I've been
sort<00:06:00.759> of<00:06:00.880> looking<00:06:01.199> across<00:06:01.680> time<00:06:02.360> and<00:06:02.440> I've
sort of looking across time and I've
sort of looking across time and I've
been<00:06:02.680> trying<00:06:02.840> to<00:06:03.000> find<00:06:03.319> like<00:06:03.520> other<00:06:03.800> societies
been trying to find like other societies
been trying to find like other societies
to<00:06:04.400> see<00:06:04.560> if<00:06:04.680> they<00:06:04.800> might<00:06:04.960> have<00:06:05.199> had<00:06:05.960> better<00:06:06.280> and
to see if they might have had better and
to see if they might have had better and
saner<00:06:07.000> ideas<00:06:07.479> than<00:06:07.639> we<00:06:07.840> have<00:06:08.160> about<00:06:08.440> how<00:06:08.560> to
saner ideas than we have about how to
saner ideas than we have about how to
help<00:06:09.360> um<00:06:09.520> creative<00:06:09.919> people<00:06:10.160> sort<00:06:10.319> of<00:06:10.520> manage
help um creative people sort of manage
help um creative people sort of manage
the<00:06:11.400> inherent<00:06:11.800> emotional<00:06:12.280> risks<00:06:12.840> of<00:06:13.120> um<00:06:13.319> of
the inherent emotional risks of um of
the inherent emotional risks of um of
creativity<00:06:14.120> and<00:06:14.319> that<00:06:14.479> search<00:06:15.240> has<00:06:15.440> led<00:06:15.680> me<00:06:16.039> to
creativity and that search has led me to
creativity and that search has led me to
ancient<00:06:16.720> Greece<00:06:17.240> and<00:06:17.440> ancient<00:06:17.759> Rome<00:06:18.520> um<00:06:18.960> so
ancient Greece and ancient Rome um so
ancient Greece and ancient Rome um so
stay<00:06:19.400> with<00:06:19.520> me<00:06:19.720> because<00:06:19.840> it<00:06:19.960> does<00:06:20.160> circle
stay with me because it does circle
stay with me because it does circle
around<00:06:21.160> back<00:06:21.520> but<00:06:21.800> um<00:06:21.960> ancient<00:06:22.280> Greece<00:06:22.520> and
around back but um ancient Greece and
around back but um ancient Greece and
ancient<00:06:22.960> Rome<00:06:23.880> people<00:06:24.160> did<00:06:24.360> not<00:06:24.599> happen<00:06:24.840> to
ancient Rome people did not happen to
ancient Rome people did not happen to
believe<00:06:25.599> that<00:06:25.800> creativity<00:06:26.520> came<00:06:26.880> from<00:06:27.319> human
believe that creativity came from human
believe that creativity came from human
beings<00:06:28.120> back<00:06:28.360> then<00:06:28.840> okay<00:06:29.000> people<00:06:29.479> believed
beings back then okay people believed
beings back then okay people believed
that<00:06:30.319> creativity<00:06:31.039> was<00:06:31.280> this<00:06:31.560> Divine
that creativity was this Divine
that creativity was this Divine
attendant<00:06:32.840> spirit<00:06:33.560> that<00:06:33.759> came<00:06:33.960> to<00:06:34.360> human
attendant spirit that came to human
attendant spirit that came to human
beings<00:06:34.960> from<00:06:35.199> some<00:06:35.479> distant<00:06:36.160> and<00:06:36.319> unknowable
beings from some distant and unknowable
beings from some distant and unknowable
source<00:06:37.440> for<00:06:37.759> distant<00:06:38.199> and<00:06:38.360> unknowable
source for distant and unknowable
source for distant and unknowable
reasons<00:06:40.000> the<00:06:40.120> Greeks<00:06:40.680> famously<00:06:41.280> called<00:06:41.639> these
reasons the Greeks famously called these
reasons the Greeks famously called these
Divine<00:06:42.319> attendant<00:06:42.840> spirits<00:06:43.160> of<00:06:43.360> creativity
Divine attendant spirits of creativity
Divine attendant spirits of creativity
Damons<00:06:45.440> Socrates<00:06:46.080> famously<00:06:46.800> believed<00:06:47.160> that
Damons Socrates famously believed that
Damons Socrates famously believed that
he<00:06:47.400> had<00:06:47.520> a<00:06:47.639> Damon<00:06:48.120> who<00:06:48.280> spoke<00:06:48.680> wisdom<00:06:49.199> to<00:06:49.479> him
he had a Damon who spoke wisdom to him
he had a Damon who spoke wisdom to him
from<00:06:49.960> afar<00:06:50.720> the<00:06:50.840> Romans<00:06:51.280> had<00:06:51.400> the<00:06:51.520> same<00:06:51.800> idea
from afar the Romans had the same idea
from afar the Romans had the same idea
but<00:06:52.319> they<00:06:52.520> called<00:06:53.199> that<00:06:53.440> sort<00:06:53.560> of<00:06:53.720> disembodied
but they called that sort of disembodied
but they called that sort of disembodied
creative<00:06:54.800> Spirit<00:06:55.319> a<00:06:55.560> genius<00:06:56.560> um<00:06:56.840> which<00:06:56.960> is
creative Spirit a genius um which is
creative Spirit a genius um which is
great<00:06:57.360> because<00:06:57.520> the<00:06:57.639> Romans<00:06:58.319> did<00:06:58.479> not
great because the Romans did not
great because the Romans did not
actually<00:06:58.879> think<00:06:59.080> that<00:06:59.199> a<00:06:59.520> genius<00:07:00.039> was<00:07:00.160> a
actually think that a genius was a
actually think that a genius was a
particularly<00:07:00.879> clever<00:07:01.720> individual<00:07:02.360> they
particularly clever individual they
particularly clever individual they
believe<00:07:02.800> that<00:07:02.960> a<00:07:03.120> genius<00:07:03.560> was<00:07:03.720> this<00:07:03.879> sort<00:07:04.039> of
believe that a genius was this sort of
believe that a genius was this sort of
magical<00:07:05.160> Divine<00:07:05.639> entity<00:07:06.520> um<00:07:06.759> who<00:07:07.080> was
magical Divine entity um who was
magical Divine entity um who was
believed<00:07:07.879> to<00:07:08.160> literally<00:07:09.039> live<00:07:09.319> in<00:07:09.560> the<00:07:09.759> walls
believed to literally live in the walls
believed to literally live in the walls
of<00:07:10.520> an<00:07:10.639> artist<00:07:11.039> studio<00:07:11.479> kind<00:07:11.599> of<00:07:11.720> like<00:07:11.879> Dobby
of an artist studio kind of like Dobby
of an artist studio kind of like Dobby
the<00:07:12.919> house<00:07:13.199> elf<00:07:13.680> um<00:07:13.919> and<00:07:14.039> who<00:07:14.240> would<00:07:14.800> come<00:07:15.039> out
the house elf um and who would come out
the house elf um and who would come out
and<00:07:15.800> sort<00:07:15.960> of<00:07:16.120> invisibly<00:07:16.800> assist<00:07:17.160> the<00:07:17.240> artists
and sort of invisibly assist the artists
and sort of invisibly assist the artists
with<00:07:17.720> their<00:07:17.879> work<00:07:18.199> and<00:07:18.400> would<00:07:18.560> shape<00:07:19.319> the
with their work and would shape the
with their work and would shape the
outcome<00:07:20.000> of<00:07:20.199> that<00:07:20.319> work<00:07:20.560> so<00:07:20.960> brilliant<00:07:21.680> there
outcome of that work so brilliant there
outcome of that work so brilliant there
it<00:07:21.960> is<00:07:22.280> right<00:07:22.440> there<00:07:22.720> that<00:07:22.919> distance<00:07:23.400> that<00:07:23.520> I'm
it is right there that distance that I'm
it is right there that distance that I'm
talking<00:07:23.919> about<00:07:24.199> that<00:07:24.360> psychological
talking about that psychological
talking about that psychological
construct<00:07:26.000> to<00:07:26.240> protect<00:07:26.639> you<00:07:26.960> from<00:07:27.160> the
construct to protect you from the
construct to protect you from the
results<00:07:27.639> of<00:07:27.800> your<00:07:27.960> work<00:07:28.479> you<00:07:28.599> know<00:07:29.000> um<00:07:29.400> and
results of your work you know um and
results of your work you know um and
everyone<00:07:29.840> knew<00:07:30.080> that<00:07:30.240> this<00:07:30.360> is<00:07:30.520> how<00:07:30.720> it
everyone knew that this is how it
everyone knew that this is how it
functioned<00:07:32.080> right<00:07:32.199> so<00:07:32.400> the<00:07:32.560> ancient<00:07:32.879> artist
functioned right so the ancient artist
functioned right so the ancient artist
was<00:07:33.400> protected<00:07:34.240> from<00:07:34.479> certain<00:07:34.759> things<00:07:35.080> like
was protected from certain things like
was protected from certain things like
for<00:07:35.680> example<00:07:36.000> too<00:07:36.160> much<00:07:36.360> narcissism<00:07:37.160> right<00:07:37.360> if
for example too much narcissism right if
for example too much narcissism right if
your<00:07:37.560> work<00:07:37.759> was<00:07:37.960> brilliant<00:07:38.919> couldn't<00:07:39.199> take
your work was brilliant couldn't take
your work was brilliant couldn't take
all<00:07:39.479> the<00:07:39.639> credit<00:07:39.919> for<00:07:40.080> it<00:07:40.319> everybody<00:07:40.680> knew<00:07:41.319> you
all the credit for it everybody knew you
all the credit for it everybody knew you
had<00:07:41.759> this<00:07:41.919> like<00:07:42.120> disembodied<00:07:42.720> genius<00:07:43.199> who<00:07:43.319> had
had this like disembodied genius who had
had this like disembodied genius who had
helped<00:07:43.720> you<00:07:44.199> if<00:07:44.319> your<00:07:44.479> work<00:07:44.720> bombed<00:07:45.479> not
helped you if your work bombed not
helped you if your work bombed not
entirely<00:07:46.199> your<00:07:46.400> fault<00:07:46.960> you<00:07:47.080> know<00:07:47.479> um<00:07:47.720> everyone
entirely your fault you know um everyone
entirely your fault you know um everyone
knew<00:07:48.680> your<00:07:48.879> Genius<00:07:49.280> was<00:07:49.479> kind<00:07:49.599> of<00:07:49.720> lame<00:07:50.400> and<00:07:50.919> uh
knew your Genius was kind of lame and uh
knew your Genius was kind of lame and uh
this<00:07:52.039> is<00:07:52.319> how<00:07:52.639> people<00:07:52.919> thought<00:07:53.440> about
this is how people thought about
this is how people thought about
creativity<00:07:54.360> in<00:07:54.479> the<00:07:54.599> West<00:07:54.840> for<00:07:55.000> a<00:07:55.159> really<00:07:55.360> long
creativity in the West for a really long
creativity in the West for a really long
time<00:07:56.280> and<00:07:56.360> then<00:07:56.479> the<00:07:56.599> Renaissance<00:07:57.199> came<00:07:57.440> and
time and then the Renaissance came and
time and then the Renaissance came and
everything<00:07:57.879> changed<00:07:58.240> and<00:07:58.360> we<00:07:58.479> had<00:07:58.639> this<00:07:58.800> big
everything changed and we had this big
everything changed and we had this big
idea<00:07:59.599> and<00:07:59.720> the<00:07:59.800> big<00:08:00.039> idea<00:08:00.400> was<00:08:00.639> let's<00:08:00.879> put<00:08:01.120> the
idea and the big idea was let's put the
idea and the big idea was let's put the
individual<00:08:02.000> human<00:08:02.240> being<00:08:02.440> at<00:08:02.520> the<00:08:02.639> center<00:08:02.879> of
individual human being at the center of
individual human being at the center of
the<00:08:03.120> universe<00:08:03.639> right<00:08:04.080> above<00:08:04.360> all<00:08:04.599> gods<00:08:04.840> and
the universe right above all gods and
the universe right above all gods and
Mysteries<00:08:05.360> and<00:08:05.479> there's<00:08:05.599> no<00:08:05.720> more<00:08:05.879> room<00:08:06.080> for
Mysteries and there's no more room for
Mysteries and there's no more room for
like<00:08:06.680> mystical<00:08:07.080> creatures<00:08:07.560> who<00:08:07.720> take
like mystical creatures who take
like mystical creatures who take
dictation<00:08:08.440> from<00:08:08.599> the<00:08:08.759> Divine<00:08:09.280> and<00:08:09.440> and<00:08:09.560> it's
dictation from the Divine and and it's
dictation from the Divine and and it's
the<00:08:09.800> beginning<00:08:10.120> of<00:08:10.599> rational<00:08:11.000> humanism<00:08:11.759> and
the beginning of rational humanism and
the beginning of rational humanism and
um<00:08:12.240> people<00:08:12.400> started<00:08:12.720> to<00:08:12.800> believe<00:08:13.039> that
um people started to believe that
um people started to believe that
creativity<00:08:14.080> came<00:08:14.360> completely<00:08:14.800> from<00:08:14.960> the<00:08:15.120> self
creativity came completely from the self
creativity came completely from the self
of<00:08:15.759> the<00:08:15.919> individual<00:08:16.919> and<00:08:17.159> for<00:08:17.319> the<00:08:17.479> first<00:08:17.720> time
of the individual and for the first time
of the individual and for the first time
in<00:08:18.080> history<00:08:19.000> you<00:08:19.120> start<00:08:19.360> to<00:08:19.520> hear<00:08:19.759> people
in history you start to hear people
in history you start to hear people
referring<00:08:20.599> to<00:08:20.879> this<00:08:21.039> or<00:08:21.280> that<00:08:21.479> Artist<00:08:22.240> as
referring to this or that Artist as
referring to this or that Artist as
being<00:08:22.759> a<00:08:22.960> genius<00:08:23.720> rather<00:08:23.960> than<00:08:24.199> having<00:08:24.599> a
being a genius rather than having a
being a genius rather than having a
genius<00:08:25.720> and<00:08:25.840> I<00:08:25.919> got<00:08:26.000> to<00:08:26.120> tell<00:08:26.280> you<00:08:26.479> I<00:08:26.560> think
genius and I got to tell you I think
genius and I got to tell you I think
that<00:08:26.800> was<00:08:26.919> a<00:08:27.280> huge<00:08:27.960> error<00:08:28.800> you<00:08:28.919> know<00:08:29.039> I<00:08:29.240> I<00:08:29.319> think
that was a huge error you know I I think
that was a huge error you know I I think
that<00:08:29.800> allowing<00:08:30.520> somebody<00:08:31.440> like<00:08:31.639> one<00:08:31.879> mere
that allowing somebody like one mere
that allowing somebody like one mere
person<00:08:33.080> to<00:08:33.240> believe<00:08:33.560> that<00:08:33.719> he<00:08:33.880> or<00:08:34.039> she<00:08:34.360> is<00:08:34.560> like
person to believe that he or she is like
person to believe that he or she is like
the<00:08:34.919> vessel<00:08:35.599> you<00:08:35.680> know<00:08:35.880> like<00:08:36.039> the<00:08:36.200> font<00:08:37.000> and
the vessel you know like the font and
the vessel you know like the font and
the<00:08:37.360> essence<00:08:37.640> and<00:08:37.800> the<00:08:37.959> source<00:08:38.279> of<00:08:38.479> all<00:08:38.839> Divine
the essence and the source of all Divine
the essence and the source of all Divine
creative<00:08:40.039> unknowable<00:08:40.640> Eternal<00:08:41.080> mystery<00:08:41.560> is
creative unknowable Eternal mystery is
creative unknowable Eternal mystery is
just<00:08:41.919> like<00:08:42.080> a<00:08:42.360> smidge<00:08:43.360> too<00:08:43.640> much
just like a smidge too much
just like a smidge too much
responsibility<00:08:44.760> to<00:08:44.959> put<00:08:45.240> on<00:08:45.440> one<00:08:46.120> fragile
responsibility to put on one fragile
responsibility to put on one fragile
human<00:08:47.080> psyche<00:08:47.720> it's<00:08:47.920> like<00:08:48.160> asking<00:08:48.640> somebody
human psyche it's like asking somebody
human psyche it's like asking somebody
to<00:08:49.600> swallow<00:08:50.120> the<00:08:50.279> sun<00:08:50.880> you<00:08:51.000> know<00:08:51.279> it<00:08:51.440> just
to swallow the sun you know it just
to swallow the sun you know it just
completely<00:08:52.120> warps<00:08:52.440> and<00:08:52.600> distorts<00:08:53.080> Egos<00:08:53.839> and
completely warps and distorts Egos and
completely warps and distorts Egos and
it<00:08:54.040> creates<00:08:54.399> all<00:08:54.560> these<00:08:54.760> unmanageable
it creates all these unmanageable
it creates all these unmanageable
expectations<00:08:55.959> about<00:08:56.480> performance<00:08:57.480> and<00:08:57.680> I
expectations about performance and I
expectations about performance and I
think<00:08:58.000> the<00:08:58.240> pressure<00:08:58.640> of<00:08:58.880> that<00:08:59.480> has<00:08:59.600> been
think the pressure of that has been
think the pressure of that has been
killing<00:09:00.120> off<00:09:00.399> our<00:09:00.560> artists<00:09:01.000> for<00:09:01.200> the<00:09:01.360> last<00:09:01.600> 500
killing off our artists for the last 500
killing off our artists for the last 500
years<00:09:03.200> and<00:09:03.519> um<00:09:03.920> if<00:09:04.079> this<00:09:04.200> is<00:09:04.399> true<00:09:05.000> and<00:09:05.320> I<00:09:05.519> I
years and um if this is true and I I
years and um if this is true and I I
think<00:09:05.760> it<00:09:05.880> is<00:09:06.120> true<00:09:06.640> the<00:09:06.800> question<00:09:07.320> becomes
think it is true the question becomes
think it is true the question becomes
you<00:09:08.440> know<00:09:08.880> what<00:09:09.160> now<00:09:09.560> you<00:09:09.680> know<00:09:09.839> can<00:09:09.959> we<00:09:10.120> do
you know what now you know can we do
you know what now you know can we do
this<00:09:10.640> differently<00:09:11.519> uh<00:09:11.680> maybe<00:09:12.240> go<00:09:12.519> back<00:09:12.720> to
this differently uh maybe go back to
this differently uh maybe go back to
some<00:09:13.200> more<00:09:14.000> ancient<00:09:14.839> understanding<00:09:15.320> about
some more ancient understanding about
some more ancient understanding about
the<00:09:15.680> relationship<00:09:16.240> between<00:09:16.560> humans<00:09:17.079> and<00:09:17.320> the
the relationship between humans and the
the relationship between humans and the
creative<00:09:17.880> mystery<00:09:18.680> um<00:09:19.600> maybe<00:09:19.920> not<00:09:20.240> you<00:09:20.360> know
creative mystery um maybe not you know
creative mystery um maybe not you know
like<00:09:20.760> um<00:09:20.880> maybe<00:09:21.079> we<00:09:21.240> can't<00:09:21.519> just<00:09:21.800> erase<00:09:22.480> 500
like um maybe we can't just erase 500
like um maybe we can't just erase 500
years<00:09:23.240> of<00:09:23.480> rational<00:09:23.959> humanistic<00:09:24.560> thought<00:09:24.760> in
years of rational humanistic thought in
years of rational humanistic thought in
one<00:09:25.160> 18-minute<00:09:25.720> speech<00:09:26.720> um<00:09:26.920> and<00:09:27.040> there's
one 18-minute speech um and there's
one 18-minute speech um and there's
probably<00:09:27.680> people<00:09:28.440> in<00:09:28.640> this<00:09:28.760> audience
probably people in this audience
probably people in this audience
who<00:09:29.839> would<00:09:30.040> raise<00:09:30.480> like<00:09:30.720> really<00:09:31.519> legitimate
who would raise like really legitimate
who would raise like really legitimate
scientific<00:09:33.200> suspicions<00:09:33.880> about<00:09:34.120> the<00:09:34.320> notion
scientific suspicions about the notion
scientific suspicions about the notion
of<00:09:34.880> basically<00:09:35.360> fairies<00:09:36.079> who<00:09:36.440> follow<00:09:37.360> people
of basically fairies who follow people
of basically fairies who follow people
around<00:09:38.000> like<00:09:38.640> rubbing<00:09:39.040> fairy<00:09:39.399> juice<00:09:39.800> on<00:09:39.959> their
around like rubbing fairy juice on their
around like rubbing fairy juice on their
projects<00:09:40.680> and<00:09:40.880> stuff<00:09:41.200> like<00:09:41.360> I<00:09:41.480> I'm<00:09:41.800> not
projects and stuff like I I'm not
projects and stuff like I I'm not
probably<00:09:42.720> going<00:09:42.800> to<00:09:42.920> bring<00:09:43.079> you<00:09:43.240> all<00:09:43.399> along
probably going to bring you all along
probably going to bring you all along
with<00:09:43.880> me<00:09:44.079> on<00:09:44.320> this<00:09:44.839> um<00:09:45.480> but<00:09:45.640> the<00:09:45.920> the<00:09:46.079> question
with me on this um but the the question
with me on this um but the the question
that<00:09:46.480> I<00:09:46.680> kind<00:09:46.800> of<00:09:46.920> want<00:09:47.040> to<00:09:47.240> pose<00:09:47.640> is<00:09:48.200> you<00:09:48.320> know
that I kind of want to pose is you know
that I kind of want to pose is you know
why<00:09:48.880> not<00:09:49.880> um<00:09:50.279> why<00:09:50.480> not<00:09:50.800> think<00:09:51.000> about<00:09:51.240> it<00:09:51.480> this
why not um why not think about it this
why not um why not think about it this
way<00:09:52.240> because<00:09:52.480> it<00:09:52.640> makes<00:09:53.360> as<00:09:53.560> much<00:09:53.839> sense<00:09:54.399> as
way because it makes as much sense as
way because it makes as much sense as
anything<00:09:54.920> else<00:09:55.240> I<00:09:55.360> have<00:09:55.519> ever<00:09:55.800> heard<00:09:56.519> in<00:09:56.640> terms
anything else I have ever heard in terms
anything else I have ever heard in terms
of<00:09:57.120> explaining<00:09:57.839> the<00:09:58.000> utter<00:09:58.519> maddening
of explaining the utter maddening
of explaining the utter maddening
capriciousness<00:10:00.440> of<00:10:00.560> the<00:10:00.720> creative<00:10:01.200> process<00:10:01.640> a
capriciousness of the creative process a
capriciousness of the creative process a
process<00:10:02.360> which<00:10:02.959> as<00:10:03.120> anybody<00:10:03.440> who<00:10:03.560> has<00:10:03.680> ever
process which as anybody who has ever
process which as anybody who has ever
tried<00:10:04.040> to<00:10:04.200> make<00:10:04.399> something<00:10:04.760> which<00:10:04.839> is<00:10:05.000> to<00:10:05.160> say
tried to make something which is to say
tried to make something which is to say
as<00:10:05.959> basically<00:10:06.360> everyone<00:10:06.720> here<00:10:07.279> knows<00:10:08.200> does
as basically everyone here knows does
as basically everyone here knows does
not<00:10:08.720> always<00:10:09.120> behave<00:10:09.600> rationally<00:10:10.560> and<00:10:10.720> in<00:10:10.959> fact
not always behave rationally and in fact
not always behave rationally and in fact
can<00:10:11.839> sometimes<00:10:12.200> feel<00:10:12.959> downright<00:10:14.079> paranormal
can sometimes feel downright paranormal
can sometimes feel downright paranormal
um<00:10:15.360> I<00:10:15.480> had<00:10:15.640> this<00:10:15.760> encounter<00:10:16.160> recently<00:10:16.560> where<00:10:16.720> I
um I had this encounter recently where I
um I had this encounter recently where I
met<00:10:17.120> the<00:10:17.440> extraordinary<00:10:18.440> American<00:10:19.000> poet<00:10:19.320> Ruth
met the extraordinary American poet Ruth
met the extraordinary American poet Ruth
Stone<00:10:20.519> who's<00:10:20.800> now<00:10:21.000> in<00:10:21.120> her<00:10:21.240> 90s<00:10:21.720> but<00:10:21.839> she's
Stone who's now in her 90s but she's
Stone who's now in her 90s but she's
been<00:10:22.160> a<00:10:22.279> poet<00:10:22.519> her<00:10:22.680> entire<00:10:23.079> life<00:10:23.320> and<00:10:23.440> she<00:10:23.600> told
been a poet her entire life and she told
been a poet her entire life and she told
me<00:10:23.959> that<00:10:24.079> when<00:10:24.200> she<00:10:24.360> was<00:10:24.560> growing<00:10:24.920> up<00:10:25.600> in<00:10:25.720> rural
me that when she was growing up in rural
me that when she was growing up in rural
Virginia<00:10:26.560> she<00:10:26.680> would<00:10:26.839> be<00:10:26.959> out<00:10:27.200> working<00:10:27.399> in<00:10:27.519> the
Virginia she would be out working in the
Virginia she would be out working in the
fields<00:10:28.079> and<00:10:28.200> she<00:10:28.320> said<00:10:28.519> she<00:10:28.680> would<00:10:28.839> like
fields and she said she would like
fields and she said she would like
feel<00:10:30.040> and<00:10:30.360> hear<00:10:30.720> a<00:10:30.920> poem<00:10:31.399> coming<00:10:31.640> at<00:10:31.800> her<00:10:32.240> from
feel and hear a poem coming at her from
feel and hear a poem coming at her from
Over<00:10:32.600> the<00:10:32.760> landscape<00:10:33.279> and<00:10:33.360> she<00:10:33.480> said<00:10:33.640> it<00:10:33.720> was
Over the landscape and she said it was
Over the landscape and she said it was
like<00:10:34.000> a<00:10:34.240> thunderous<00:10:35.120> train<00:10:35.480> of<00:10:35.720> air<00:10:36.440> and<00:10:36.519> it
like a thunderous train of air and it
like a thunderous train of air and it
would<00:10:36.800> come<00:10:37.120> barreling<00:10:37.639> down<00:10:37.839> at<00:10:37.959> her<00:10:38.120> over
would come barreling down at her over
would come barreling down at her over
the<00:10:38.399> landscape<00:10:38.880> and<00:10:38.959> when<00:10:39.079> she<00:10:39.279> felt<00:10:39.560> it
the landscape and when she felt it
the landscape and when she felt it
coming<00:10:40.040> because<00:10:40.160> it<00:10:40.240> would<00:10:40.399> like<00:10:40.519> shake<00:10:40.880> the
coming because it would like shake the
coming because it would like shake the
Earth<00:10:41.240> under<00:10:41.480> her<00:10:41.639> feet<00:10:42.200> she<00:10:42.399> knew<00:10:42.639> that<00:10:42.760> she
Earth under her feet she knew that she
Earth under her feet she knew that she
had<00:10:43.079> only<00:10:43.320> one<00:10:43.519> thing<00:10:43.680> to<00:10:43.880> do<00:10:44.519> at<00:10:44.680> that<00:10:44.800> point
had only one thing to do at that point
had only one thing to do at that point
and<00:10:45.240> that<00:10:45.360> was<00:10:45.519> to<00:10:45.760> in<00:10:45.880> her<00:10:46.040> words<00:10:46.399> run<00:10:46.720> like
and that was to in her words run like
and that was to in her words run like
hell<00:10:47.480> and<00:10:47.560> she<00:10:47.680> would<00:10:47.800> like<00:10:47.959> run<00:10:48.200> like<00:10:48.360> hell<00:10:48.560> to
hell and she would like run like hell to
hell and she would like run like hell to
the<00:10:48.880> house<00:10:49.320> and<00:10:49.440> she'd<00:10:49.639> be<00:10:49.720> getting<00:10:49.920> chased<00:10:50.279> by
the house and she'd be getting chased by
the house and she'd be getting chased by
this<00:10:50.600> poem<00:10:51.200> and<00:10:51.279> the<00:10:51.399> whole<00:10:51.560> deal<00:10:51.760> was<00:10:51.880> that
this poem and the whole deal was that
this poem and the whole deal was that
she<00:10:52.160> had<00:10:52.240> to<00:10:52.399> get<00:10:52.519> to<00:10:52.680> a<00:10:52.760> piece<00:10:52.920> of<00:10:53.079> paper<00:10:53.279> and<00:10:53.360> a
she had to get to a piece of paper and a
she had to get to a piece of paper and a
pencil<00:10:53.880> fast<00:10:54.200> enough<00:10:54.680> so<00:10:54.839> that<00:10:54.959> when<00:10:55.079> it
pencil fast enough so that when it
pencil fast enough so that when it
thundered<00:10:55.639> through<00:10:55.880> her<00:10:56.079> she<00:10:56.279> could<00:10:56.480> collect
thundered through her she could collect
thundered through her she could collect
it<00:10:57.440> and<00:10:57.639> um<00:10:57.760> and<00:10:57.880> grab<00:10:58.079> it<00:10:58.200> on<00:10:58.279> the<00:10:58.399> page<00:10:58.639> and
it and um and grab it on the page and
it and um and grab it on the page and
other<00:10:59.160> times<00:10:59.639> she<00:10:59.839> wouldn't<00:11:00.079> be<00:11:00.279> fast<00:11:00.519> enough
other times she wouldn't be fast enough
other times she wouldn't be fast enough
so<00:11:00.839> she'd<00:11:01.079> be<00:11:01.240> like<00:11:01.440> running<00:11:01.760> and<00:11:01.920> running<00:11:02.160> and
so she'd be like running and running and
so she'd be like running and running and
running<00:11:02.519> and<00:11:02.680> the<00:11:02.959> she<00:11:03.079> wouldn't<00:11:03.320> get<00:11:03.399> to<00:11:03.519> the
running and the she wouldn't get to the
running and the she wouldn't get to the
house<00:11:03.800> and<00:11:03.920> the<00:11:04.000> poem<00:11:04.279> would<00:11:04.480> like<00:11:04.600> Barrel
house and the poem would like Barrel
house and the poem would like Barrel
through<00:11:05.279> her<00:11:05.800> and<00:11:05.880> she<00:11:06.040> would<00:11:06.240> miss<00:11:06.440> it<00:11:06.839> and
through her and she would miss it and
through her and she would miss it and
she<00:11:07.160> said<00:11:07.279> it<00:11:07.399> would<00:11:07.600> continue<00:11:08.000> on<00:11:08.240> across<00:11:08.480> the
she said it would continue on across the
she said it would continue on across the
landscape<00:11:09.200> looking<00:11:09.880> as<00:11:10.000> she<00:11:10.160> put<00:11:10.320> it<00:11:10.480> for
landscape looking as she put it for
landscape looking as she put it for
another<00:11:11.320> poet<00:11:12.320> and<00:11:12.600> um<00:11:12.920> and<00:11:13.079> then<00:11:13.240> there<00:11:13.320> were
another poet and um and then there were
another poet and um and then there were
these
these
these
times<00:11:15.560> this<00:11:15.680> is<00:11:15.760> the<00:11:15.920> piece<00:11:16.120> I<00:11:16.240> never<00:11:16.440> forgot
times this is the piece I never forgot
times this is the piece I never forgot
she<00:11:16.959> said<00:11:17.160> that<00:11:17.279> there<00:11:17.360> were<00:11:17.600> moments<00:11:17.959> when
she said that there were moments when
she said that there were moments when
she<00:11:18.240> would<00:11:18.639> almost<00:11:19.560> miss<00:11:19.760> it<00:11:20.000> right<00:11:20.079> so<00:11:20.240> she's
she would almost miss it right so she's
she would almost miss it right so she's
like<00:11:20.519> running<00:11:20.800> into<00:11:21.000> the<00:11:21.120> house<00:11:21.279> and<00:11:21.399> she's
like running into the house and she's
like running into the house and she's
looking<00:11:21.800> for<00:11:21.920> the<00:11:22.079> paper<00:11:22.360> and<00:11:22.480> the<00:11:22.600> poem
looking for the paper and the poem
looking for the paper and the poem
passes<00:11:23.760> through<00:11:24.000> her<00:11:24.680> and<00:11:24.920> she<00:11:25.240> grabs<00:11:25.760> a
passes through her and she grabs a
passes through her and she grabs a
pencil<00:11:26.560> just<00:11:26.680> as<00:11:26.800> it's<00:11:27.000> going<00:11:27.200> through<00:11:27.399> her
pencil just as it's going through her
pencil just as it's going through her
and<00:11:27.680> then<00:11:27.760> she<00:11:27.920> said<00:11:28.079> it<00:11:28.200> was<00:11:28.399> like<00:11:28.720> she<00:11:29.040> would
and then she said it was like she would
and then she said it was like she would
reach<00:11:29.320> out<00:11:29.440> with<00:11:29.560> her<00:11:29.680> other<00:11:29.880> hand<00:11:30.120> and<00:11:30.240> she
reach out with her other hand and she
reach out with her other hand and she
would<00:11:30.720> catch<00:11:30.959> it<00:11:31.639> she<00:11:31.800> would<00:11:32.040> catch<00:11:32.240> the<00:11:32.360> poem
would catch it she would catch the poem
would catch it she would catch the poem
by<00:11:32.839> its<00:11:33.120> tail<00:11:34.120> and<00:11:34.279> she<00:11:34.399> would<00:11:34.680> pull<00:11:34.959> it
by its tail and she would pull it
by its tail and she would pull it
backwards<00:11:36.040> into<00:11:36.279> her<00:11:36.519> body<00:11:36.880> as<00:11:37.040> she<00:11:37.200> was
backwards into her body as she was
backwards into her body as she was
transcribing<00:11:38.040> on<00:11:38.160> the<00:11:38.360> page<00:11:38.680> and<00:11:38.800> in<00:11:38.959> these
transcribing on the page and in these
transcribing on the page and in these
instances<00:11:40.120> the<00:11:40.320> poem<00:11:40.720> would<00:11:40.959> come<00:11:41.160> up<00:11:41.360> on<00:11:41.480> the
instances the poem would come up on the
instances the poem would come up on the
page<00:11:42.000> perfect<00:11:42.720> and<00:11:42.959> intact<00:11:43.839> but<00:11:44.079> backwards
page perfect and intact but backwards
page perfect and intact but backwards
from<00:11:44.880> the<00:11:45.079> last<00:11:45.360> word<00:11:45.680> to<00:11:45.839> the
from the last word to the
from the last word to the
first<00:11:48.880> so<00:11:49.880> when<00:11:50.000> I<00:11:50.120> heard<00:11:50.399> that<00:11:50.560> I<00:11:50.639> was<00:11:50.880> like
first so when I heard that I was like
first so when I heard that I was like
that's<00:11:51.959> un<00:11:52.320> you<00:11:52.440> know<00:11:52.560> that's<00:11:52.720> uncanny<00:11:53.399> that's
that's un you know that's uncanny that's
that's un you know that's uncanny that's
exactly<00:11:54.000> what<00:11:54.160> my<00:11:54.360> creative<00:11:54.839> process<00:11:55.160> is
like<00:11:59.240> it's<00:11:59.399> not<00:11:59.560> at<00:11:59.680> all<00:11:59.880> what<00:12:00.000> my<00:12:00.120> creative
like it's not at all what my creative
like it's not at all what my creative
process<00:12:00.880> I'm<00:12:01.000> not<00:12:01.160> the<00:12:01.399> pipeline<00:12:01.959> you<00:12:02.079> know
process I'm not the pipeline you know
process I'm not the pipeline you know
like<00:12:02.440> I'm<00:12:02.560> a<00:12:02.680> mule<00:12:03.240> and<00:12:03.360> the<00:12:03.480> way<00:12:03.600> that<00:12:03.760> I<00:12:03.880> have
like I'm a mule and the way that I have
like I'm a mule and the way that I have
to<00:12:04.120> work<00:12:04.320> is<00:12:04.440> that<00:12:04.560> I<00:12:04.639> have<00:12:04.720> to<00:12:04.800> get<00:12:04.920> up<00:12:05.040> at<00:12:05.160> the
to work is that I have to get up at the
to work is that I have to get up at the
same<00:12:05.399> time<00:12:05.560> every<00:12:05.720> day<00:12:05.839> and<00:12:06.000> like<00:12:06.200> sweat<00:12:06.519> and
same time every day and like sweat and
same time every day and like sweat and
labor<00:12:07.120> and<00:12:07.279> like<00:12:07.440> Barrel<00:12:07.839> through<00:12:08.040> it<00:12:08.240> really
labor and like Barrel through it really
labor and like Barrel through it really
awkwardly<00:12:09.200> but<00:12:09.560> even<00:12:09.880> I<00:12:10.200> in<00:12:10.320> my<00:12:10.800> mulishness
awkwardly but even I in my mulishness
awkwardly but even I in my mulishness
even<00:12:12.120> I<00:12:12.399> have<00:12:12.600> brushed<00:12:13.040> up<00:12:13.320> against<00:12:13.639> that
even I have brushed up against that
even I have brushed up against that
thing<00:12:14.360> you<00:12:14.480> know<00:12:14.760> at<00:12:15.000> times<00:12:15.519> um<00:12:15.639> and<00:12:15.760> I<00:12:15.839> would
thing you know at times um and I would
thing you know at times um and I would
imagine<00:12:16.279> that<00:12:16.399> a<00:12:16.480> lot<00:12:16.600> of<00:12:16.720> you<00:12:16.839> have<00:12:17.000> too<00:12:17.519> you
imagine that a lot of you have too you
imagine that a lot of you have too you
know<00:12:17.800> like<00:12:17.920> even<00:12:18.160> I<00:12:18.360> have<00:12:18.600> had<00:12:19.240> work<00:12:19.519> or<00:12:19.760> ideas
know like even I have had work or ideas
know like even I have had work or ideas
come<00:12:20.360> through<00:12:20.560> me<00:12:20.760> from<00:12:20.920> a<00:12:21.079> source<00:12:21.440> that<00:12:21.600> I
come through me from a source that I
come through me from a source that I
honestly<00:12:22.519> cannot<00:12:23.000> identify<00:12:23.720> and<00:12:23.920> what<00:12:24.079> is
honestly cannot identify and what is
honestly cannot identify and what is
that<00:12:24.600> thing<00:12:25.279> and<00:12:25.440> how<00:12:25.560> are<00:12:25.720> we<00:12:25.880> to<00:12:26.199> relate<00:12:26.519> to
that thing and how are we to relate to
that thing and how are we to relate to
it<00:12:26.880> in<00:12:27.000> a<00:12:27.160> way<00:12:27.360> that<00:12:27.480> will<00:12:27.639> not<00:12:27.880> make<00:12:28.079> us<00:12:28.360> lose
it in a way that will not make us lose
it in a way that will not make us lose
our<00:12:28.680> mind<00:12:28.959> mind<00:12:29.639> but<00:12:29.839> in<00:12:30.040> fact<00:12:30.440> might<00:12:30.680> actually
our mind mind but in fact might actually
our mind mind but in fact might actually
keep<00:12:31.160> us<00:12:31.360> sane<00:12:32.240> and<00:12:32.360> for<00:12:32.519> me<00:12:32.720> the<00:12:32.920> best
keep us sane and for me the best
keep us sane and for me the best
contemporary<00:12:34.320> example<00:12:34.839> that<00:12:34.959> I<00:12:35.079> have<00:12:35.199> of<00:12:35.320> how
contemporary example that I have of how
contemporary example that I have of how
to<00:12:35.600> do<00:12:35.839> that<00:12:36.440> um<00:12:36.600> is<00:12:36.760> the<00:12:36.920> musician<00:12:37.720> Tom
to do that um is the musician Tom
to do that um is the musician Tom
weights<00:12:38.399> who<00:12:38.560> I<00:12:38.680> got<00:12:38.760> to<00:12:38.920> interview<00:12:39.639> um
weights who I got to interview um
weights who I got to interview um
several<00:12:40.240> years<00:12:40.480> ago<00:12:40.920> on<00:12:41.160> a<00:12:41.519> um<00:12:41.920> on<00:12:42.000> a<00:12:42.120> magazine
several years ago on a um on a magazine
several years ago on a um on a magazine
assignment<00:12:42.880> and<00:12:42.959> we<00:12:43.040> were<00:12:43.199> talking<00:12:43.440> about
assignment and we were talking about
assignment and we were talking about
this<00:12:43.800> and<00:12:43.920> you<00:12:44.040> know<00:12:44.279> you<00:12:44.639> you<00:12:44.800> know<00:12:45.079> Tom<00:12:45.360> I
this and you know you you know Tom I
this and you know you you know Tom I
mean<00:12:45.560> for<00:12:45.720> most<00:12:45.880> of<00:12:46.040> his<00:12:46.199> life<00:12:46.440> he<00:12:46.560> was<00:12:46.720> pretty
mean for most of his life he was pretty
mean for most of his life he was pretty
much<00:12:47.120> the<00:12:47.279> embodiment<00:12:47.920> of<00:12:48.040> the<00:12:48.160> tormented
much the embodiment of the tormented
much the embodiment of the tormented
contemporary<00:12:49.199> modern<00:12:49.480> artist<00:12:49.800> you<00:12:49.920> know<00:12:50.040> like
contemporary modern artist you know like
contemporary modern artist you know like
trying<00:12:50.440> to<00:12:51.040> control<00:12:51.440> and<00:12:51.600> manage<00:12:51.880> and
trying to control and manage and
trying to control and manage and
dominate<00:12:52.519> these<00:12:52.680> sort<00:12:52.800> of<00:12:52.959> uncontrollable
dominate these sort of uncontrollable
dominate these sort of uncontrollable
creative<00:12:54.079> impulses<00:12:54.760> you<00:12:54.880> know<00:12:55.079> that<00:12:55.160> were
creative impulses you know that were
creative impulses you know that were
totally<00:12:55.839> internalized<00:12:56.839> but<00:12:57.000> then<00:12:57.120> he<00:12:57.199> got
totally internalized but then he got
totally internalized but then he got
older<00:12:57.680> and<00:12:57.800> he<00:12:57.920> got<00:12:58.120> calmer<00:12:59.160> and<00:12:59.279> one<00:12:59.440> day<00:12:59.600> he
older and he got calmer and one day he
older and he got calmer and one day he
was<00:12:59.839> driving<00:13:00.120> down<00:13:00.279> the<00:13:00.360> freeway<00:13:00.720> in<00:13:00.839> Los
was driving down the freeway in Los
was driving down the freeway in Los
Angeles<00:13:01.360> he<00:13:01.480> told<00:13:01.639> me<00:13:01.760> and<00:13:01.839> this<00:13:01.920> is<00:13:02.040> when<00:13:02.160> it
Angeles he told me and this is when it
Angeles he told me and this is when it
all<00:13:02.399> changed<00:13:02.800> for<00:13:02.959> him<00:13:03.600> and<00:13:03.839> um<00:13:04.000> and<00:13:04.079> he's<00:13:04.240> like
all changed for him and um and he's like
all changed for him and um and he's like
speeding<00:13:04.760> along<00:13:05.079> and<00:13:05.160> all<00:13:05.279> of<00:13:05.320> a<00:13:05.440> sudden<00:13:05.639> he
speeding along and all of a sudden he
speeding along and all of a sudden he
hears<00:13:06.720> this<00:13:07.040> little<00:13:07.760> fragment<00:13:08.360> of<00:13:08.560> Melody<00:13:09.120> you
hears this little fragment of Melody you
hears this little fragment of Melody you
know<00:13:09.399> that<00:13:09.519> comes<00:13:09.720> into<00:13:09.959> his<00:13:10.120> head<00:13:10.440> as
know that comes into his head as
know that comes into his head as
inspiration<00:13:11.480> often<00:13:11.760> comes<00:13:12.079> Elusive<00:13:12.560> and
inspiration often comes Elusive and
inspiration often comes Elusive and
tantalizing<00:13:13.399> and<00:13:13.519> he<00:13:13.680> wants<00:13:14.000> it<00:13:14.199> you<00:13:14.320> know
tantalizing and he wants it you know
tantalizing and he wants it you know
it's<00:13:14.600> gorgeous<00:13:15.240> and<00:13:15.680> and<00:13:15.800> he<00:13:15.920> Longs<00:13:16.240> for<00:13:16.399> it
it's gorgeous and and he Longs for it
it's gorgeous and and he Longs for it
but<00:13:16.600> he<00:13:16.720> has<00:13:16.839> no<00:13:17.000> way<00:13:17.120> to<00:13:17.279> get<00:13:17.399> it<00:13:17.560> he<00:13:17.680> doesn't
but he has no way to get it he doesn't
but he has no way to get it he doesn't
have<00:13:18.040> a<00:13:18.160> piece<00:13:18.320> of<00:13:18.399> paper<00:13:18.600> he<00:13:18.680> doesn't<00:13:18.920> have<00:13:19.000> a
have a piece of paper he doesn't have a
have a piece of paper he doesn't have a
pencil<00:13:19.399> he<00:13:19.519> doesn't<00:13:19.720> have<00:13:19.800> a<00:13:19.920> tape<00:13:20.160> recorder
pencil he doesn't have a tape recorder
pencil he doesn't have a tape recorder
so<00:13:21.000> he<00:13:21.079> starts<00:13:21.320> to<00:13:21.440> feel<00:13:21.720> all<00:13:21.920> that<00:13:22.040> old
so he starts to feel all that old
so he starts to feel all that old
anxiety<00:13:22.920> start<00:13:23.160> to<00:13:23.320> rise<00:13:23.560> in<00:13:23.760> him<00:13:23.959> like<00:13:24.360> I'm
anxiety start to rise in him like I'm
anxiety start to rise in him like I'm
going<00:13:24.560> to<00:13:24.680> lose<00:13:25.040> this<00:13:25.279> thing<00:13:25.519> you<00:13:25.639> know<00:13:25.880> um<00:13:26.000> and
going to lose this thing you know um and
going to lose this thing you know um and
I'm<00:13:26.279> going<00:13:26.360> to<00:13:26.440> be<00:13:26.519> haunted<00:13:26.880> by<00:13:27.000> this<00:13:27.120> song
I'm going to be haunted by this song
I'm going to be haunted by this song
forever<00:13:27.600> and<00:13:27.720> I'm<00:13:27.839> not<00:13:28.000> good<00:13:28.160> enough<00:13:28.320> and<00:13:28.399> I
forever and I'm not good enough and I
forever and I'm not good enough and I
can't<00:13:28.839> do<00:13:29.000> it<00:13:29.480> and<00:13:29.680> instead<00:13:29.959> of<00:13:30.199> panicking<00:13:31.199> he
can't do it and instead of panicking he
can't do it and instead of panicking he
just<00:13:31.560> stopped<00:13:31.959> he<00:13:32.120> just<00:13:32.360> stopped<00:13:32.760> that<00:13:32.880> whole
just stopped he just stopped that whole
just stopped he just stopped that whole
mental<00:13:33.360> process<00:13:33.600> and<00:13:33.720> he<00:13:33.839> did<00:13:34.040> something
mental process and he did something
mental process and he did something
completely<00:13:35.600> novel<00:13:36.279> um<00:13:36.480> he<00:13:36.639> just<00:13:36.920> looked<00:13:37.199> up<00:13:37.399> at
completely novel um he just looked up at
completely novel um he just looked up at
the<00:13:37.720> sky<00:13:37.959> and<00:13:38.079> he<00:13:38.199> said<00:13:38.600> excuse<00:13:39.000> me<00:13:39.560> can<00:13:39.680> you
the sky and he said excuse me can you
the sky and he said excuse me can you
not<00:13:40.079> see<00:13:40.399> that<00:13:40.560> I'm
driving<00:13:45.199> do<00:13:45.360> I<00:13:45.560> look<00:13:45.800> like<00:13:46.000> I<00:13:46.079> can<00:13:46.279> write<00:13:46.519> down
driving do I look like I can write down
driving do I look like I can write down
a<00:13:46.880> song<00:13:47.279> right<00:13:47.480> now<00:13:47.839> you<00:13:47.920> know<00:13:48.240> if<00:13:48.320> you<00:13:48.560> really
a song right now you know if you really
a song right now you know if you really
want<00:13:49.000> to<00:13:49.320> exist<00:13:49.839> come<00:13:50.079> back<00:13:50.240> at<00:13:50.360> a<00:13:50.480> more
want to exist come back at a more
want to exist come back at a more
opportune<00:13:51.360> moment<00:13:51.839> when<00:13:51.959> I<00:13:52.079> can<00:13:52.279> take<00:13:52.480> care<00:13:52.639> of
opportune moment when I can take care of
opportune moment when I can take care of
you<00:13:53.560> otherwise<00:13:54.440> go<00:13:54.680> bother<00:13:55.079> somebody<00:13:55.440> else
you otherwise go bother somebody else
you otherwise go bother somebody else
today<00:13:56.680> go<00:13:56.920> bother<00:13:57.600> Leonard<00:13:58.079> Cohen<00:13:58.839> you<00:13:58.959> know
today go bother Leonard Cohen you know
today go bother Leonard Cohen you know
and<00:14:00.720> and<00:14:00.920> his<00:14:01.120> whole<00:14:01.360> work<00:14:01.839> process<00:14:02.240> changed
and and his whole work process changed
and and his whole work process changed
after<00:14:02.880> that<00:14:03.040> not<00:14:03.199> the<00:14:03.360> work<00:14:03.639> the<00:14:03.759> work<00:14:03.920> was
after that not the work the work was
after that not the work the work was
still<00:14:04.399> like<00:14:04.600> often<00:14:04.880> times<00:14:05.160> as<00:14:05.320> dark<00:14:05.600> as<00:14:05.720> ever
still like often times as dark as ever
still like often times as dark as ever
you<00:14:06.160> know<00:14:06.519> but<00:14:06.720> the<00:14:07.000> process<00:14:07.600> and<00:14:07.720> the<00:14:07.880> heavy
you know but the process and the heavy
you know but the process and the heavy
anxiety<00:14:08.800> around<00:14:09.120> it<00:14:09.680> was<00:14:09.839> released<00:14:10.399> when<00:14:10.519> he
anxiety around it was released when he
anxiety around it was released when he
took<00:14:10.880> the<00:14:11.079> genie<00:14:11.519> the<00:14:11.680> genius<00:14:12.120> out<00:14:12.240> of<00:14:12.399> him
took the genie the genius out of him
took the genie the genius out of him
where<00:14:12.680> it<00:14:12.759> was<00:14:12.920> causing<00:14:13.199> nothing<00:14:13.440> but<00:14:13.600> trouble
where it was causing nothing but trouble
where it was causing nothing but trouble
and<00:14:14.079> released<00:14:14.440> it<00:14:14.560> kind<00:14:14.720> of<00:14:14.880> back<00:14:15.000> where<00:14:15.160> it
and released it kind of back where it
and released it kind of back where it
came<00:14:15.560> from<00:14:16.240> and<00:14:16.360> realized<00:14:16.720> that<00:14:16.839> this<00:14:16.959> didn't
came from and realized that this didn't
came from and realized that this didn't
have<00:14:17.320> to<00:14:17.480> be<00:14:17.639> this<00:14:17.800> internalized<00:14:18.440> tormented
have to be this internalized tormented
have to be this internalized tormented
thing<00:14:19.600> it<00:14:19.720> could<00:14:19.880> be<00:14:20.079> this<00:14:20.360> peculiar<00:14:20.880> wondrous
thing it could be this peculiar wondrous
thing it could be this peculiar wondrous
bizarre<00:14:22.560> collaboration<00:14:23.360> kind<00:14:23.480> of
bizarre collaboration kind of
bizarre collaboration kind of
conversation<00:14:24.519> between<00:14:25.320> Tom<00:14:25.839> and<00:14:26.079> the<00:14:26.440> strange
conversation between Tom and the strange
conversation between Tom and the strange
external<00:14:27.320> thing<00:14:27.519> that<00:14:27.680> was<00:14:27.839> not<00:14:28.079> quite<00:14:28.440> Tom<00:14:28.920> um
external thing that was not quite Tom um
external thing that was not quite Tom um
so<00:14:30.320> when<00:14:30.440> I<00:14:30.519> heard<00:14:30.759> that<00:14:30.880> story<00:14:31.160> it<00:14:31.279> started<00:14:31.560> to
so when I heard that story it started to
so when I heard that story it started to
shift<00:14:31.959> a<00:14:32.040> little<00:14:32.240> bit<00:14:32.480> the<00:14:32.560> way<00:14:32.720> that<00:14:32.839> I<00:14:32.920> worked
shift a little bit the way that I worked
shift a little bit the way that I worked
too<00:14:33.480> and<00:14:33.600> it<00:14:33.759> already<00:14:34.040> saved<00:14:34.360> me<00:14:34.600> once<00:14:35.120> this
too and it already saved me once this
too and it already saved me once this
idea<00:14:35.759> it<00:14:35.920> saved<00:14:36.199> me<00:14:36.720> when<00:14:36.839> I<00:14:36.880> was<00:14:37.000> in<00:14:37.079> the
idea it saved me when I was in the
idea it saved me when I was in the
middle<00:14:37.360> of<00:14:37.440> writing<00:14:37.759> Eat<00:14:37.959> Pray<00:14:38.279> Love<00:14:38.560> and<00:14:38.680> I
middle of writing Eat Pray Love and I
middle of writing Eat Pray Love and I
fell<00:14:39.120> into<00:14:39.320> one<00:14:39.440> of<00:14:39.560> those<00:14:39.680> sort<00:14:39.839> of<00:14:40.000> pits<00:14:40.240> of
fell into one of those sort of pits of
fell into one of those sort of pits of
Despair<00:14:41.240> that<00:14:41.360> we<00:14:41.480> all<00:14:41.639> fall<00:14:41.920> into<00:14:42.199> when<00:14:42.320> we're
Despair that we all fall into when we're
Despair that we all fall into when we're
working<00:14:42.680> on<00:14:42.839> something<00:14:43.079> and<00:14:43.199> it's<00:14:43.440> not<00:14:44.000> coming
working on something and it's not coming
working on something and it's not coming
and<00:14:44.480> you<00:14:44.600> start<00:14:44.839> to<00:14:44.959> think<00:14:45.160> this<00:14:45.240> is<00:14:45.360> going<00:14:45.440> to
and you start to think this is going to
and you start to think this is going to
be<00:14:45.720> a<00:14:45.920> disaster<00:14:46.480> this<00:14:46.560> is<00:14:46.639> going<00:14:46.759> to<00:14:46.839> be<00:14:46.920> the
be a disaster this is going to be the
be a disaster this is going to be the
worst<00:14:47.320> book<00:14:47.560> ever<00:14:47.759> WR<00:14:48.079> not<00:14:48.240> just<00:14:48.440> bad<00:14:48.639> but<00:14:48.800> the
worst book ever WR not just bad but the
worst book ever WR not just bad but the
worst<00:14:49.279> book<00:14:49.560> ever<00:14:49.800> written<00:14:50.519> and<00:14:50.720> um<00:14:50.959> and<00:14:51.320> I
worst book ever written and um and I
worst book ever written and um and I
started<00:14:51.680> to<00:14:51.800> think<00:14:52.000> I<00:14:52.079> should<00:14:52.279> just<00:14:52.440> dump<00:14:52.920> this
started to think I should just dump this
started to think I should just dump this
project<00:14:53.839> you<00:14:53.959> know<00:14:54.360> um<00:14:54.560> but<00:14:54.680> then<00:14:54.800> I
project you know um but then I
project you know um but then I
remembered<00:14:55.720> Tom<00:14:56.160> talking<00:14:56.440> to<00:14:56.600> the<00:14:56.720> open<00:14:57.040> air
remembered Tom talking to the open air
remembered Tom talking to the open air
and<00:14:57.800> I<00:14:58.040> I<00:14:58.360> I<00:14:58.440> tried<00:14:58.920> it<00:14:59.279> um<00:14:59.560> so<00:14:59.759> I<00:14:59.880> just<00:15:00.040> lifted
and I I I tried it um so I just lifted
and I I I tried it um so I just lifted
my<00:15:00.920> face<00:15:01.160> up<00:15:01.399> from<00:15:01.519> the<00:15:01.639> manuscript<00:15:02.199> and<00:15:02.320> I
my face up from the manuscript and I
my face up from the manuscript and I
directed<00:15:03.120> my<00:15:03.279> comments<00:15:03.639> to<00:15:03.800> an<00:15:03.920> empty<00:15:04.240> corner
directed my comments to an empty corner
directed my comments to an empty corner
of<00:15:04.600> the<00:15:04.759> room<00:15:05.120> and<00:15:05.320> I<00:15:05.480> I<00:15:05.560> said<00:15:05.800> aloud<00:15:06.680> uh<00:15:06.880> listen
of the room and I I said aloud uh listen
of the room and I I said aloud uh listen
you<00:15:07.880> thing<00:15:08.600> um<00:15:09.360> you<00:15:09.519> and<00:15:09.680> I<00:15:09.880> both<00:15:10.079> know<00:15:10.519> that<00:15:10.720> if
you thing um you and I both know that if
you thing um you and I both know that if
this<00:15:11.040> book<00:15:11.240> isn't<00:15:11.480> brilliant<00:15:11.959> that<00:15:12.040> is<00:15:12.199> not
this book isn't brilliant that is not
this book isn't brilliant that is not
entirely<00:15:12.839> my<00:15:13.000> fault<00:15:13.399> right<00:15:13.600> because<00:15:13.759> you<00:15:13.880> can
entirely my fault right because you can
entirely my fault right because you can
see<00:15:14.720> that<00:15:14.880> I<00:15:15.000> am<00:15:15.160> putting<00:15:15.519> everything<00:15:15.839> I<00:15:16.040> have
see that I am putting everything I have
see that I am putting everything I have
into<00:15:16.519> this<00:15:16.759> you<00:15:16.880> know<00:15:17.000> I<00:15:17.079> don't<00:15:17.279> have<00:15:17.440> any<00:15:17.600> more
into this you know I don't have any more
into this you know I don't have any more
than<00:15:18.000> this<00:15:18.199> so<00:15:18.320> if<00:15:18.399> you<00:15:18.480> want<00:15:18.600> it<00:15:18.720> to<00:15:18.800> be<00:15:18.959> better
than this so if you want it to be better
than this so if you want it to be better
then<00:15:19.720> you<00:15:19.839> got<00:15:19.920> to<00:15:20.000> show<00:15:20.199> up<00:15:20.279> and<00:15:20.399> do<00:15:20.519> your<00:15:20.680> part
then you got to show up and do your part
then you got to show up and do your part
of<00:15:20.959> the<00:15:21.079> deal<00:15:21.680> okay<00:15:21.920> but<00:15:22.399> if<00:15:22.480> you<00:15:22.680> don't<00:15:22.880> do
of the deal okay but if you don't do
of the deal okay but if you don't do
that<00:15:23.560> you<00:15:23.680> know<00:15:23.800> what<00:15:23.959> the<00:15:24.079> hell<00:15:24.240> with<00:15:24.360> it<00:15:24.480> I'm
that you know what the hell with it I'm
that you know what the hell with it I'm
going<00:15:24.680> to<00:15:24.800> keep<00:15:25.040> writing<00:15:25.360> anyway<00:15:25.720> because
going to keep writing anyway because
going to keep writing anyway because
that's<00:15:26.360> my<00:15:26.720> job<00:15:27.480> and<00:15:27.600> I<00:15:27.680> would<00:15:27.880> please<00:15:28.120> like
that's my job and I would please like
that's my job and I would please like
the<00:15:28.800> to<00:15:28.920> reflect<00:15:29.240> today<00:15:29.519> that<00:15:29.720> I<00:15:29.800> showed<00:15:30.120> up
the to reflect today that I showed up
the to reflect today that I showed up
for<00:15:30.560> my<00:15:30.720> part<00:15:30.920> of<00:15:31.079> the
job
job
job
because<00:15:37.360> thank
because thank
because thank
you<00:15:39.680> in<00:15:39.800> the<00:15:39.920> end<00:15:40.800> it's<00:15:41.000> like<00:15:41.240> this<00:15:41.560> okay
you in the end it's like this okay
you in the end it's like this okay
centuries<00:15:42.279> ago<00:15:42.680> in<00:15:42.800> the<00:15:42.920> deserts<00:15:43.279> of<00:15:43.440> North
centuries ago in the deserts of North
centuries ago in the deserts of North
Africa<00:15:44.240> people<00:15:44.480> used<00:15:44.720> to<00:15:44.959> gather<00:15:45.279> for<00:15:45.600> these
Africa people used to gather for these
Africa people used to gather for these
Moonlight<00:15:47.240> dances<00:15:47.720> of<00:15:47.880> sacred<00:15:48.240> dance<00:15:48.440> and
Moonlight dances of sacred dance and
Moonlight dances of sacred dance and
music<00:15:48.959> that<00:15:49.040> would<00:15:49.199> go<00:15:49.360> on<00:15:49.560> for<00:15:49.800> hours<00:15:50.040> and
music that would go on for hours and
music that would go on for hours and
hours<00:15:50.519> until<00:15:50.839> dawn<00:15:51.680> and<00:15:51.920> they<00:15:52.000> were<00:15:52.199> always
hours until dawn and they were always
hours until dawn and they were always
magnificent<00:15:53.040> because<00:15:53.240> the<00:15:53.360> dancers<00:15:53.839> were
magnificent because the dancers were
magnificent because the dancers were
professionals<00:15:54.519> and<00:15:54.639> they<00:15:54.720> were<00:15:54.880> terrific
professionals and they were terrific
professionals and they were terrific
right<00:15:55.639> but<00:15:56.079> every<00:15:56.279> once<00:15:56.440> in<00:15:56.560> a<00:15:56.720> while<00:15:57.519> very
right but every once in a while very
right but every once in a while very
rarely<00:15:58.680> something<00:15:59.000> would<00:15:59.240> happen<00:15:59.680> and<00:15:59.800> one<00:15:59.959> of
rarely something would happen and one of
rarely something would happen and one of
these<00:16:00.360> performers<00:16:00.920> would<00:16:01.160> actually<00:16:01.560> become
these performers would actually become
these performers would actually become
Transcendent<00:16:03.240> and<00:16:03.399> I<00:16:03.560> know<00:16:04.040> you<00:16:04.199> know<00:16:04.440> what
Transcendent and I know you know what
Transcendent and I know you know what
I'm<00:16:04.759> talking<00:16:05.040> about<00:16:05.319> because<00:16:05.519> I<00:16:05.600> know<00:16:05.759> you've
I'm talking about because I know you've
I'm talking about because I know you've
all<00:16:06.199> seen<00:16:07.040> at<00:16:07.160> some<00:16:07.319> point<00:16:07.480> in<00:16:07.560> your<00:16:07.680> life<00:16:07.839> a
all seen at some point in your life a
all seen at some point in your life a
performance<00:16:08.480> like<00:16:08.680> this<00:16:08.959> you<00:16:09.079> know<00:16:09.360> and<00:16:09.519> it
performance like this you know and it
performance like this you know and it
was<00:16:09.759> like<00:16:10.000> time<00:16:10.240> would<00:16:10.480> stop<00:16:11.319> and<00:16:11.440> the<00:16:11.560> dancer
was like time would stop and the dancer
was like time would stop and the dancer
would<00:16:12.000> sort<00:16:12.120> of<00:16:12.199> Step<00:16:12.440> through<00:16:12.600> some<00:16:12.759> kind<00:16:12.920> of
would sort of Step through some kind of
would sort of Step through some kind of
portal<00:16:13.800> and<00:16:13.920> he<00:16:14.040> wasn't<00:16:14.240> doing<00:16:14.720> anything
portal and he wasn't doing anything
portal and he wasn't doing anything
different<00:16:15.839> than<00:16:15.959> he<00:16:16.079> had<00:16:16.240> ever<00:16:16.519> done<00:16:16.880> you<00:16:17.000> know
different than he had ever done you know
different than he had ever done you know
a<00:16:17.279> Thousand<00:16:17.600> Nights<00:16:17.880> before<00:16:18.199> but<00:16:18.440> everything
a Thousand Nights before but everything
a Thousand Nights before but everything
would<00:16:18.920> align<00:16:19.759> and<00:16:19.959> all<00:16:20.079> of<00:16:20.120> a<00:16:20.279> sudden<00:16:20.560> he<00:16:20.680> would
would align and all of a sudden he would
would align and all of a sudden he would
no<00:16:21.000> longer<00:16:21.319> appear<00:16:21.519> to<00:16:21.639> be<00:16:21.800> merely<00:16:22.160> human<00:16:22.920> you
no longer appear to be merely human you
no longer appear to be merely human you
know<00:16:23.160> he<00:16:23.279> would<00:16:23.440> be<00:16:23.600> like<00:16:23.800> lit<00:16:24.079> from<00:16:24.319> within
know he would be like lit from within
know he would be like lit from within
and<00:16:24.800> lit<00:16:25.040> from<00:16:25.240> below<00:16:25.600> and<00:16:25.839> all<00:16:26.440> like<00:16:26.600> lit<00:16:26.920> up
and lit from below and all like lit up
and lit from below and all like lit up
on<00:16:27.519> fire<00:16:27.959> with<00:16:28.160> divinity
on fire with divinity
on fire with divinity
and<00:16:29.480> when<00:16:29.680> this<00:16:29.920> happened<00:16:30.759> back<00:16:31.040> then<00:16:31.639> people
and when this happened back then people
and when this happened back then people
knew<00:16:32.319> it<00:16:32.680> for<00:16:32.920> what<00:16:33.040> it<00:16:33.240> was<00:16:33.440> you<00:16:33.560> know<00:16:33.759> they
knew it for what it was you know they
knew it for what it was you know they
called<00:16:34.199> it<00:16:34.399> by<00:16:34.560> its<00:16:34.839> name<00:16:35.680> they<00:16:35.800> would<00:16:35.959> put
called it by its name they would put
called it by its name they would put
their<00:16:36.199> hands<00:16:36.680> together<00:16:36.959> and<00:16:37.040> they<00:16:37.160> would
their hands together and they would
their hands together and they would
start<00:16:37.480> to<00:16:37.639> chant<00:16:38.440> Allah<00:16:39.199> Allah<00:16:40.040> Allah<00:16:41.040> God<00:16:41.920> God
start to chant Allah Allah Allah God God
start to chant Allah Allah Allah God God
God<00:16:42.560> that's<00:16:42.959> God<00:16:43.959> you<00:16:44.120> know<00:16:45.120> um<00:16:45.639> curious
God that's God you know um curious
God that's God you know um curious
historical<00:16:47.319> footnote<00:16:48.279> um<00:16:48.440> when<00:16:48.560> the<00:16:48.680> Moors
historical footnote um when the Moors
historical footnote um when the Moors
invaded<00:16:49.639> southern<00:16:50.000> Spain<00:16:50.560> they<00:16:50.680> took<00:16:51.040> this
invaded southern Spain they took this
invaded southern Spain they took this
custom<00:16:52.360> with<00:16:52.639> them<00:16:53.000> and<00:16:53.120> the<00:16:53.279> pronunciation
custom with them and the pronunciation
custom with them and the pronunciation
changed<00:16:54.319> over<00:16:54.480> the<00:16:54.600> centuries<00:16:55.079> from<00:16:55.319> Allah
changed over the centuries from Allah
changed over the centuries from Allah
Allah<00:16:56.040> Allah<00:16:56.519> to<00:16:57.120> oay<00:16:57.440> o<00:16:57.680> oay<00:16:58.120> which<00:16:58.199> you<00:16:58.519> still
Allah Allah to oay o oay which you still
Allah Allah to oay o oay which you still
here<00:16:59.279> in<00:16:59.440> bull<00:16:59.759> fights<00:17:00.120> and<00:17:00.240> in<00:17:00.360> Flamingo
here in bull fights and in Flamingo
here in bull fights and in Flamingo
dances<00:17:01.240> in<00:17:01.399> Spain<00:17:01.680> when<00:17:01.800> a<00:17:01.959> performer<00:17:02.399> has
dances in Spain when a performer has
dances in Spain when a performer has
done<00:17:02.800> something<00:17:03.240> impossible<00:17:04.120> and<00:17:04.400> Magic
done something impossible and Magic
done something impossible and Magic
Allah<00:17:05.640> oay<00:17:05.959> oay<00:17:06.280> allaha<00:17:06.679> magnificent<00:17:07.280> Bravo
Allah oay oay allaha magnificent Bravo
Allah oay oay allaha magnificent Bravo
incomprehensible<00:17:09.079> there<00:17:09.240> it<00:17:09.360> is<00:17:09.600> a<00:17:09.720> glimpse
incomprehensible there it is a glimpse
incomprehensible there it is a glimpse
of<00:17:10.520> God<00:17:11.520> which<00:17:11.679> is<00:17:11.919> great<00:17:12.400> because<00:17:12.600> we<00:17:12.720> need
of God which is great because we need
of God which is great because we need
that<00:17:13.679> um<00:17:14.079> but<00:17:14.679> the<00:17:14.799> tricky<00:17:15.360> bit<00:17:15.839> comes<00:17:16.360> the
that um but the tricky bit comes the
that um but the tricky bit comes the
next<00:17:16.760> morning<00:17:17.319> right<00:17:17.480> for<00:17:17.640> the<00:17:17.799> dancer
next morning right for the dancer
next morning right for the dancer
himself<00:17:19.400> when<00:17:19.520> he<00:17:19.679> wakes<00:17:20.000> up<00:17:20.600> and<00:17:20.919> discovers
himself when he wakes up and discovers
himself when he wakes up and discovers
that<00:17:21.319> it's<00:17:21.480> Tuesday<00:17:21.880> at<00:17:22.000> 11:00<00:17:22.240> a.m.<00:17:22.520> and<00:17:22.600> he's
that it's Tuesday at 11:00 a.m. and he's
that it's Tuesday at 11:00 a.m. and he's
no<00:17:23.039> longer<00:17:23.400> a<00:17:23.559> glimpse<00:17:23.839> of<00:17:24.039> God<00:17:24.439> um<00:17:24.600> he's<00:17:24.880> just
no longer a glimpse of God um he's just
no longer a glimpse of God um he's just
an<00:17:25.679> aging<00:17:26.079> mortal<00:17:26.679> with<00:17:26.880> really<00:17:27.120> bad<00:17:27.360> knees
an aging mortal with really bad knees
an aging mortal with really bad knees
and<00:17:28.520> you<00:17:28.679> know<00:17:28.840> maybe<00:17:29.120> he's<00:17:29.360> never<00:17:29.640> going<00:17:29.799> to
and you know maybe he's never going to
and you know maybe he's never going to
ascend<00:17:30.720> to<00:17:30.960> that<00:17:31.160> height<00:17:31.559> again<00:17:32.080> and<00:17:32.280> maybe
ascend to that height again and maybe
ascend to that height again and maybe
nobody<00:17:32.919> will<00:17:33.120> ever<00:17:33.480> chant<00:17:34.000> God's<00:17:34.320> name<00:17:34.679> again
nobody will ever chant God's name again
nobody will ever chant God's name again
as<00:17:35.200> he<00:17:35.360> spins<00:17:35.880> and<00:17:36.039> what<00:17:36.160> is<00:17:36.280> he<00:17:36.559> then<00:17:36.679> to<00:17:36.880> do
as he spins and what is he then to do
as he spins and what is he then to do
with<00:17:37.480> the<00:17:37.600> rest<00:17:37.760> of<00:17:37.919> his<00:17:38.160> life<00:17:38.760> this<00:17:38.880> is<00:17:39.120> hard
with the rest of his life this is hard
with the rest of his life this is hard
this<00:17:40.039> is<00:17:40.160> one<00:17:40.240> of<00:17:40.360> the<00:17:40.480> most<00:17:40.679> painful
this is one of the most painful
this is one of the most painful
reconciliations<00:17:42.039> to<00:17:42.240> make<00:17:42.919> in<00:17:43.039> a<00:17:43.200> creative
reconciliations to make in a creative
reconciliations to make in a creative
life<00:17:44.120> you<00:17:44.280> know<00:17:44.840> um<00:17:45.039> but<00:17:45.240> maybe<00:17:45.559> it<00:17:45.679> doesn't
life you know um but maybe it doesn't
life you know um but maybe it doesn't
have<00:17:46.039> to<00:17:46.160> be<00:17:46.360> quite<00:17:46.960> so<00:17:47.240> full<00:17:47.480> of<00:17:47.679> Anguish<00:17:48.360> if
have to be quite so full of Anguish if
have to be quite so full of Anguish if
you<00:17:49.080> never<00:17:49.360> happened<00:17:49.760> to<00:17:49.960> believe<00:17:50.400> in<00:17:50.520> the
you never happened to believe in the
you never happened to believe in the
first<00:17:51.039> place<00:17:51.720> that<00:17:51.880> the<00:17:52.000> most<00:17:52.240> extraordinary
first place that the most extraordinary
first place that the most extraordinary
aspects<00:17:53.480> of<00:17:53.600> your<00:17:53.760> being<00:17:54.200> came<00:17:54.520> from<00:17:54.840> you<00:17:55.559> but
aspects of your being came from you but
aspects of your being came from you but
maybe<00:17:55.919> if<00:17:56.000> you<00:17:56.120> just<00:17:56.280> believe<00:17:56.600> that<00:17:56.720> they<00:17:56.799> were
maybe if you just believe that they were
maybe if you just believe that they were
unloan<00:17:57.640> to<00:17:57.919> you<00:17:58.600> you<00:17:58.720> know<00:17:58.880> from<00:17:59.120> some
unloan to you you know from some
unloan to you you know from some
unimaginable<00:18:00.080> source<00:18:00.400> for<00:18:00.640> some<00:18:00.880> Exquisite
unimaginable source for some Exquisite
unimaginable source for some Exquisite
portion<00:18:01.720> of<00:18:01.840> your<00:18:02.039> life<00:18:02.200> to<00:18:02.320> be<00:18:02.559> passed<00:18:02.840> along
portion of your life to be passed along
portion of your life to be passed along
when<00:18:03.640> you're<00:18:03.840> finished<00:18:04.200> with<00:18:04.360> somebody<00:18:05.200> else
when you're finished with somebody else
when you're finished with somebody else
and<00:18:06.880> you<00:18:07.000> know<00:18:07.159> if<00:18:07.240> we<00:18:07.400> think<00:18:07.600> about<00:18:07.760> it<00:18:07.919> this
and you know if we think about it this
and you know if we think about it this
way<00:18:08.200> it<00:18:08.320> starts<00:18:08.559> to<00:18:08.760> change<00:18:09.320> everything<00:18:10.320> you
way it starts to change everything you
way it starts to change everything you
know<00:18:11.000> this<00:18:11.080> is<00:18:11.240> how<00:18:11.400> I've<00:18:11.559> started<00:18:11.840> to<00:18:11.960> think
know this is how I've started to think
know this is how I've started to think
and<00:18:12.280> this<00:18:12.400> is<00:18:12.520> certainly<00:18:12.840> how<00:18:12.960> I<00:18:13.039> was<00:18:13.360> thinking
and this is certainly how I was thinking
and this is certainly how I was thinking
about<00:18:13.760> it<00:18:13.880> in<00:18:14.000> the<00:18:14.159> last<00:18:14.799> few<00:18:15.080> months<00:18:15.640> you<00:18:15.760> know
about it in the last few months you know
about it in the last few months you know
as<00:18:16.440> um<00:18:16.640> I've<00:18:16.760> been<00:18:16.919> working<00:18:17.200> on<00:18:17.320> the<00:18:17.480> book<00:18:17.720> that
as um I've been working on the book that
as um I've been working on the book that
will<00:18:17.960> soon<00:18:18.159> be<00:18:18.360> published<00:18:18.840> as<00:18:19.039> the
will soon be published as the
will soon be published as the
dangerously<00:18:20.360> frighteningly<00:18:20.960> over
dangerously frighteningly over
dangerously frighteningly over
anticipated<00:18:21.919> followup<00:18:22.480> to<00:18:22.799> my<00:18:23.159> um<00:18:23.320> freakish
anticipated followup to my um freakish
anticipated followup to my um freakish
success<00:18:24.840> um<00:18:25.480> and<00:18:25.720> and<00:18:25.880> and<00:18:26.000> what<00:18:26.080> I<00:18:26.200> have<00:18:26.320> to
success um and and and what I have to
success um and and and what I have to
sort<00:18:26.600> of<00:18:26.720> keep<00:18:26.919> telling<00:18:27.400> myself<00:18:28.159> when<00:18:28.440> I<00:18:28.559> get
sort of keep telling myself when I get
sort of keep telling myself when I get
really<00:18:28.799> psyched<00:18:29.240> out<00:18:29.480> about<00:18:29.799> that<00:18:30.200> is<00:18:30.559> um
really psyched out about that is um
really psyched out about that is um
Don't<00:18:31.039> Be<00:18:31.440> Afraid<00:18:32.280> don't<00:18:32.480> be<00:18:32.679> daunted<00:18:33.679> just<00:18:34.200> do
Don't Be Afraid don't be daunted just do
Don't Be Afraid don't be daunted just do
your<00:18:34.880> job<00:18:35.720> continue<00:18:36.120> to<00:18:36.360> show<00:18:36.559> up<00:18:36.720> for<00:18:36.919> your
your job continue to show up for your
your job continue to show up for your
piece<00:18:37.360> of<00:18:37.520> it<00:18:37.720> whatever<00:18:38.039> that<00:18:38.200> might<00:18:38.400> be<00:18:38.640> if
piece of it whatever that might be if
piece of it whatever that might be if
your<00:18:38.919> job<00:18:39.120> is<00:18:39.240> to<00:18:39.440> dance<00:18:40.120> do<00:18:40.320> your<00:18:40.679> dance<00:18:41.679> if
your job is to dance do your dance if
your job is to dance do your dance if
the<00:18:42.039> Divine<00:18:42.679> cockeyed<00:18:43.400> genius<00:18:44.240> assigned<00:18:44.679> to
the Divine cockeyed genius assigned to
the Divine cockeyed genius assigned to
your<00:18:45.080> case<00:18:45.840> decides<00:18:46.240> to<00:18:46.440> let<00:18:47.159> some<00:18:47.320> sort<00:18:47.520> of
your case decides to let some sort of
your case decides to let some sort of
wonderment<00:18:48.360> be<00:18:48.559> glimpsed<00:18:49.080> for<00:18:49.360> just<00:18:49.600> one
wonderment be glimpsed for just one
wonderment be glimpsed for just one
moment<00:18:50.640> through<00:18:50.840> your<00:18:51.120> efforts<00:18:51.840> then<00:18:52.320> Olay
moment through your efforts then Olay
moment through your efforts then Olay
and<00:18:53.520> if<00:18:53.720> not<00:18:54.600> do<00:18:54.760> your<00:18:54.960> dance<00:18:55.280> anyhow<00:18:56.240> and<00:18:56.400> Olay
and if not do your dance anyhow and Olay
and if not do your dance anyhow and Olay
to<00:18:56.960> you<00:18:57.120> nonetheless<00:18:57.679> I<00:18:57.799> believe<00:18:58.120> this<00:18:58.400> and<00:18:58.520> I
to you nonetheless I believe this and I
to you nonetheless I believe this and I
feel<00:18:58.760> like<00:18:58.880> we<00:18:59.000> must<00:18:59.200> teach<00:18:59.440> it<00:18:59.919> o<00:19:00.159> lay<00:19:00.360> to<00:19:00.559> you
feel like we must teach it o lay to you
feel like we must teach it o lay to you
nonetheless<00:19:01.520> just<00:19:01.640> for<00:19:01.840> having<00:19:02.080> the<00:19:02.280> sheer
nonetheless just for having the sheer
nonetheless just for having the sheer
human<00:19:03.200> love<00:19:03.880> and<00:19:04.159> stubbornness<00:19:05.080> to<00:19:05.280> keep
human love and stubbornness to keep
human love and stubbornness to keep
showing<00:19:05.880> up<00:19:06.880> thank
showing up thank
showing up thank
[Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause]
you<00:19:10.559> thank
you thank
you thank
[Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause]
you<00:19:15.320> than
you than
you than
you<00:19:17.640> thank
you thank
you thank
[Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause]
you<00:19:24.919> thank
you
Elizabeth Gilbert, eat, pray, love, genius, artist, artist, genius, TED, TED, Talk, TED-Ed, TEDEducation, Ed
